Many More Things

²⁵ Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.
John 21.25

Oh my. I have read this before, of course, but unless you read and read and read and read the Word, pieces slip from your mind. 
Can you imagine what other miracles and wonders Jesus must have done while here on Earth? While alive (pre crucifixion and post) He did incredible things---the ones we know about. I am so curious about what we do not know about. 
I also add that He does so much in each of our own lives. Maybe not an out-and-out miracle, although I have had experiences and prayers answered that I would call a miracle, but there are many things He does. 
He is there at all hours, ready to comfort and lend strength. He provides salvation to creatures who likely do not deserve it at all. He does small and large things in our lives in so many places. 
I would love to read everything He has done. Even if it took all eternity.

Killing a King

C.S. Lewis: "Our natural experiences are like pencilled lines on flat paper. If our natural experiences vanish in the risen life, they will vanish only as pencil lines vanish from the real landscape; not as a candle flame that is put out but as a candle flame which becomes invisible because someone has pulled up the blind, thrown open the shutters, and let in the blaze of the risen sun."

 From then on, Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jews kept shouting, "If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar. Anyone who claims to be a king opposes Caesar." Jn 19.12

But they shouted, "Take him away! Take him away! Crucify him!"
"Shall I crucify your king?" Pilate asked. 
"We shall have no king but Caesar," the chief priests answered. Jn 19.15


Our lives are but a glimmer, a glimpse of what real life would be, and I suspect, will be. There is a book series I enjoy that is similar to the Narnia series in that a second world can be visited. And in this world, our look-alikes are called glimpses. The world is also saddened and broken, but is incredibly remade at the end of the series. 
While the quote of C.S. Lewis does not exactly fit with the verses I shared from tonight's Bible reading...I was struck dumb by them and must share them. 
The quote makes me think how insignificant, in the great scheme of things, my world currently is. All that is truly important is my King, and the world He will provide for me (and you) when the time is right...when the rooms and places are ready, the last person who would be saved before the appointed time is saved (as I have thought)...then we will be gathered up in a great procession, the greatest bridal procession ever imagined. The lines of sorrow on the flat paper of our lives will be suddenly minimized as the world explodes with light, glory and wonder...our bodies changed (I always wonder if we have better senses then, or if we are super strong...) never to age nor weaken. No sorrow, and all of our tears wiped away by the most loving of Kings who ever lived, live or would live. 

I read the crucifixion story with horrified excitement. Pilate especially fascinates me, as he tried numerous times to escape this situation, and to release Jesus. I often have wondered how he handled the things that happened at crucifixion. The sudden darkness, tearing of the temple curtains, etc.  
I think too, how interesting it is about the "king" discussions which the verses show examples of. It is mentioned in the 19th chapter of John that Pilate was "even more afraid". I do think that he felt this was no normal situation, and no normal man.
In the Old Testament, if you recall, the Israelites began to demand a human king; up to that point God Himself had been their (or our, if you consider we are "adopted" Jews) King. They wanted to be like all the other people who had human kings. Ok. He allowed and chose a king to lead the people. At times this was a good thing, and at times disaster. 
Now, here is a king, a King in human form, who would, is and will be the most perfect King who could be. He is even of the line of David. Yet the Jews demand His death, and pick instead a king who did not even believe in God.
All of this had to happen. Because it happened, I have a King today. I have a King who listens to my heart-felt cries in the middle of the night. I have a King who is compassionate and slow to anger. I have a King who died the most horrible death that death will ever see so that I and He might be one.

 "I have made you known to them and I will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them." Jn 17.26

In the Perfect Time

(NIV)  Acts 17.26 ²⁶ From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.
 For other versions click here

If He set the stars, planets, moons, comets and microscopic dust in the reaches of space in a certain place and to move at a certain time and speed...and we are born in a certain time, a certain place and about certain people, how perrfectly perfect it is that we are here. 

I have often thought that I seemed out of place with the world. What humors others often does not amuse me, what interests me is often not a mainstream interest. I feel I do not belong, but obviously by this verse I am meant to be in this time frame, speaking to the people I meet and know, walking (shall we say limping?) the walk I walk. 

