"Go outside, to the fields, enjoy nature and the sunshine, go out and try to recapture happiness in yourself and in God."
---Anne Frank, Amsterdam, 1944
I have had a great deal of respect for Anne Frank, more so after finally getting my own copy of her diary this Christmas and reading it at the age of 27 versus age 15. There is also a difference in understanding as I see myself trapped in a few walls. My food is good, I can leave and I am not (yet) in danger of death for who I am and what I believe. Otherwise I feel a connection to the author.
This quote is now underlined in my book. I do not think it is entirely correct, simply because happiness is not found in ourselves but in the relationship between us and our Lord.
It is, however, extraordinarily correct on one major point. It is easier to converse with God when we are in a quiet, beautiful area than in rush hour traffic. Not that it cannot be done...but I have always found personally that my prayers and times of "Be Still and Know that I Am God" are much more interrupted when surrounded by rush hour traffic. Oops! Someone tried to squash me with their semi truck!
The idea of "quiet time" with Him has always irked me. Mainly because of the risk of its becoming rout behavior. It is now 9:39 a.m. I will now read the Word for ten minutes.
No. Such a relationship is useless, lukewarm. We must strive to make our time with God have the effect on us, with even stronger passion, than that of the time we would want to spend with a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse.
I have always loved the quote of being able to sit silently with someone for half an hour without discomfort meant a good, solid relationship. The friends (and spouse!) and family members I have are the sort of people I can sit for half an hour and say nothing without discomfort. The lack of conversation does not mean a lack of relationship...rather a comfort in not having to entertain. To enjoy the silent company of another.
We should be able to know God well enough to feel comfortable enough to sit silently in His glorious Presence and not feel uncomfortable (save perhaps overwhelming awe). If we have the ability to sit silently, with even our minds silent, we can truly bask in His glory. Of course, great conversation and time spent expanding what we know of Him is indeed a wonderful thing. I yearn for both of these things, and find my soul well watered and satisfied with them.
What glories upon glories He does reveal in His relationship with us, the wonders in the Word expanding before us in an unending path of glory and honor. I expect we shall ever find the end of the wonder in God. C.H Spurgeon points out in one of his first sermons that God is ageless...He is not applied by age, His eyes are not dim, nor is His hearing. Somehow, for me and my physical limitations, that idea of agelessness, with no physical damage, is very overwhelmingly awesome. There are no words to continue the thoughts in my mind at this point...imagine on yourself what I see.
Grace and peace be upon you.
Rheumatoid Awareness
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Welcome Readers
Mainly because I find it interesting myself...here is a list of reader countries for this blog. Thanks for stopping in!
(In no particular order):
U.S.
Canada
Romania
Germany
England/ UK
Russia
Ukraine
France
Poland
Indonesia
I feel quite honored to have had people be willing to stop by and read what I have written and been shown by God. Thank you again for reading and sharing in my experience with God and chronic illness. May He indeed be with you all.
(In no particular order):
U.S.
Canada
Romania
Germany
England/ UK
Russia
Ukraine
France
Poland
Indonesia
I feel quite honored to have had people be willing to stop by and read what I have written and been shown by God. Thank you again for reading and sharing in my experience with God and chronic illness. May He indeed be with you all.
Friday, January 29, 2016
Thoughts of God
No subject of contemplation will tend more to humble the mind, than the thoughts of God.
C.H. Spurgeon (Vol 1)
More that I love this quote I found today than anything, but also to say that with a rsounding shout how utterly true this is!
I have certainly less study time in than some persons, and consider myself to be fully lacking knowledge, but efore I got ill and forced to take this time off...I considered myself quite clever. After all, I had made it through nursing school well enough! A true sign, was it not, that I was intelligent?
Considering the knowledge I obtained for nursing in comparrison with the knowledg of God...there is no comparison. Nursing seemed insurmountable at the time, and while more thngs could be learned with that subject, the subject of God is barely broken. I feel that the knowledge I have gained concerning God is the pin point of information in an entir universe of pin points.
A humbling thing to learn about God. Exceedingly rewarding----much past anything I have learned about before.
C.H. Spurgeon (Vol 1)
More that I love this quote I found today than anything, but also to say that with a rsounding shout how utterly true this is!
I have certainly less study time in than some persons, and consider myself to be fully lacking knowledge, but efore I got ill and forced to take this time off...I considered myself quite clever. After all, I had made it through nursing school well enough! A true sign, was it not, that I was intelligent?
Considering the knowledge I obtained for nursing in comparrison with the knowledg of God...there is no comparison. Nursing seemed insurmountable at the time, and while more thngs could be learned with that subject, the subject of God is barely broken. I feel that the knowledge I have gained concerning God is the pin point of information in an entir universe of pin points.
A humbling thing to learn about God. Exceedingly rewarding----much past anything I have learned about before.
Secular and Sacred
One of the greatest hindurances to internal peace which the Christian encounters is the common habit of dividing our lives into two areas, the sacred and the secular. A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God.
By the way, put this book in your must read if you haven't already. It is free on Amazon for the Kindle---although you may have to hunt.
I have seen this behavior in my own life and in the lives of others about me. While Tozer wrote this book some time ago, I think our cultural has furthered the supposed "need" of living "two" lives: secular and faithful.
We can consider how we behave slighty diferent in different groups of people as an example. One group may like certain types of humor, the other not. A division has occured---a division of self.
Consider, though, being in the group where your humor does not mesh with their styles of humor. The group is not "you", and you become less and less inclined to participate.
A divided self like this will likely be more reluctant aout calling to God---ocussing on making the secular life the lesser life. This shows that we really have to fully be in our faith. If we play the secular mode, we are not who we are. We are a half strenth person, following the current thrills of the world; that is, much more easily swept into sin.
I feel like I am this person by example of my RA immune modifying meds. I can take one (the secular) but cannot take the other yet (faithful) because of insurance. Now, then, since I am only on the "secular" medication, I get more and more ill as that medication by itself will not assist me enouh or at all. With this "secular" medication, my RA gets worse and worse, much like separating our lives into secular and sacred.
Now add the "faithful" medication. In the disease sense, my disease of RA diminishes to a point of "living"---doing housework, garden word, driving a car. The "faithful" medication, you see, brings about true life, through the grace of God
Continuing on this thought train, it is the sacred life that brings us life in all the points of life. Our changing to a secular moment because of the person(s) in front of us causes ovewhelming damage---we dishonor God by deciding to be little gods away from "church" stuff, and we dishonor God by not exhibiting the behavior and actions He expects of us; we further cause damage to the faith by not seeming differnt. Be light and salt. I would say a enourmous warning sign is if the people around you are in shock that you are a follower. Oviously you are not enouhg of one that they see if...secular life is your main life. The secular life is your god. It is also a painul thing when someone expresses great shock that you are a Christian ---what have I done? What a disgrace!
Our duty on earth is of differing descriptions, but overall the point is to love and honor God.
We must live with the two in one, with the faithfulness portion taking the larger status, the secular to allow us the knowledg of understanding those who are not of the faith... The righteousness of God's love and guidance will steer us away from over-secularization---assuming we are diligent in watching for sin crouching at our door. We must stand firm against that door.
