A Deeper Look at John 7:1-9 NIV

1After this, Jesus went around in Galilee. He did not want ^a to go about in Judea because the Jewish leaders there were looking for a way to kill him. 2But when the Jewish Festival of Tabernacles was near, 3Jesus’ brothers said to him, “Leave Galilee and go to Judea, so that your disciples there may see the works you do. 4No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret. Since you are doing these things, show yourself to the world.” 5For even his own brothers did not believe in him.

6Therefore Jesus told them, “My time is not yet here; for you any time will do. 7The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that its works are evil. 8You go to the festival. I am not ^b going up to this festival, because my time has not yet fully come.” 9After he had said this, he stayed in Galilee. John 7.1-9 ( NIV)

Firstly, we will discuss what the Feast of Tabernacles is and why it is important during this time (and now). 

The Feast of Tabernacles (Sukkot) is generally in September or October in the Western Calendar and "is the seventh and last feast that the Lord commanded Israel to observe and one of the three feasts that Jews were to observe each year by going to “appear before the Lord your God in the place which He shall choose” (Deut 16.16)" ( GotQuestions )The Jewish calendar follows the moon cycles, so it affects the days of the year, and thus affects what day Tabernacles occurs. This festival lasts for a week (for original command, see Leviticus 23:1-33 NIV )usually occurring in late September to mid-October. The feast begins five days after the Day of Atonement and at the time the fall harvest had just been completed. It was a time of joyous celebration as the Israelites celebrated God’s continued provision for them in the current harvest and remembered His provision and protection during the 40 years in the wilderness. ( GotQuestions )
As time went on, this feast fell into disuse and wasn't celebrated correctly, until Nehemiah's time, when this was corrected (see Nehemiah 8:1-18 NIV for the story) 

By this time in history, the Jewish world saw the Oral Law, those added to assist with the true Law, but had become equal to the Law given by God. There was no difference, and the Law, already unachievable was ever more so. The Oral Law was even more punishable in its disobedience to some followers than the actual Scriptures. It was told to the People that not following the teachings of the Rabbis and the Oral Law was to cause the Shakinah glory to depart from Israel " the rabbis said, “My son, give my people words of the rabbis, then give them the words of the Torah.” In that same line of thinking, the rabbis taught that to study the Scriptures was neither good nor bad. But to study the Oral Law was a good habit that brought reward."(Mack )

To this point the Leaders and Christ had had confrontations about three things: fasting, keeping the Sabbath and now handwashing. ( Mack )

This Festival will be completed in the Messianic Kingdom, the Thousand Year reign of Christ on earth following the last of the Seven Years of Wrath (Tribulation), when all men will go up to Jerusalem from about the earth. It would be a time of intense interest to the People that Christ, the miracle worker, appear in Jerusalem at the Feast of Tabernacles, seen here in Zechariah 14. ( Mack)

¹⁶ Then the survivors from all the nations that have attacked Jerusalem will go up year after year to worship the King, the Lord Almighty, and to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles. ¹⁷ If any of the peoples of the earth do not go up to Jerusalem to worship the King, the Lord Almighty, they will have no rain. ¹⁸ If the Egyptian people do not go up and take part, they will have no rain. The Lord^[a] will bring on them the plague he inflicts on the nations that do not go up to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles. ¹⁹ This will be the punishment of Egypt and the punishment of all the nations that do not go up to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles.
²⁰ On that day holy to the Lord will be inscribed on the bells of the horses, and the cooking pots in the Lord’s house will be like the sacred bowls in front of the altar. ²¹ Every pot in Jerusalem and Judah will be holy to the Lord Almighty, and all who come to sacrifice will take some of the pots and cook in them. And on that day there will no longer be a Canaanite^[b] in the house of the Lord Almighty. Zechariah 14 ( NIV )

Christ's half-brothers met with Him and mocked Him, attempting to get Him to go to Jerusalem, which Christ did not wish to do, for it was not the time for Him to go in the open. His brothers saw Him only as someone who was wanting fame and the public eye, and were not as yet understanding the true meaning of His work. "Essentially, Jesus' brothers are telling Him to "take Your stuff to the big leagues. " They say, "If You really do have all this miracle power, why don't You go to Jerusalem and make Yourself really famous?"" ( BlueLetterBible )
Christ did not seek fame as they saw it, His work was one of salvation and healing of body, mind and soul--most importantly soul. Christ knew this was not His hour, the defining moment that would lead to the salvation of the wicked, sinful, and thoroughly imperfect people that make up our world. 
How disheartening, as well, that it is written that His brothers did not YET believe in Him. I've always wondered if that saddened Christ, as I have heard people speak to me with broken hearts when their families do not believe in them, do not think they can do something. 