Perhaps the feeling of not belonging in the world for those of us of the faith is due to that verse of our not belonging to this world.  We only love the world if we are of it. We are meant to live with God...and when our faith is real, we belong less to the world than we did before. This is a good thing, considering that the world we live in is a shattered simile to that which we do belong. I would consider that those who refuse to have faith and also feel that feeling of unsettling detachment to the world feel it because of the gaping hole they refuse to fill. We need God. We know that this place we call home is not right.

 So if we are here, now, why are we here and now? What is so great about this special time-frame?
I take from the opening verse, as a comfort, that as I am placed in the world in this time with these people...that I must also fight the fights I fight, take on the illnesses given me, and continue, in the best manner possible, to honor God, to love those about me...and if any way possible, continue to be the servant towards others.
We should consider that we are all here at this time for a reason. I think that sometimes we look for too deep of a reason, and that that searching hinders our reason. Not all of us are pastors of churches. Not all of us publish books that set fire to the land. That may not be our calling; that is not wrong. One knows if one is being called towards one form of service or another. I have had people who are of great, unmentionable worth to me because of the kind words, notes and prayers sent towards me. While they have not, perhaps, reached someone's heart in Asia, they have indeed made a difference in my life. 
Words are extraordinarily powerful. After all, the Son of God is called the Word---and God created all that is about us with Words. I tend to think that we are all here, in whatever time-frame, for a couple of things. We should first and foremost love and honor God. We should show others the love of God by our actions and lives, and conversations as often as we can. The best way to show love, for me...has always been by words.

Walking

Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,^[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me. 
Psalm 23.4 

Diamonds in the Dust. J.E. Tada
I'm particularly fond of the 4th verse. Even though I walk through....the psalmist doesn't focus his attention on the dark valleys, and he's not distracted by the shadows. The dark valley is a place to go through, not a place to stay in.

RA Post: Christmas

Apologies on the lack of posts. Working on trying to get one up on Bible study finds. 
Not been very well. Managed to do little Christmas things

Of Even More Certainty

I have begun a new project to attempt to add to my current Bible studies. I am writing down the book of John, and using the references noted on my Kindle's Bible, also writing down those verses. 
I have to say that this venture will use a lot of paper and ink...but I also have to say that the little I have done is an incredible insight into how the whole Bible points to Christ. 
My only regret is that the references do not dig into the Old Testament as much as I would like. However, it is a start. 
I would highly recommend such a venture. Even one verse out of a favorite book with it's references have some pretty amazing finds.

RA Post: Hard Day

Some days are just harder. Limitations are more noticeable. Today I was half ok in the early morning, took a mid morning nap, was up again for a short while, and then, naturally, began to feel worse. And today was a day travel was needed to see my favorite in-laws. I tried...but felt so awful by the time we got there...

We all have our limitations.

RA Post: Pure Stupidity

I just out and out did too much. I am "sort of" ok now, but I really have been asleep for the last week. I think a week. I really don't know. 
So. Hanging on, doing a little bit better.

Steering the Ship

Diamonds in the Dust. J.E. Tada

Someone once said that Satan may power the ship of calamity, but God steers it  to serve His own purpose....we have His promise [of] Rom 8.28.
The Lord is never forced into a corner. The Lord is never backed into a wall. "Suffering is...an opportunity to experience evil and change it into good." Saul Bellow

It has always bothered me if those about me say God has sent whatever trial or hardship. While I think that He allows it---from what I understand in my Bible reading---I would be more inclined to think the opening sentence is true. God steers the "calamity" boat. 
My horrific experience with anxiety was something I would never wish upon anyone. I could not understand why God was letting me face something so impossible---a veritable Mt. Everest; me without oxygen tanks. I learned then, with great assurance, that God was my oxygen. Without Him no battle can be won, no fight ever finished. 
After this battle was mainly overcome, I asked myself why it happened, what was the point...
As a nurse I found a great use for that terror which had enveloped my mind, body and (nearly) soul. I was able to tread in waters many nurses fear. Speaking to patients about their own terrors, tips on handling the fears of life. 
A reason for my suffering was found.