We must first and formost be honoring to God by listening to what it is He has said.
By the way, put this book in your must read if you haven't already. It is free on Amazon for the Kindle---although you may have to hunt.
I have seen this behavior in my own life and in the lives of others about me. While Tozer wrote this book some time ago, I think our cultural has furthered the supposed "need" of living "two" lives: secular and faithful.
We can consider how we behave slighty diferent in different groups of people as an example. One group may like certain types of humor, the other not. A division has occured---a division of self.
Consider, though, being in the group where your humor does not mesh with their styles of humor. The group is not "you", and you become less and less inclined to participate.
A divided self like this will likely be more reluctant aout calling to God---ocussing on making the secular life the lesser life. This shows that we really have to fully be in our faith. If we play the secular mode, we are not who we are. We are a half strenth person, following the current thrills of the world; that is, much more easily swept into sin.
I feel like I am this person by example of my RA immune modifying meds. I can take one (the secular) but cannot take the other yet (faithful) because of insurance. Now, then, since I am only on the "secular" medication, I get more and more ill as that medication by itself will not assist me enouh or at all. With this "secular" medication, my RA gets worse and worse, much like separating our lives into secular and sacred.
Now add the "faithful" medication. In the disease sense, my disease of RA diminishes to a point of "living"---doing housework, garden word, driving a car. The "faithful" medication, you see, brings about true life, through the grace of God
Continuing on this thought train, it is the sacred life that brings us life in all the points of life. Our changing to a secular moment because of the person(s) in front of us causes ovewhelming damage---we dishonor God by deciding to be little gods away from "church" stuff, and we dishonor God by not exhibiting the behavior and actions He expects of us; we further cause damage to the faith by not seeming differnt. Be light and salt. I would say a enourmous warning sign is if the people around you are in shock that you are a follower. Oviously you are not enouhg of one that they see if...secular life is your main life. The secular life is your god. It is also a painul thing when someone expresses great shock that you are a Christian ---what have I done? What a disgrace!
Our duty on earth is of differing descriptions, but overall the point is to love and honor God.
We must live with the two in one, with the faithfulness portion taking the larger status, the secular to allow us the knowledg of understanding those who are not of the faith... The righteousness of God's love and guidance will steer us away from over-secularization---assuming we are diligent in watching for sin crouching at our door. We must stand firm against that door.
We must first and formost be honoring to God by listening to what it is He has said.
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Quiet Battles
One new point of suffering is entering the battle lines more fully. Scorn. Scorn was something I had been free of as my illness first took hold.
I find scorn, especially as time has drawn close enough that I must put my dearest RN license on "inactive" status. The cursed words "you don't want to just sit there the rest of your life, do you?" that I once said myself to my poor sister now fall like acid rain from others' lips over my own life. I would sooner perish from the earth than spend however many days my life would number than "sit".
No matter what we are facing, though, God is large enough to give us the strength to take it, albeit social anxiety, autoimmune, cancer, ill children.... Inasmuch as He abandoned His Son to die alone on the cross, He is with us "through the watches of the night". All we need do, at any time, is call out to our Father. He will come, stand by our beds, rock us in His arms like the Perfect Father does to His imperfect children. Scorn is not in His eyes; though perhaps hurt if we have chosen to disobey Him and hurt Him. I imagine we would see pride in His eyes if we wept while trying to still bring honor and glory to His name, all the while finding our battles with suffering so hard. He knows what we fight silently in attempt to bring honor to Him.
I more and more dearly love the story of the Prodigal Son as I age and face battles. Somehow as a child and teen it struck more more as a nice story for those who had more blatantly left the flock for a time. Oh, no. It means so much more than that. We are constantly wandering off as we make little godletts of ourselves, as we plan to handle whatever life throws at us. Obviously we know so much. I will just take medication and be fine---whether facing depression or RA or a bad case of anger. My massive intellect and mental strength will fight off alcoholism, pornographic obsessions, whatever it is. Merrily we go off to conquer the world.
Shortly thereafter...as any of us will attest, however grudgingly, we find ourselves in utter disgrace, disgust and degradation. Bottom of the life standard (especially considering pigs were bad to the Jewish world). Exposed as a "loser".
Then, we come back meekly to our Father, expecting to perhaps live on the outskirts. Maybe the littlest of little help.
Really the story of the Prodigal Son works out...because He does accept us back when we wandered off as little godletts. We apologized, begged forgiveness, cried out for help...and indeed He answers!
He does not leave us alone as we face our walk through life. So long as we call to Him, He answers. Maybe not how we might think...but He always answers.
Grace and peace be with you.
I find scorn, especially as time has drawn close enough that I must put my dearest RN license on "inactive" status. The cursed words "you don't want to just sit there the rest of your life, do you?" that I once said myself to my poor sister now fall like acid rain from others' lips over my own life. I would sooner perish from the earth than spend however many days my life would number than "sit".
No matter what we are facing, though, God is large enough to give us the strength to take it, albeit social anxiety, autoimmune, cancer, ill children.... Inasmuch as He abandoned His Son to die alone on the cross, He is with us "through the watches of the night". All we need do, at any time, is call out to our Father. He will come, stand by our beds, rock us in His arms like the Perfect Father does to His imperfect children. Scorn is not in His eyes; though perhaps hurt if we have chosen to disobey Him and hurt Him. I imagine we would see pride in His eyes if we wept while trying to still bring honor and glory to His name, all the while finding our battles with suffering so hard. He knows what we fight silently in attempt to bring honor to Him.
I more and more dearly love the story of the Prodigal Son as I age and face battles. Somehow as a child and teen it struck more more as a nice story for those who had more blatantly left the flock for a time. Oh, no. It means so much more than that. We are constantly wandering off as we make little godletts of ourselves, as we plan to handle whatever life throws at us. Obviously we know so much. I will just take medication and be fine---whether facing depression or RA or a bad case of anger. My massive intellect and mental strength will fight off alcoholism, pornographic obsessions, whatever it is. Merrily we go off to conquer the world.
Shortly thereafter...as any of us will attest, however grudgingly, we find ourselves in utter disgrace, disgust and degradation. Bottom of the life standard (especially considering pigs were bad to the Jewish world). Exposed as a "loser".
Then, we come back meekly to our Father, expecting to perhaps live on the outskirts. Maybe the littlest of little help.
Really the story of the Prodigal Son works out...because He does accept us back when we wandered off as little godletts. We apologized, begged forgiveness, cried out for help...and indeed He answers!
He does not leave us alone as we face our walk through life. So long as we call to Him, He answers. Maybe not how we might think...but He always answers.
Grace and peace be with you.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
RA Post: Flare and Frustration
Flaring or methotrexate hang over...not sure which at the moment. Waiting for my insurance to authorize Enbrel. Yes. The same medication I've been on for six months. I am getting to dislike insurance.
Friday, January 22, 2016
RA Post: Good Doctor
I spoke with my dr, as I was feeling very discourages at my health status. The last two-ish months have not been great. I may have a few good days; the rest lost in purgatory.
