Scripture indicates that He feels anguish deeper than you and I can understand. He is the Father who carries the pain of our disobedience.
1 John 1:7 New International Version (NIV)
7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[a] sin.---We who have brought such pan to God can also bring joy, delight and companionship as we accept His cure and walk with His Son.
Imagine the pleasure God derives from everything He has made. What do you think surged through Him the minute after billion galaxies burst into being? Think of what surges through God's heart when you---the epitome of creation---make it your ambition to be pleasing to Him, aspiring to fulfill all His greatest desires for you
I imagine that He really does feel a great amount of anguish at our suffering. Parents certainly do not like watching their children suffer, I cannot imagine that a God such as ours would revel in "picking" on us. The Evil ones, perhaps. But God, no.
I imagine, as well....the slightly overpowering sense of the Holy Spirit on some days of study must be a small sample of the joy He feels towards us. You know what I mean...when you are reading or discussing God with others and there is such a fire burning from His Spirit. I bet that is a lot of joy in us, for making that effort to be with Him.
I have not studied the last several days, my posts still being more than a month behind where I am at in other books. I was (am?--hoping it is gone) a period of apathy towards life in general. Here I am still limited in mobility with my RA, my pain is nearing a 7/10 again, and I have not slept more than two hours a day the last four days. I am tired of being ill, terrified by the prospects of what I could possibly see in the destruction of my body. I just want to be better, and to not have to struggle any more with fevers, sweats, insomnia....so forth and so on.
But, with the hole is studying comes a similar hole of not speaking to God, communicating my thoughts with Him. In other words, I have been more focused on "me" than on my "King", which means I suffer all around because I do not receive the free help available to me.
It's obvious I cannot do this alone. I was quite short tempered yesterday----worse maybe than I have been. But then, I also faced my first birthday "sick", and found the whole idea distressing. Still, that is no excuse to be short tempered with others.
The more I study the more astounded I am about God's character. I do not expect it to be something I ever completely understand....even ages upon ages past the now. He is too wonderful for comprehension, as I song goes. Thank goodness for that. I would really find having a "god" who was so quickly understood to be scary and not someone to lean on. Instead we have the most amazing Person to lean on, who will never tire, and always, always, through the longest watches of the night....be right there.
Psalm 6:1-7 (NIV)
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