Think of the crucifixion. A harsh "calamity" indeed for Jesus, something we will never face, nor can understand, since He faced the punishment for all of our sins and was shunned from God's presence. Yet that calamity, powered by Satan through Judas Iscariot, was steered to a glorious finish by God. Consider:

Acts 2: ²³ This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men,^[d] put him to death by nailing him to the cross. ²⁴ But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him.

 Because of His holiness, the "calamity" that was planned was not able to truly happen. God was not defeated due to fact that death could not claim Him. (And for the reason He is God of all)
There is a reason for all of our sufferings. We may not see it until we reach Paradise. Whether the suffering changes us to better us for service to God, or whether it changes us so we can help our brothers, there is a reason. Stand firm with the Captain of Creation...for He alone will guide us safely through our hard times.  

Pruned

John 15:2New International Version (NIV)

2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful.

An apple tree has what is called water sprouts. Many branches take off from the main branches in a wild attempt to be the leader. This is draining to the tree's resources, and the fruit will be small. A good orchard manager cuts these off to force the tree to focus on making good fruit, not on making more water sprouts. In an even stranger action, the fruit is thinned later to make larger, more desirable apples

Every trial is a pruning session. At least that is what it has felt like to me. Every trial has been painful, some seemingly unbearably so. 

Much like pruning shears, saws or an out-and-out chainsaw, a painful scar is made. With time, from all about that scar, new abilities have been created. More patience, more joy, more skills. 

While I despise trials, and hate each one as I am in it...there are many things I am grateful to have learned, to try and use in my life this far. I am by no means perfect, or close to being perfect---i often feel the lowest of the low, the least of least. But those pruning sessions have been useful. 

Walk with God, lean on His strength. Pruning may be harsh, but to be the best servers of all, we need it. There are so many statements of His being with us if we are with Him...we do not need to take these hard things alone

. 

Little Wonder

Diamonds in the Dust. J.E. Tada

Little wonder the world cannot understand a Christian's faith. We have nothing, yet posses everything. We are sorrowful, yet we are able to rejoice.
Faith is what will enable us to see God as a God of love at work through hurt and hardships in our lives.

When life has hurt the most is when I have also felt most assured of God's love. During those times, I could feel His presence and love folding about me, never leaving me alone.
The hardest of times are, often, the times when we reach out to God the most, and are thus when we feel God closest. He is always there for us, but we may not always be there for Him.
We get so caught up in this world and it's gods that we forget what truly is of importance. The faith we hold in God overwhelms all others.
It is by that faith that we can have little, or no, world-wealth and be satisfied. It is by faith that we stand the world-sorrow and spout praise to and about God. How else could we withstand the horrors of the world with joy?
Consider those of other faiths, or those who have all they might want? Are they speaking with true joy, or a momentary madness of glee that comes from those things temporary?
With our faith, in what is truly true and good goodness, we can have joy that lasts and speaks through the hard times. We can relax even in the hardships by knowing God holds us closely.

RA Post: Something Positive

Back on Enbrel and methotrexate injections, week two.
I was really still quite sick last week. Over the weekend I was just asleep and out of it---really had a hard time processing people talking to me, everything was so ANNOYING. (You do not know annoying until you have RA/Firbo/PsA flare. I mean, people walking too loud, or the wind blowing is annoying. Really hard work to not be fuming mad at everything).
Monday I took Enbrel shot #2. By evening I felt pretty good--even went on a driving date with the hubby.
Tuesday I went and saw a dear friend and her two little girls.
Wednesday I overdid, as I went to see my sister, cleaned house and moved a little bit of stuff. Too much.
Thursday was dr appointment with primary. He was very happy that I looked and acted so much more alive. (had on nice clothes rather than tossing on something, makeup, and tied shoes.)
By Thursday evening, I was falling asleep...and now have been asleep for 24 hours, with a few wake up moments.

So, either shots have thinned out for the week (as can happen at first), or just overdid it. Or both.