He was very sympathtic, but also gave me hope, pointing out my great days....saying that that made him think that it was possible for me to reach better stage of control Whether or not I do, I am grateful for the vote of conifidence, as my own is at such a low ebb. I have such a good doctor. A great blessing.
God is good, however, and maybe He will have plans that involve me elsewhere than my bed-couch.
I have become re-enamoured with Anne Frank, someone I always admired. I got her diary over Christmas, and while I am not being hunted down and in hiding, many of the things she speeaks of I can sympathize with.
Hope to be out soon...
He was very sympathtic, but also gave me hope, pointing out my great days....saying that that made him think that it was possible for me to reach better stage of control Whether or not I do, I am grateful for the vote of conifidence, as my own is at such a low ebb. I have such a good doctor. A great blessing.
God is good, however, and maybe He will have plans that involve me elsewhere than my bed-couch.
I have become re-enamoured with Anne Frank, someone I always admired. I got her diary over Christmas, and while I am not being hunted down and in hiding, many of the things she speeaks of I can sympathize with.
Hope to be out soon...
Opinions and Senses
Jonathan Edwards: Thus there is a difference between having an opinion that God is holy and gracious, and having a sense of the lovliness and beauty of that holiness and grace.
I am not entirely certain I have not used this quote before--but alas, it is a new favorite anyway, so we will discuss it.
With a chronic illness that this far has been undeniably rough---I would say even at the opinion of my physicians---is the risk (and positive proof) of depression. Here I am with a disease which has little chance of remission; how fortunate are those with treatable, controlable conditions!
Indeed, depression nearly overwhelms me but for my times of release, such as now: a break from fevers, severe, bed-thrashing, moaning pain, and nausea that would kill a person not still fattened from prednisone...
It is even in those horrible times that I KNOW, with full certainty, God's extent of Love, Grace, Kindness. Oh, the tears fall now as I write, knowing from the last few days spent in Bible work what Love He truly has for us.
It is not an opinion that God loves me, cares for me...and I believe weeps with me (Book of John, when Lazarus has died) when I weep over illness. No amount of "opinions" would count worth diddly-squat when I am at my sickest. Opinions feel more like someone throwing rocks at my prostrate body....Opinions do not wrap me in the Love of God, as at my weakest and semi-weakest I feel His Spirit "hugging" me with His love, passion, concern.
No. We must be certain of these things, for one, we are more solid in our own faith, and two, it is more helpul to others..
Consider the concrete writings of the apostles. They are firmly convinced of God's love---nothing on this broken earth will convince them otherwise, even up to torture and devilment. The certainty of God's love is the license that ensures we cannot be stopped from being with Him and His Love, Grace, Joy. If we merely have the "opinion", we will be swayed, lose focus, and possibly washed overboard in the storm.
Faith takes great practice. Practice meaning "doing". much like a nurse or doctor. If a nurse or doctor stop being in the medical field, and do not continue educating themselves about medicine....quite frankly I would be afraid to be in their care. Faith, therefore, requires practice. We may even have to force ourselves when things are "right" with the world. Dedicate oneself to deeper and deeper study of the Word, the prayer-comunication system (my weak spot) and other forms of worship. Better yet, do so with the idea of searching for something----like my recent search to see how all the Word points in some way to Christ. It is becoming a truly amazing experience to witness the Old Testament come so alive, more so than ever before.
Grace and Peace to you from our Lord an Savior. May He truly be with you and bless you.
I am not entirely certain I have not used this quote before--but alas, it is a new favorite anyway, so we will discuss it.
With a chronic illness that this far has been undeniably rough---I would say even at the opinion of my physicians---is the risk (and positive proof) of depression. Here I am with a disease which has little chance of remission; how fortunate are those with treatable, controlable conditions!
Indeed, depression nearly overwhelms me but for my times of release, such as now: a break from fevers, severe, bed-thrashing, moaning pain, and nausea that would kill a person not still fattened from prednisone...
It is even in those horrible times that I KNOW, with full certainty, God's extent of Love, Grace, Kindness. Oh, the tears fall now as I write, knowing from the last few days spent in Bible work what Love He truly has for us.
It is not an opinion that God loves me, cares for me...and I believe weeps with me (Book of John, when Lazarus has died) when I weep over illness. No amount of "opinions" would count worth diddly-squat when I am at my sickest. Opinions feel more like someone throwing rocks at my prostrate body....Opinions do not wrap me in the Love of God, as at my weakest and semi-weakest I feel His Spirit "hugging" me with His love, passion, concern.
No. We must be certain of these things, for one, we are more solid in our own faith, and two, it is more helpul to others..
Consider the concrete writings of the apostles. They are firmly convinced of God's love---nothing on this broken earth will convince them otherwise, even up to torture and devilment. The certainty of God's love is the license that ensures we cannot be stopped from being with Him and His Love, Grace, Joy. If we merely have the "opinion", we will be swayed, lose focus, and possibly washed overboard in the storm.
Faith takes great practice. Practice meaning "doing". much like a nurse or doctor. If a nurse or doctor stop being in the medical field, and do not continue educating themselves about medicine....quite frankly I would be afraid to be in their care. Faith, therefore, requires practice. We may even have to force ourselves when things are "right" with the world. Dedicate oneself to deeper and deeper study of the Word, the prayer-comunication system (my weak spot) and other forms of worship. Better yet, do so with the idea of searching for something----like my recent search to see how all the Word points in some way to Christ. It is becoming a truly amazing experience to witness the Old Testament come so alive, more so than ever before.
Grace and Peace to you from our Lord an Savior. May He truly be with you and bless you.
A Good Solid Shove
It truly is fascinating to read the Bible with the mindset of every verse pointing to Christ in some way---I have been trying to "think" that while doing my Bible readings, and by the grace of the Spirit, He has indeed shown me some fascinating things.
(Timothy Keller, in Preaching, points out that all verses in the Bible somehow point to Christ, as I discussed in three or four posts back.)
If you read the passage from the first burning bush meeting (around chap 3, I believe), you can note that God tells Moses numerous times that He will be there with Moses. Moses is not going to go about this alone. Even so, while being in the presence of God, Moses fears he cannot do what lays before him. God continues to encourage him, but in the end leaves the majority of the speaking to Aaron.
There are a few things I like about the passages I quoted. One, it reminds me of Christ. Christ, the perfect man, the Lord Himself, and John the Baptist as His prophet. Echos of what was to come for this nation and the world begin so very early in the Bible. Imperfect echos, yes...but echos that stream back over time; shockwaves, if you will, that instead of affecting the future as normal, affected the past too. Who knows if it really worked like that...another thing to maybe find out in heaven.
Two, I love these passages and chapters now because of the insistence that God keeps making about being with Moses; Moses was not to be left alone in this fight.
