Medical Post: Remicade Week 0

This Monday will be the starting week, week zero, for Remicade infusions. Then I will go in week two, six and then every eight weeks unless ill with cold, infection. 
To be honest I have little hope that this will help me. Partially this is the pessimistic side of my personality. If a patient was going in, I would be sure it would work. Mayne that's why things don't help me much. But I used to think each new medication would help. I used to think each new diet would help. I used to think each new supplement would help. Really, I feel like all I do is throw my money down a rat hole, out a car window and into a garbage disposal. Nothing has helped me but probiotics a little and fishoil a little. Everything else makes it worse. Diets have done nothing for me except help with weight loss, of which I approve, but no noticeable energy change---and I base this on family reports, as they see changes more than I ever will. Herbal things just seem to do nothing. I even tried to use old remedies from the 1920s and 1864. No luck there. 
It is what it is. I read about the Greeks, thinking it was a stagnation of humors, and something that strangely affected the young, not the old. In 200 AD, a doctor wrote seven books on arthritis, discussing RA as an exhausting, fever ridden, 
aching joint with malformation. Not much treatment then. 

Let's face it. Telling the body, who missed filtering out self injuring cells, is just broken. I doubt we would ever cure everything. Thousands upon thousands upon millions of people have died of tuberculosis. We treat that now face the HIV plague. We have a coronavirus scaring everyone to death. Our bodies should work. The system should be perfect. But it is not, and perhaps until paradise there is no reason to think that we will manage near perfect health. Just maintaining peace within ourselves during these horrid illnesses, whatever they may be, are what we can do. Easier said than done. 

Health Update: Bringing In The Big Guns

I met my new rheumatologist on Thursday. She seems very nice. Very thorough. Competent. The nice is surprising. Moat specialista i have had to meet were very...stuck up, I guess you'd say. They probably often have to be. They are dealing with sicker people, worse comditions than a PCP. They have to make choices that are probably harder than those of a PCP. 
Perhaps not. Either way, it was nice to have a friendly doctor.
She wants me to start Remicade. Up to this point, I have had bigger guns than starting point DMARDs, I have been doing injections for some time. This one is an infusion. I will go at something like week zero,four and then every eight weeks--- assuming I am not facing a cold or what have you. 
I am a bit overwhelmed at the change in tactics. I am pleased she is so concerned with my eyesight, and the very real threat my autoimmune diseases are threatening the sight organs. It has been very stressful to have my eye doctor basically be the one who is distressed at my condition, and no one else caring. Everytime I went to a super eye doctor, my eyes would be calm. Therefore,I had no eye condition. It would be rather like telling a stable type one diabetic that she was cured because when the specialist saw her, her sugar counts were dead normal. Just stop taking that nasty insulin. Its bad for you to take it when you don't need it. Yeah, right,that's a stupid idea. 
Anyway, I am still floored by that. Disappointed too, because I had missed somehow that methotrexate was a requirement for taking this infuaion drug. I had thought that remicade could be taken and have children. Not with mtx. So I'd have to hope it worked wonders, and lasted as I stopped for at least three months and then managed to have a kid. So that is worrisome. 
At the moment it wouldn't matter anyway, because I am too tireed, in too much discomfort and too ill to take care of kids all the time. Even older kids are very tiring. 
Maybe it will be my wonder drug. Someone's kid has taken remicade for fifteen years,and has been doing very well. That's always hopeful. None of thw other medications have ever helped. 
It would be such a dream come true if it worked. I could do housework without feeling like an elephant wading in cement. I could do weightlifting without being punished for it. I could ride a bike, walk, drive a car without knowing it could make me very ill. I could work again, I could remind people I am still alive. I would be alive. It would be somewhat like coming back to life.
I don't really remember what it is like to be able to do stuff. It has been so long since i acted like a very tired normal person. I can't believe I ever drove thee hours myself for work. I can't believe I worked. Went to college. It is as if there is only now, the dead drudgery I see before me. Nothing else exists for people like me. 
So hopefully remicade works and is worth the effort.