It is nice to be more awake and alive. The first few days I felt like I did before I was RA +

RA Post: Around

Methotrexate and Enbrel seem to be kicking in again. I went for a drive with my husband randomly, and the next day I went and visited a dear friend. I even drove myself both ways. 
I hope to be able to be about even more as time goes by. Hoping still, too......that I could work a little bit as a home health nurse again. 

Glory to God

John 12:27-28New International Version (NIV)27 “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father,save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. 28 Father, glorify your name!” Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and will glorify it again." While this passage is most assuredly speaking of Christ while He considers the Future...I cannot help but see myself in this verse through my various trials. Indeed, do I not feel incredibly troubled and sickened at the thought of what I face now---the idea that I will have pain and physical destruction the rest of my life? Of course. My soul can be so troubled I cannot even find the words to describe it. Even in prayer to God I may be speechless on the terror and worries I feel.  I often have asked for a release from various trials and tribulations. I have gotten such things at times---one time in particular He released me from a suffering that was too great at the time, although I did have to fight that giant another year. I still feel blessed that he removed that trial for a time...nearly as if He said "enough", and let me get stronger in other ways. I do not think that God dislikes us asking that our burdens be removed, lessened, etc. I think it is the manner in which we ask.  If I take a problem to God with the attitude that if He does not lessen it I shall be belligerent towards my King, I fear it will not go over well. He is, after all, not a "tame" God, but so overwhelmingly good...and does indeed know that a spoiled child may not have all he wishes, necessarily. Hardships soften our hearts and souls...prepare us for other trials better. We learn to be better assistants to those about us in the Body and out...to be a better example of His love. If we ask for a reprieve from hardships with an honoring spirit, willing to continue with the trial as God wills, we will find and receive one thing for certain. We will have more strength and feel more love from God due to the openness of our spirit. We, at that moment, tell God that we are.not to be turned from Him. Regardless of what happens, we want to be by God's side, believe and trust in Him, follow His great plans. We say at that time He is our God, not that we are His god by an arrogant attitude. In this moment, I am a semi-well RA positive married woman without children who has many limitations. I can, however, bring honor and glory to God (in my feeble human way) in the midst of life by the way I chose to act towards others and God. I am here, on this earth, at this very moment to bring glory to God. What an incredible thing. Imagine that someday, after fighting the evils of the world, even those who died at birth, will be told by Him "Well done, my good and faithful servant." That one sentence has thrilled me beyond words for several years. I believe for more than 15years. The idea that anything I have fought while standing beside my King was noteworthy enough to be told such a sentence boggles my mind. He says it. To me. For fighting and struggling in a sinful world to be with God. A good and faithful servant. Indeed, He is worthy of such glory---glory beyond anything I could ever imagine to give.

A "tame" God

Ingrim, in his book 'God, as He longs you to see Him", mentions that we work on ways of demanding God keep us comfortable. A "tame" God.

When I read the paragraph that I mention above, I made this notation: "Would I really want a "tame God"? Someone who listened and answered completely my foolish ideas? What a terrible, horrible idea! I can't make good choices now, it I had a "tame God" to order around, I fear my world would be much much worse.

Indeed, though, we do look for ways of controlling God. Saying just the right thing in prayer. Doing just the right work at church or a missions food bank, being in a Bible study (not that those are not valuable!)...but we should not expect that because we did God a favor, He will necessarily do one back.  I know that there are miracles, I have heard them from people I do not think are merely "telling tales", and I know from personal experience God answers prayers. 
I read a book about cloistered nuns which was interesting. One nun in particular said that because they gave up so much, served God all of the time, their prayers were very important, because God seemed to owe them something for the service.

We need to consider, though, He has given us the biggest favor in the universe! Given us the chance to truly live, and to live in Paradise with Him on that last day that hits all of us. Nor does He leave us alone on this broken world to manage on our own. He is there, willing to lend us His strength, love, honor and joy. 
He does know what we face, and I am certain loves us all the more dearly for continuing to hold onto His being with every fibre of strength. 
Charles Swindol said that 'Satan and God often want the same things, but for different reason. Satan wanted the crucifixion for rebellion...God wanted it for redemption'.