We get asked to do seemingly impossible things--speak to a ruthless king, fight a giant, handle cancer, take on chronic diseases, even a horrible day at work. How fleeting those things really are in time, but more importantly...see how God kept telling Moses He would be with him, even when Moses was still refusing to even try. God will not abandon us as we try to get out of trying. Instead, He provides ways for us to be able to handle it while leaning on Him. Doors and windows open to allow ways for us to make steps in fighting our battles. More often than not, He even gives us a shove. Here! Here is Aaron, he will help. Go on now, let us not stay here; go to Egypt! A good, solid shove out the door.
God has been incredible in the past, as these verses show, and I cannot fathom what I read for the future. Imagine how many incredible things He has done for you and I, and the stories of thousands and thousands and thousands of other believers that He has touched and will touch. I do indeed hope that we can read and see the millions upon millions of stories.
(Timothy Keller, in Preaching, points out that all verses in the Bible somehow point to Christ, as I discussed in three or four posts back.)
Exodus 4.16 He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him.
Exodus 7.1 Then the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron will be your prophet.Alright then. Keller speaks on Christ as being the perfect of all the flawed men of God, of all the patriarchs, prophets and "good" men that we know. Try as we might, we are not perfect (which thankfully the Lord knows and forgives!)...Moses, of course, did not want to take on speaking to Pharaoh. I can't say I blame the man--I would not have been terribly pleased with the idea myself. Yes, go speak to one of the top rulers and demand for freedom of his vast slave demographic, his way of wealth and power. No thank you.
If you read the passage from the first burning bush meeting (around chap 3, I believe), you can note that God tells Moses numerous times that He will be there with Moses. Moses is not going to go about this alone. Even so, while being in the presence of God, Moses fears he cannot do what lays before him. God continues to encourage him, but in the end leaves the majority of the speaking to Aaron.
There are a few things I like about the passages I quoted. One, it reminds me of Christ. Christ, the perfect man, the Lord Himself, and John the Baptist as His prophet. Echos of what was to come for this nation and the world begin so very early in the Bible. Imperfect echos, yes...but echos that stream back over time; shockwaves, if you will, that instead of affecting the future as normal, affected the past too. Who knows if it really worked like that...another thing to maybe find out in heaven.
Two, I love these passages and chapters now because of the insistence that God keeps making about being with Moses; Moses was not to be left alone in this fight.
We get asked to do seemingly impossible things--speak to a ruthless king, fight a giant, handle cancer, take on chronic diseases, even a horrible day at work. How fleeting those things really are in time, but more importantly...see how God kept telling Moses He would be with him, even when Moses was still refusing to even try. God will not abandon us as we try to get out of trying. Instead, He provides ways for us to be able to handle it while leaning on Him. Doors and windows open to allow ways for us to make steps in fighting our battles. More often than not, He even gives us a shove. Here! Here is Aaron, he will help. Go on now, let us not stay here; go to Egypt! A good, solid shove out the door.
God has been incredible in the past, as these verses show, and I cannot fathom what I read for the future. Imagine how many incredible things He has done for you and I, and the stories of thousands and thousands and thousands of other believers that He has touched and will touch. I do indeed hope that we can read and see the millions upon millions of stories.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Gnat Wings
To this end I labor, struggling with all His energy which so powerfully works in me. Col 1.29
My labors have changed numerous times over my short lifetime. There was a time when my labor to attend college or any social event was astronomical----I never thought I would reach a point of battling beyond that struggle, and while it is a real evil presence still in my life, it is more like an occasional ey twitch than a never ending cancer.
While Paul's writing at this time would show more the battling gain in the growth of numbers for Christ, we should remember that whatever battle we are facing at the moment (no matter how private) can, and I believe will, be used for the glory of our Lord and Savior.
My same opening example of terrifying fear has been a great tool. I have become a more willing speaker on anxiety and depression, which then makes me a 'safe' person to talk to about such topics. I do not think, of course, that God sends fear to us, but I do know that by going through that experience, (and occasionally continuing) it makes one very humble. No longer can we "fool" ourselves into thinking we can do it all. Or even do it some. Or really quite frankly do anything.
A.W.Tozer speaks on our pride being what made/makes us gods. He is very right---think of the many times we all feel stress building over the various things in our lives. We generally hunker down, half heartedly praying for help. Would you help someone who really did not want your help? Thank the Lord He is the Lord! He will help anyway!
However---and a big howver---that help is no where near as welcome or felt as when a crisis hits. When we have let our pride-god little selves run the world (and so very well, too), it will fall into a million pieces,
I did not ask God for the help I needed with terror until it was absolutely unmanageable. While the terror remained strong, I can certainly tell you one thing: Our God is so much stronger than fear. Incredibly so. Because of that I can justify very strongly how the demons reacted before Jesus Christ. The terror they felt before the calm demenour of the King. That is power.
Thus we should lean on God for everything. For just as He has power over fear, He has power over sickness and death. There is a verse in Revelations I read just last night. He holds the keys to death and Hades. Again, that is power. What have we to worry about? Let us strive on, His energy, power, being filling us. For these times of suffering are but a gnat's wingspead in comparison to the glories we shall see at His feet.
Hope we are all there soon, grace and peace be upon you from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
My labors have changed numerous times over my short lifetime. There was a time when my labor to attend college or any social event was astronomical----I never thought I would reach a point of battling beyond that struggle, and while it is a real evil presence still in my life, it is more like an occasional ey twitch than a never ending cancer.
While Paul's writing at this time would show more the battling gain in the growth of numbers for Christ, we should remember that whatever battle we are facing at the moment (no matter how private) can, and I believe will, be used for the glory of our Lord and Savior.
My same opening example of terrifying fear has been a great tool. I have become a more willing speaker on anxiety and depression, which then makes me a 'safe' person to talk to about such topics. I do not think, of course, that God sends fear to us, but I do know that by going through that experience, (and occasionally continuing) it makes one very humble. No longer can we "fool" ourselves into thinking we can do it all. Or even do it some. Or really quite frankly do anything.
A.W.Tozer speaks on our pride being what made/makes us gods. He is very right---think of the many times we all feel stress building over the various things in our lives. We generally hunker down, half heartedly praying for help. Would you help someone who really did not want your help? Thank the Lord He is the Lord! He will help anyway!
However---and a big howver---that help is no where near as welcome or felt as when a crisis hits. When we have let our pride-god little selves run the world (and so very well, too), it will fall into a million pieces,
I did not ask God for the help I needed with terror until it was absolutely unmanageable. While the terror remained strong, I can certainly tell you one thing: Our God is so much stronger than fear. Incredibly so. Because of that I can justify very strongly how the demons reacted before Jesus Christ. The terror they felt before the calm demenour of the King. That is power.
Thus we should lean on God for everything. For just as He has power over fear, He has power over sickness and death. There is a verse in Revelations I read just last night. He holds the keys to death and Hades. Again, that is power. What have we to worry about? Let us strive on, His energy, power, being filling us. For these times of suffering are but a gnat's wingspead in comparison to the glories we shall see at His feet.
Hope we are all there soon, grace and peace be upon you from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Monday, January 18, 2016
Working on Salvation
Considering my own attempts to earn approval from others, I furthered my consideration onto other's attempts at approval attempts.
We work on approval from family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, bosses, and sometimes random people---unless the reader belongs to that group which claims to never care what anyone thinks of the self in question.