Also...when has the genie in the bottle story panned out very well for the genie-owner? Would we really want a "genie" at our beck and call? I'd rather an "untame" God who knew all and was taking care of me regardless of situation.

I Will Bring You Back

"It is written in the Prophets: 'They will all be taught by God'. Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from Him comes to me." Jn 6.45

All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace. Is a 54.13

Consider for a moment the trials currently stealing for your time and energy. Now consider the trials long past, each one causing you to receive a "medal" for effort---how that trial has impacted your life for the better. What things did you learn about yourself? About others? About God, your Father?

Consider now, that as horrible as each trial may be, and as difficult as it is to fathom God allowing them...we are being actively taught by the God who created all about us. 
Every trial has offered us a choice between two paths along a great chasm. 
One path, we may see that God is with us evermore, and rush to His side, His Word, call for Him to lead us----or another path, we may abandon Him, thinking ourselves abandoned and sink into despair, determined to manage ourselves. 

Trials, tribulations, persecution: whichever you like to call difficulties in your walk of life, these are guaranteed to happen. After all, we chose such a life eons ago by picking a "new god"...We pick and choose our new gods out of suffering today. 
If we fall to despair, we have chosen the persecution as our golden god. The more we despair, the more we worship it. We may as well be bowing and chanting to our great god.

Let us not despair! For while I despair as much as anyone, let us remember that the "god" we worship in despair cannot help us, love us, protect us nor give us peace! The more we worship whatever false god we have chosen---disability, depression, money, status, children, etc---the more power we give it. The more we are drained, and the more it spreads toxins of disbelief about our minds and souls.

Our true God, the God who is so real as to cause "gnashing" of teeth today because of the hatred felt against the One true King, loves. Oh, He loves. Cry out to Him, open the Word with a full heart, and find wonder at what He will share and teach. Oh, He can give such peace in the most unbearable of times. Peace to look into the worst of news without flinching. Oh, He protects us, even if our minds lie and say He is not...our very soul is protected. We can banish the evil if the world, not face the torment of demons as those did before Christ.
He is real, and does not leave us alone in our battles. He said His yoke was light and easy...and it is. When we take on our battles alone, make that choice, we are alone. We are hitched to a double yoke alone. A yoke meant for two animals means one alone will have more load---and not only more load, but an uneven, shifting load. There was a reason pioneers dumped items from their wagons as cattle died. The animals remaining simply could not pull the load. 
Nor can we. We need the help of our Lord first and foremost. We need the help of others secondly. 

"For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back." Isa 54.7

Waiting With The View Of An Eagle

Secret Strength. J. E. Tada

...waiting on God gives us the kind of perspective that an eagle must have. Our surroundings come into focus. Our horizons are broadened. We see our place in the scheme of things.

I wait a lot. I wait for pain medications to work and make life bearable. I wait at doctor's offices. I wait for people to come home and be there for me. I wait to see if the RA medications are going to work at all. I wait to see if God might allow for my release from RA. 

Waiting is not as hard as it was...one, I am not overall as sick as I was although not the person I was 15 months ago either. Two, I would have to agree that waiting on the Lord is the only way to survive life with RA, and, as memory serves, life without RA. 

Joni states earlier in this paragraph that waiting on the Lord is not passive--not like waiting in line at the grocery store. Waiting on God is active. And that it is. 

If we are to truly my wait on God, we have put our hope and trust into His thoughts, wishes and strength. We have decided that whatever God allows is worth some great thing----even if we cannot or do not see it. We have told our Father that we will do as He says, and trust His care for us. We have this bond with Him during this waiting-trust that keeps us focused on Him, not what we face that makes us tremble in fear.

This waiting indeed fills us with strength and perseverance, for who can harm us and what can harm us when we are with God? My body may manage to destroy itself by attacking itself, but what is really me, my spirit, cannot be touched by anything due to my Salvation. 

Certainly the processes in life, whether emotional or physical traumas, are not pleasant. Our own dear Savior is well aware of that; more so, being abandoned by God on the cross, while we never really are abandoned. Yet this body is cursed from generations of sin. Imagine a time when we are never sick, injured, saddened, hurt by words or actions? Imagine the strength we might have? Marathons would likely last weeks. (Laughs)
So dwell on God. Wait on Him for the joys of spirit that He brings. It is worth the wait. 

RA Post: Back to the Future

Started my shots again. Oh, I am so glad to be killing off my immune system a bit rather than my immune system killing me off a bit! 
Funny...when I start the shots my joints start loosening up, and then my smaller joints in hands, feet and jaw start being glass shard-filled. However, if memory stands true, that goes away, and then I just have semi-normal joints!
Hoping to go visit people soon. Maybe even today. 

Couldn't Look Past

Secret Strength, J. E. Tada
He couldn't see past his disability.

While this quote spoke of a man so focused on his paralysis that he could not see God...It struck a different note for me.

I have decided that disabilities are not just those one gets a parking placard for, or receives funding for. No, disabilities are those things that keep us from seeing, seeking, loving God.
Indeed, one must focus on a sin or fault to an extent to battle it to submission; one cannot focus fully on it. 

When I was more heavily fighting terrible anxiety/depression, I could not dwell on the fact I was fighting. If I thought of the battle I was fighting, how far I had to go, and all the little set backs, the Monster became too great in my eyes. I could no longer reach for God. Instead, the Monster was fed, growing on a version of worship by awareness. 
Instead, I had to think of my disability as that moment. At that moment was I going to think about the fear that clutched my heart so badly I could not breathe? Or was I going to cry out to God, begging for help, and feel His answering presence of peace and strength? To see my Monster diminish to a manageable level that my Father and I would destroy? 
I face a new disability now. A physical one. Again, I must make the choice of whether I am going to focus on my disability with the likely years of pain/misery, and thus give it the power of my worship to become a god...or I can fight in the moment by choosing God's presence to battle my Monster alongside my Father. With the latter choice, although I may indeed face years of illness, I have already won and overcome with God giving me strength---not becoming cowed by my disability. Perhaps I will still be unable to do many things...but I destroyed a god which is surely worth much. 

Knowing and Letting

God: how He longs you to see Him

There's a difference between knowing God's attributes intellectually and letting them shape your life.
Zeph 3.17 The Lord your God is with you,    the Mighty Warrior who saves.He will take great delight in you;    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,    but will rejoice over you with singing 
I sensed His power, and it convinced me that He could bring complete resolution to the things pressing down on me...I could feel His absolute pleasure and delight in me---regardless of my performance. I was free to do what I could and simply trust Him for the rest.

Either we are eaten up with pride....and feel we can handle the world our little way, or we are despairing of ever managing. 
We are to love God. Then, by loving God, we will, assuming we listen to Him, do things as He would have us. We often overwhelm ourselves by attempting to do everything. The things we are doing may be honorable----but not required by God. 
I have believed for many years that what appears in our walk during life is what we likely have as a work for God. We merely do the best we can. Now, that is not to say a nagging calling is not worthwhile---no, indeed! That is assuredly as honorable as what those of us not called to foreign missions.
I am extremely limited at this point. I must believe that God is not disappointed in me, as physically I cannot do more than I do now. I have not had that feeling, due to other experiences faced...but I know that there is often that feeling in this or other situations of not making God proud. We must believe, and we must listen to what God tells us. Those two things are pleasing to God. 

Of Nerves and Men

I was reading Joni E. Tada's "Secret Strength" last night...and she relates the story of meeting a small boy who patted her leg and informed her she was merely not thinking hard enough. She assured him she very much wanted to move her leg, but that her want did not tell her leg to move. (Joni, if you recall, was paralyzed at the age of 17 by a diving accident in the 70s.)

Joni continues that we often live like this---God being the brain, we the hands and feet. If the lines of communication are not there, have been severed, we will not have nearly as good of communication. Our body of Christ in such cases, if you called the relationship between ourselves and Christ so, has a broken neck....we will like as not end up with a great many pressure ulcers from not getting signalled as we could have. 