The movement in western culture would shows me the fact that this is indeed a large concern to the populous. We tell ourselves continually that whatever we like and or want is wonderful....so long as (supposedly) it does not affect and or effect anyone. A "wholehearted" attempt possibly at escaping judgement. From others. And from God. Whether we want to admit it or not.
While the opinions of others do not necessarily matter...the opinion of God does. Opinion is not the same as salvation, but if one is squashing the burn of a hurt Holy Spirit, I would say we are walking a bad path. Mine? Patience in handling being so ill at times, foregoing many of the lifestyles as other late 20s women: careers, homes, children, education. The anger at the last half is indeed deep at times, although I am not mad at God....I just know my behavior in handling it is at times poor.
can we earn salvation ourselves? Jonathan Edwards says that we should no more expect works to save us from shell anymore than we should expect a spider's web to stop a falling rock. Let me be succinct---we are the rock.
With the faith and acceptance that Christ did indeed come to earth, die a horrendous death while carrying the sins of those who accept Him on His shoulders and while being fully shunned by God....we would change the spider's web into two by four boards. The faith, as A. W. Tozer points out, is not a one time event, but a continual event. As faith grows in knowing and understanding God, we more fully understand how to please God. Note the word please. Not salvation. Please. Salvation is a free gift---if we are willing to give up our god-ness and accept God as the God and our pitiful attempts at salvation as faulty. Our gifts to God, to please Him, are our works and attempts at the things He has listed in His Word.
We work on approval from family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, bosses, and sometimes random people---unless the reader belongs to that group which claims to never care what anyone thinks of the self in question.
The movement in western culture would shows me the fact that this is indeed a large concern to the populous. We tell ourselves continually that whatever we like and or want is wonderful....so long as (supposedly) it does not affect and or effect anyone. A "wholehearted" attempt possibly at escaping judgement. From others. And from God. Whether we want to admit it or not.
While the opinions of others do not necessarily matter...the opinion of God does. Opinion is not the same as salvation, but if one is squashing the burn of a hurt Holy Spirit, I would say we are walking a bad path. Mine? Patience in handling being so ill at times, foregoing many of the lifestyles as other late 20s women: careers, homes, children, education. The anger at the last half is indeed deep at times, although I am not mad at God....I just know my behavior in handling it is at times poor.
can we earn salvation ourselves? Jonathan Edwards says that we should no more expect works to save us from shell anymore than we should expect a spider's web to stop a falling rock. Let me be succinct---we are the rock.
With the faith and acceptance that Christ did indeed come to earth, die a horrendous death while carrying the sins of those who accept Him on His shoulders and while being fully shunned by God....we would change the spider's web into two by four boards. The faith, as A. W. Tozer points out, is not a one time event, but a continual event. As faith grows in knowing and understanding God, we more fully understand how to please God. Note the word please. Not salvation. Please. Salvation is a free gift---if we are willing to give up our god-ness and accept God as the God and our pitiful attempts at salvation as faulty. Our gifts to God, to please Him, are our works and attempts at the things He has listed in His Word.
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Indispensable
Victory Over the Darkness. Anderson
Faith is indispensable to the Christian life. Believing who God is, what He says and what He does is the passing key into the Kingdom of God.
I will try to write a post, as my blog is sadly neglected, and thus any readers that pass by....I am having having a stupid day, a day I cannot wake up nor make sense of much. Had to make shots late because of that cold and that lack is hitting me.
Meantime...Faith. A Christian without faith is not a Christian. Christian means "little Christs", which sadly few of us deserve such a title. Can you imagine our Saviour without faith? The idea is laughable. If course He has faith---He was and is God!
There is a quote describing a non-christian life I find fascinating: no one will remember anything. This means you can live a meaningful life only if you are careful not to think out the implications of your view of the universe.
What we do in faith for God is meaningful. The works handed us in a day to day basis that we dedicate to our Lord by our faith and actions do mean something. It is said to not store up treasures here but to store treasures in the Kingdom. I imagine that follows the verse of doing everything as unto God.
Faith means everything to everyone. Whether it is faith that God exists or faith that He does not, it is the steering power in our lives. It is what drives our choices. It drives us to pick what is imporant, whether living for others, focusing more on self, focusing on certain gods. We just have to remind ourselves----are we having faith in gods of God? Which view makes it so we can look forward in our universe and not be afraid?
Faith is indispensable to the Christian life. Believing who God is, what He says and what He does is the passing key into the Kingdom of God.
I will try to write a post, as my blog is sadly neglected, and thus any readers that pass by....I am having having a stupid day, a day I cannot wake up nor make sense of much. Had to make shots late because of that cold and that lack is hitting me.
Meantime...Faith. A Christian without faith is not a Christian. Christian means "little Christs", which sadly few of us deserve such a title. Can you imagine our Saviour without faith? The idea is laughable. If course He has faith---He was and is God!
There is a quote describing a non-christian life I find fascinating: no one will remember anything. This means you can live a meaningful life only if you are careful not to think out the implications of your view of the universe.
What we do in faith for God is meaningful. The works handed us in a day to day basis that we dedicate to our Lord by our faith and actions do mean something. It is said to not store up treasures here but to store treasures in the Kingdom. I imagine that follows the verse of doing everything as unto God.
Faith means everything to everyone. Whether it is faith that God exists or faith that He does not, it is the steering power in our lives. It is what drives our choices. It drives us to pick what is imporant, whether living for others, focusing more on self, focusing on certain gods. We just have to remind ourselves----are we having faith in gods of God? Which view makes it so we can look forward in our universe and not be afraid?
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Pushing The Wrong Way
I've been reading Timothy Keller's "Preaching".
He is currently discussing the Western culture's push on individuality. The constant focus and push on the individual could arguably be labeled as a good thing. According to him, (and I would assume history), Christianity ushered in the idea that the individual person was worth something---the Greeks saw everything as a sort of void, and Eastern culture saw the individual as a passing phase of unimportance. Christianity focused on the fact that we were made in the image of God, and the importance of loving God and one another.
The issue is that the individuality has been taken too a far level. When I hear the various sayings of people protecting their individuality...it comes across at the expense of another's--even though the claim of individuality is that it is to protect one's own self and the "self" of others. Whatever I want is fine, so long as no one is hurt. The issue is the amount of people who are hurt on the sidelines...the individuality becomes a large, neon flashing selfish sign.
Individuality is good, to an extent.We should see ourselves as made by God, and as Keller points out, note our emotions and thoughts and point them back at God. Being an individual is not being free. We are captured by our own twisting and undulating laws...if under the service of God, we are freed from servitude to these rules of confusion and irritation. We are instead under a solid framework that withstands the shaking of the earth as time marches on, demanding differing roles.
He is currently discussing the Western culture's push on individuality. The constant focus and push on the individual could arguably be labeled as a good thing. According to him, (and I would assume history), Christianity ushered in the idea that the individual person was worth something---the Greeks saw everything as a sort of void, and Eastern culture saw the individual as a passing phase of unimportance. Christianity focused on the fact that we were made in the image of God, and the importance of loving God and one another.