Life is not perfect with a great communication line, a solid neck...we will still face trials. I can use a further natural science term and state that my neck, praise God, is intact, allowing me to move...yet I still have RA.I have a good neck, a good communication with my body, but still a trial of health. 
 With a good solid body, in a supernatural form, we will find a deeper connection with Him, permitting us to tap into His overpowering power and love, and stand the test. He is a great communicator, willing to be there at all times. We must speak with Him; listen to Him above all else. Surely the Creator of all, who faced more as a Man than ever we will, knows what to do. Be still. Know He is God. That single thing in the worst of moments is amazingly comforting. 

there is another benefit of a solid Christian neck. The wisdom of One beyond all wisdom. For example, we may move away from "stoves" as He warns us through our intact spinal system---- as the spinal system in our live bodies does when nearing a hot surface: danger! Our choice may not be wise. 

We can certainly ignore that bidding, but should not be surprised at being "burned" after touching the "stove". Nor should we be surprised when the longer we reach for "stoves", the seemingly less communication comes through our "body". After all...we picked our god by not avoiding the "stove". Just as we destroy nerves in our natural bodies to the point they do not serve us, thus can our supernatural nerves be destroyed by constant neglect. Thankfully, with God, we can be healed of the dead nerves of a dead faith when we are willing to go under major surgery...and give up the lustful sins and gods of our lives. When we are.willing to listen to the true Leader of our lives, we can then have functioning nerves. At least in the most important part of our lives...the life with Christ. 

Always Present, Always Involved

God, as He longs you to see Him.   Ingrim

I explored passage after passage in scripture describing a heavenly Father who not only loves me, but cares deeply about every little nuance of my life...He may not intervene the way I want Him to, but He's always present and involved.

I enjoy the Rick Riordan books. The teen aged book are retelling of the old Greek myths. Have you much knowledge of those myths? The Greek gods were really quite horrible. They may have "had" children with mortals or been interested in some random mortal...but they were really horrible...nothing I have found has been much assistance to anyone. There was no love. 
I'm not comparing God with those imagined beings, but it is interesting that they created these unloving, distant gods. 

We indeed have a God who is present. I very much am certain that He is with us every moment of every day. We need only look for Him. and yes, He does not intervene like we would always like. Neither do parents always let children do as they like, for their own protection. I cannot say how being nearly completely housebound with crippling RA--- problem with getting an infection----is something better than other things. I will however believe that God is with me, and will continue to help me bear it. I also will continue to ask I be relieved of my thorn in the flesh...although the answer may be no, as it was for Paul. And if anyone seemed like they should be relieved of a thorn, it would have been Paul. We must stand firm with God. 

Worth the Weight

Diamonds in the Dust. J.E. Tada

Is it worth taking up your cross, losing your life, and following the Lord?

Often times, I have noticed in my own and others' lives, we would rather not carry our cross. We fully intend to believe in and follow God...but without the rough, heavy, wooden weight of our cross. We, understandably, want life to be easy.
It is not until we have hit rock bottom---or nearly rock bottom---that we go back and pick up our dropped cross. We see then that leaving our cross on the ground is much more devastating to our existence than carrying it, we pick it up with somewhat less resentment.
We are expected to carry crosses alone, yet I would say it is not possible to carry one's cross alone. It was, after all, asked of a man to carry Jesus' cross. We should depend on God foremost to have His strength to assist us in carrying our struggles, but we should further depend on others for their experiences. No one's cross is exactly like someone else's...but we can still learn and use compassion, understanding, empathy and full support in the battles of life. 
We are not losing our lives to follow God...because before that we are already dead. We are alive because we follow God. It is so worthwhile to lean upon the grace of God and feel His loving presence. Without that, all is lost.

RA Post: Stiffness

I am going into my primary doctor tomorrow, as I want to double check that I no longer had a bladder infection. Assuming that all is well in that regard, I can start my RA shots again next Wednesday. I really want to be able to do that...as my stiffness and "dragging about because of tiredness" is getting worse.
I am not sure about methotrexate, but Enbrel can complete be "gone" in a month.