The issue is that the individuality has been taken too a far level. When I hear the various sayings of people protecting their individuality...it comes across at the expense of another's--even though the claim of individuality is that it is to protect one's own self and the "self" of others. Whatever I want is fine, so long as no one is hurt. The issue is the amount of people who are hurt on the sidelines...the individuality becomes a large, neon flashing selfish sign.
Individuality is good, to an extent.We should see ourselves as made by God, and as Keller points out, note our emotions and thoughts and point them back at God. Being an individual is not being free. We are captured by our own twisting and undulating laws...if under the service of God, we are freed from servitude to these rules of confusion and irritation. We are instead under a solid framework that withstands the shaking of the earth as time marches on, demanding differing roles.
Monday, January 11, 2016
Half-Studying God
The Pursuit of God. A.W. Tozer
The Christian who is alive enough to know himself even slightly will recognize the symptoms of this possessiveness malady [of things] and will grieve to find them in his own heart.
I would never be so bold as to allow I feel this way at all times---that I know immediately when my enthusiasm for some thing in the world has become too non-fulfillingly fulfilling that I "forget" God. Oh no.
There are times and ages when we are better at realizing something has attracted our attention away from God. Other times the interest is well-hidden, like an aggressive, metastatic cancer.
We go, in the later times, merrily along, telling ourselves that all is right with the world, all is right between us and God. We know, deep down, all is not right, but because of the seeming calm, we are willing to go along with everything just the way it is.
Oh, we might make a stab at increasing the depth of our relationship with God. Buy a new Bible study book, turn on the radio to a Christian station while we drive or work. The focus is not there.
We are speaking of a Being who, with words, created all about us. The focus on God, when it's on God, is fully on God. There is no half-studying of God.
Mainly for me, but not always, when times were and are tougher are the times when I have that focus. That is the time when I can sit with the Word and be involved in a conversation. I am not driving about, considering the care I will give my patient when I arrive at the home. I am not considering the bills I have to pay and when. I am fully focused on God and what He has to say.
There is a saying of something along the lines of God whispers, but shouts when He needs to. We get so wrapped up in unimportant things, things that are not "treasures in heaven" but "garbage of the dump" that we may need that shout. We may not get a shout though, if we have been engaged in dumpster diving long enough to have ignored everything. It may still be a whisper.
The thing is...when we listen, that whisper is so loud, and carries so much with it. A shout would be too much.
The Christian who is alive enough to know himself even slightly will recognize the symptoms of this possessiveness malady [of things] and will grieve to find them in his own heart.
I would never be so bold as to allow I feel this way at all times---that I know immediately when my enthusiasm for some thing in the world has become too non-fulfillingly fulfilling that I "forget" God. Oh no.
There are times and ages when we are better at realizing something has attracted our attention away from God. Other times the interest is well-hidden, like an aggressive, metastatic cancer.
We go, in the later times, merrily along, telling ourselves that all is right with the world, all is right between us and God. We know, deep down, all is not right, but because of the seeming calm, we are willing to go along with everything just the way it is.
Oh, we might make a stab at increasing the depth of our relationship with God. Buy a new Bible study book, turn on the radio to a Christian station while we drive or work. The focus is not there.
We are speaking of a Being who, with words, created all about us. The focus on God, when it's on God, is fully on God. There is no half-studying of God.
Mainly for me, but not always, when times were and are tougher are the times when I have that focus. That is the time when I can sit with the Word and be involved in a conversation. I am not driving about, considering the care I will give my patient when I arrive at the home. I am not considering the bills I have to pay and when. I am fully focused on God and what He has to say.
There is a saying of something along the lines of God whispers, but shouts when He needs to. We get so wrapped up in unimportant things, things that are not "treasures in heaven" but "garbage of the dump" that we may need that shout. We may not get a shout though, if we have been engaged in dumpster diving long enough to have ignored everything. It may still be a whisper.
The thing is...when we listen, that whisper is so loud, and carries so much with it. A shout would be too much.
No Longer Slaves
Pursuit of God. A.W. Tozer
The way to deeper knowledge of God is through the lonely valleys of the soul poverty and abnegation of all things. These blessed poor are no longer slaves to the tyranny of things...though free from all sense of possessing, they yet posses all things.
Just a quote for the moment...looking through my notes and really like this one.
The way to deeper knowledge of God is through the lonely valleys of the soul poverty and abnegation of all things. These blessed poor are no longer slaves to the tyranny of things...though free from all sense of possessing, they yet posses all things.
Just a quote for the moment...looking through my notes and really like this one.
Friday, January 8, 2016
RA Post: pain, nausea and prison.
It's never the pain. Pain can be ignored. It's the fact our RA bodies are spending all extra and normal energies on ripping our bodies apart.
It's the overwhelming exhaustion...the type that makes you fall asleep on chairs at the table while eating, while using restrooms, while standing in showers.
It's the raging nausea that makes all food turn your stomach; nausea that makes you unaware of stomach flus. Nausea that makes it impossible to even drink water or take meds to attempt the stemming of a disease.
RA can cause bones and tendons to separate. RA destroys lives.
I look back at my life and see RA's ugly fingerprints all over it. Nausea induced heat intolerance....leaving friend's homes because I felt so horrible so suddenly. Random exhaustion and random days of feeling really good. Inability to climb onto a horse properly, or to ride correctly. Inability to milk goats or cows, but able to clean stalls. Severe anxiety and panic attacks. Periods of normalcy followed by random excessive ocd periods. Inability to sleep properly. Honestly, RA was everywhere....I doubt I would have been diagnosed, as short of horrid growing pains and a knee that locked up solid, I had nothing that would be seen as symptoms.
I am desperate for a cure, for treatment that works. Only something like 20% actually get treatments that cause remission.
This was not what I envisioned for my life. I saw myself as a nurse, a wife, a mother.....maybe eventually involved in research or a nursing professor. I'm stuck for the moment. RA has seized my self as effectively as a prison...with time out for good behavior.
It's the overwhelming exhaustion...the type that makes you fall asleep on chairs at the table while eating, while using restrooms, while standing in showers.
It's the raging nausea that makes all food turn your stomach; nausea that makes you unaware of stomach flus. Nausea that makes it impossible to even drink water or take meds to attempt the stemming of a disease.
RA can cause bones and tendons to separate. RA destroys lives.
I look back at my life and see RA's ugly fingerprints all over it. Nausea induced heat intolerance....leaving friend's homes because I felt so horrible so suddenly. Random exhaustion and random days of feeling really good. Inability to climb onto a horse properly, or to ride correctly. Inability to milk goats or cows, but able to clean stalls. Severe anxiety and panic attacks. Periods of normalcy followed by random excessive ocd periods. Inability to sleep properly. Honestly, RA was everywhere....I doubt I would have been diagnosed, as short of horrid growing pains and a knee that locked up solid, I had nothing that would be seen as symptoms.
I am desperate for a cure, for treatment that works. Only something like 20% actually get treatments that cause remission.
This was not what I envisioned for my life. I saw myself as a nurse, a wife, a mother.....maybe eventually involved in research or a nursing professor. I'm stuck for the moment. RA has seized my self as effectively as a prison...with time out for good behavior.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Mechanically Saved
The Pursuit of God. A.W. Tozer
The whole transaction of religious conversion has been made mechanical and spiritless...Christ may be "received" without creating any special love for Him in the soul of the receiver. The man is "saved", but he is not hungry or thirsty after God.
I have seen this out and about in the "Christian" community, but furthermore, we can consider that we go through seasons of this in our own walks. Particularly if we are not watching our walk.
It is too easy in this life, this busy, demanding life, to begin to walk along the path of nothing. We know God is there, but we "have" to focus on this thing, this god, right in front of us. They are even necessary things: jobs, families, friends, volunteer and church-related things. Good things. However, we begin to not see the trees for the forest.
I realized in nursing school that I could spend hours and days studying to be able to pass an exam, to know what I was doing as a nurse. Yet I could not, had not, and did not spend the same time and effort with my King and Savior. I intended to, it just did not happen.
After school, I was married and working. I tried to spend time with Him, but yet again, things happened. I was tired. I had to do laundry. I had to do this, I had to do that.
Even now, if I have increased health, and so can be distracted by "things to do", I do not spend the time and effort in studies that I do during flare-ups.
Life simply demands our attention. Naturally it was not meant to be that way in the Garden; yet our Lord did walk the earth and understands. Not that that gives us free reign to run amok and not seek Him, no.
Instead we must remember in whatever way makes remembering best for us that our Lord is truly the most important Thing in our lives. Spending time with God is not a check-list item. It is necessary---and our life is easier, simply because no matter what we face, we find ourselves deeply involved with the Lord.
So it depends. Are we mechanically saved today, or are we alive in Christ? We can make that change to alive. And being alive in Christ is alive, so very alive...even if in the confines of a couch in pain and nausea.
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
The Old Testament + The New Testament = Jesus Christ, Messiah, King, Savior
Gen 1 8 Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. 9 The Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Gen 1. 15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
Here's a link to Genesis 2
I have read these passages who knows how many times.
A main point to the tale of our eventual Fall. Eat of any tree, eat of the Tree of Life. Do not eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.
Many of the old Bible stories, perhaps especially for a person raised from infancy in the church, have been drilled on with at least one reference a year as a child, makes them less important. Children appear to their parents with coloring pages of a tree with fruit on it.
We are missing a major point of the Old Testament stories. A point that has only recently been made aware to me. I cannot say that I have ever heard in my teen or adult life a lecture on the Garden---much less as I am beginning to want to hear the Word.
Timothy Keller, in his book "Preaching", discusses that Christians need to make a point of studying the Word, all of the Word, as it pertains to Jesus. The Old Testament had one Thing it was pointing to: Christ.
Again, I have never been taught that in my years of church-going and Sunday School/Youth Group lessons. It seemed as if the Old Testament was the Old Testament, the New Testament was the New. The New was about Jesus. The New was very important because it was about Jesus. The Old was the history of the Jewish nation. The Old had some good rules to follow. End of story.
How dreadfully mistaken I (and apparently others!) have been. There are a variety of authors I intend to gather, which Keller recommends, to help me see the connections to Christ in the Old Testament, but if one begins to read the OT with the idea of looking to see what verses show Christ...they begin to jump out at you.
For instance, I suddenly see something when (especially) looking at the two opening sections. Our life in the Garden was perfect. We had no disease, trials, sufferings, and we walked with God. We had one, and only one, command: not to eat of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Yet with apparently little encouragement in the next chapter, woman happily eats her piece of fruit, takes it to her husband, and with little encouragement, he happily eats too. (I also now note how easy it is for us to spread our sinful ideas. Terribly, horribly easy. Just a few words and we are willing to accept sin.)
To me this little section shows me that it would not matter how few laws we had; I have heard people be against God because He is "too strict". How, in this time period, is one law too strict? One law. If we could not manage to hold down one law, it shows how enormously we needed Christ to cover our sins. There is no way a human being can obey God without the assistance of Christ's terrible death. We literally nailed Him to the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and let His blood rain down on it's roots, while we danced and sang at the bottom.
We need Christ's blood to cover our sins, the sins we made when even one law could not be kept. We need His Spirit to guide us against sins, to understand His Word, to Counsel us in life. We need God. Period. End of story.
Gen 1. 15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
Here's a link to Genesis 2
I have read these passages who knows how many times.
A main point to the tale of our eventual Fall. Eat of any tree, eat of the Tree of Life. Do not eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.
Many of the old Bible stories, perhaps especially for a person raised from infancy in the church, have been drilled on with at least one reference a year as a child, makes them less important. Children appear to their parents with coloring pages of a tree with fruit on it.
We are missing a major point of the Old Testament stories. A point that has only recently been made aware to me. I cannot say that I have ever heard in my teen or adult life a lecture on the Garden---much less as I am beginning to want to hear the Word.
Timothy Keller, in his book "Preaching", discusses that Christians need to make a point of studying the Word, all of the Word, as it pertains to Jesus. The Old Testament had one Thing it was pointing to: Christ.
Again, I have never been taught that in my years of church-going and Sunday School/Youth Group lessons. It seemed as if the Old Testament was the Old Testament, the New Testament was the New. The New was about Jesus. The New was very important because it was about Jesus. The Old was the history of the Jewish nation. The Old had some good rules to follow. End of story.
How dreadfully mistaken I (and apparently others!) have been. There are a variety of authors I intend to gather, which Keller recommends, to help me see the connections to Christ in the Old Testament, but if one begins to read the OT with the idea of looking to see what verses show Christ...they begin to jump out at you.
For instance, I suddenly see something when (especially) looking at the two opening sections. Our life in the Garden was perfect. We had no disease, trials, sufferings, and we walked with God. We had one, and only one, command: not to eat of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Yet with apparently little encouragement in the next chapter, woman happily eats her piece of fruit, takes it to her husband, and with little encouragement, he happily eats too. (I also now note how easy it is for us to spread our sinful ideas. Terribly, horribly easy. Just a few words and we are willing to accept sin.)
To me this little section shows me that it would not matter how few laws we had; I have heard people be against God because He is "too strict". How, in this time period, is one law too strict? One law. If we could not manage to hold down one law, it shows how enormously we needed Christ to cover our sins. There is no way a human being can obey God without the assistance of Christ's terrible death. We literally nailed Him to the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and let His blood rain down on it's roots, while we danced and sang at the bottom.
We need Christ's blood to cover our sins, the sins we made when even one law could not be kept. We need His Spirit to guide us against sins, to understand His Word, to Counsel us in life. We need God. Period. End of story.
Sunday, January 3, 2016
RA Post: Colds, Colds, Colds
I do not know yet if I have a cold. The whole house has one, in various stages of remission. I have become even more the cruel OCD Master, and placed bottles of hand sanitizer as well as signs demanding the use of such liquid before opening refrigerator and cupboards. Husband has been in a bad way today...but he just worked 6 days straight with two of the days being in a cold virus way.
Let's face it...I am finally to shot number 4, and I am finally getting to the state of "maybe" consistently not sleeping 48 hours at a go.
(I did mention that in passing to my primary, and he said: "Pain'll do that." It is indeed exhausting.)
I am popping Zinc, vitamin C, and a multivitamin. I dunno. Feel the ominous signs, but hoping that that will pass.
If I am going to get sick...I'd rather it be super short so I perhaps miss one week's shots. Not a months.
Otherwise, I feel pretty well. Loosing some of the constant "hot" feeling from inflammation, needing less sleep, able to be up and about the house.
Even had company for New Year's to watch a movie and talk. It was lovely. I slept later the next day, but I had such a great time.
Let's face it...I am finally to shot number 4, and I am finally getting to the state of "maybe" consistently not sleeping 48 hours at a go.
(I did mention that in passing to my primary, and he said: "Pain'll do that." It is indeed exhausting.)
I am popping Zinc, vitamin C, and a multivitamin. I dunno. Feel the ominous signs, but hoping that that will pass.
If I am going to get sick...I'd rather it be super short so I perhaps miss one week's shots. Not a months.
Otherwise, I feel pretty well. Loosing some of the constant "hot" feeling from inflammation, needing less sleep, able to be up and about the house.
Even had company for New Year's to watch a movie and talk. It was lovely. I slept later the next day, but I had such a great time.
The Golden Sin Mansion on the Hill
Victory Over the Darkness. Anderson
Rom 6.6 6 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with,[a] that we should no longer be slaves to sin—
tells us that the old self was independent and disobedient to God---gone forever because you are no longer separated from God.
The death of your old self formally ended your relationship with sin, but it did not end sin's existence. [ By the cross], no longer under any obligation to serve sin, obey sin or to respond to sin.
The new life which characterizes your new self is nothing less than the life of Jesus Christ implanted in you
Many times in our lives, our problems stem from one of two things. Either sin in the world affects us...or the sin that we choose to partake in affects us.
Sin spends its time learning to twist our thoughts into thinking whatever that particular sin "is" is not a sin at all. A mere technicality. People just think I am being sinful.
Sin twists its words into saying that God wants us to be happy, to be us...regardless of what sins may occur to meet this end.
Sinclair Ferguson, in "Whole Christ", uses wonderful phrasing by explaining the serpent's way of undulating his tongue against God. The serpent, he explains, firstly initiated that God is not actually loving, and does not actually care for us with all His Person. That poison, Ferguson further states, entered the bloodstream of humanity and has not yet left. Sin continues to try to prove to us that we have to do what we want because God will otherwise leave us as orphans.
When one considers their own weakness for whichever sin is one's biggest weakness...there are indeed times that the sin seems alive. Calling, crying to us like a lost child. Shining on a hill, bigger and brighter than anything on the horizon. Pungent lies, deepening every moment to lead to our destruction.
God is in us, and we are in Him, so long as we have made that choice, and continue to strive towards Him. The "golden" sin on the hill begins to look like it truly is: a broken down mansion filled with mildew, rot and bats.
Our pet sin must be trained. Trained into absolute submission. And the only way to do that is allow the Spirit to command us, guide us and show us the way. It was never said in the Word that following the King of all would be easy. It was said that He would never leave us, nor forsake us. It was said that He prepares a place for us. His love and the place He prepares in comparison to the torment escalated here and the rotten, mildewed, bat-filled future the other provides are hardly worth comparing. The "easy" way may seem easy....but in all reality it is among the worst choices to make.
Ask for help from your King, Father and Lord...He sends strength like a coat of armor.
Friday, January 1, 2016
RA Post: 1 Year Of Posts
Rheumatoid Arthritis, Me and God is at one year's worth of posts, with about 345 posts (366 if including drafts) and over 1600 visits.
I hope that the posts have enlightened you for the sake of RA awareness, the sake of my findings about God, and how I stand day to day with my illness.
I hope that all are well who have been reading, find suitable treatments, and expand their walk with the King.
Personally, I hope to be put into remission, return to work part time as an RN...and follow some dreams.
May the peace of our Lord be upon us.
I hope that the posts have enlightened you for the sake of RA awareness, the sake of my findings about God, and how I stand day to day with my illness.
I hope that all are well who have been reading, find suitable treatments, and expand their walk with the King.
Personally, I hope to be put into remission, return to work part time as an RN...and follow some dreams.
May the peace of our Lord be upon us.
A Breath of Life
Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. Gen 2.7
And with that He breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit." Jn 20.22
Considering the Genesis verse is before the Fall, and at that time we walked with God....I wonder/assume it is possibly a mentioning of the Spirit.
I have always loved the verse in John. It reminds me of the times in the Narnia stories when the children were terrified beyond measure....and the good King of that land breathed on them, giving them his strength.
Our marvelous gift from God of our Counselor is much beyond that of a story. We have the great Creator to lean against when the things in our lives terrify us. We were not meant to be creatures of Fear. The Bible, and thus God, tell us over and over to not fear.
He never gave us a spirit of Fear. That one we find and let live in our world all on our own power. Fear is a great monster, and seeks to be worshipped. If we allow Fear in our lives, it can become the god of our life. Think of the many stories in the Word that speak of terror leading people astray from God. I have in mind the Israelites before the mountain, waiting to receive the commandments from the God who had saved them from 400 years of slavery. It seems that fear lead them to demand a golden calf be made to worship....and ultimately led to destruction.
The lack of Fear as one's god can further be seen in the story of the lion's den with Daniel, and then also with the three thrown into the fire furnace.
Few things dare to dishonor God. Why should we fear then? Those that dishonor God have already lost the battle. Our trials may continue, but so long as we reach for our King, He will always be with us....even when we are not reaching, He still stands with us. It is easier to see Him, though, if we are looking.
And with that He breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit." Jn 20.22
Considering the Genesis verse is before the Fall, and at that time we walked with God....I wonder/assume it is possibly a mentioning of the Spirit.
I have always loved the verse in John. It reminds me of the times in the Narnia stories when the children were terrified beyond measure....and the good King of that land breathed on them, giving them his strength.
Our marvelous gift from God of our Counselor is much beyond that of a story. We have the great Creator to lean against when the things in our lives terrify us. We were not meant to be creatures of Fear. The Bible, and thus God, tell us over and over to not fear.
He never gave us a spirit of Fear. That one we find and let live in our world all on our own power. Fear is a great monster, and seeks to be worshipped. If we allow Fear in our lives, it can become the god of our life. Think of the many stories in the Word that speak of terror leading people astray from God. I have in mind the Israelites before the mountain, waiting to receive the commandments from the God who had saved them from 400 years of slavery. It seems that fear lead them to demand a golden calf be made to worship....and ultimately led to destruction.
The lack of Fear as one's god can further be seen in the story of the lion's den with Daniel, and then also with the three thrown into the fire furnace.
Few things dare to dishonor God. Why should we fear then? Those that dishonor God have already lost the battle. Our trials may continue, but so long as we reach for our King, He will always be with us....even when we are not reaching, He still stands with us. It is easier to see Him, though, if we are looking.
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