"The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that its works are evil." John 7.7 
People are always furious, generally speaking, when told of their wickedness. When it is shown how dark our hearts really are, how all of our inclinations are wicked and terrible, greedy, selfish, cruel, or whatever descriptor you might list, people tend to hate whoever points those out. I am NOT. Everyone has a basically good heart. But we don't, and that is the major problem. We think such terrible things, and everyone has to admit it. We want what other people have, we lie, and the list goes on and on. 

The Word bursts our little bubble of "human" perfection; we think we are "good" because we haven't murdered someone, or we haven't done this or that. The Word, though, shows us how wrong we are in thinking we have "human" perfection. We are not 100% gold, we are not 100% titanium, we have so much dirt running through our metal, we need God, and our faith in Christ's death for us, to make us that 100% gold in the presence of God. We have to have God's level of perfection, and the only way is through Christ--we can't earn it, we can't keep up with the demands of perfection needed. We still should act in a manner honorable towards God, and work on acting better. 

My next post will show that Christ did go up to Jerusalem for the Feast of Tabernacles just not as a Celebrity, such as His brothers urged. 

Dark Clouds Gather 'Round Me; I have NOT Left You

I recently stumbled on an old country blue grass song, Wayfaring Stranger. I first heard it played by the Norwegian group Hayde Bluegrass Orchestra. I love the song. ( Hayde Bluegrass )

Part of the song has the following words:

"I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger
Traveling through this world below
There is no sickness, no toil, nor danger
In that bright land to which I go...

I know dark clouds will gather 'round me
I know my way is hard and steep
But beauteous fields arise before me
Where God's redeemed, their vigils keep…"

For the last year, more than a year, my life has been as dark as it has been in a long time. After facing the excruciating pain that I had with the bleeding ulcer, the despair of being told by medical provider after medical provider that there was nothing that could be done, there was no hope, no chance for a different life... This, much like today's coronavirus, was the "new normal", I was to accept that my life was agony, unrelenting agony. This, was my normal. I lost hope, all hope, as never before in my entire, albeit short, life.

Even after the ulcer was discovered, and my life got somewhat better, hope did not return. It was stolen from me. The constant mourning of not living the life that other women my age are living is very destructive.

This last week has been a dreadful week for me. I saw a cataract surgeon, to deal with the heavy cataract I have in one eye caused by the eye drops I have used to prevent the total destruction of my eyesight. The cataract is better than the retinal destruction that is a possibility from the disease processes I am dealing with.

However, the surgeon stated that, at my age, there is a normal fluid shift in the eye. The fluid near the retina "hardens" and pulls away from the retina, leading to a slightly increased "normal" retinal detachment risk. However, the removal of the natural lens means a removal of fluid, which could or could not pull even more on the retina, risking the detachment.
The idea that not doing the surgery means I could go blind by the cloudiness of the cataract, or go blind from retinal detachment floored me into shock. I was unable to even ask any questions of the surgeon that day, or indeed even discuss it with my family, which is not normal for me in my care.

I already am trying a new RA medication, and not certain whether it is a good match for me. I already feel that whatever choice I make is the wrong one, as it generally has been.

What little hope I had left flooded out of me that moment. Hopelessly hopeless, I cried in despair. I was giving up, figuring it didn't matter what I did, I would be blind, I would be miserable. The truth seemed all too clear.

Without knowing it, my mother asked for prayer from the church I attend when I feel well enough to try to go to church that night.

The next day, I spent in bed, sick from the medication, sick with hopelessness, sick with worry and fears. I waited to hear from the surgeon, who I called in confusion.

I was left alone for about 30 minutes while my family ran an errand. I was in the house, tears streaming down my face, feeling so useless, hopeless and depressed. Why bother with trying, when it doesn't matter? I try and try and things get no better, no easier. I'll go blind, have some other horrible thing happen to me. I am so sick of trying and nothing ever getting better or easier. 

I was suddenly half thinking that God had abandoned me, left me alone to face this dreadful world, the horrible health issues that keep piling on me with out lending me any strength or peace.

I suddenly felt this great, encircling presence, fully enveloping me---more so than any other experience of closeness I have had. Compassion, comfort, an embrace of kind emotions, a caress of God touched me. Calmness descended on me as if a cloak.
A thought flashed through my mind, the tone was not  one of disappointment, nor anger, nor shame or scolding, but of gentle compassion, peace, love and truth; a reminder. Hope itself flamed into a warm fire, warming the soul.

"I have NOT left you. You are not alone."

It has changed my life since that day. Hope itself has perhaps changed to a...great patience, unconcern over the issues in my life. The ability to think about handling the problems I face, and that they don't matter in the least.

What matters is holding on to the hand reaching out to you, to pull you back onto the racetrack. I keep telling God that I am so tired, but He keeps reminding me, "Yes, but only a few more yards to go."

I don't see the end of that race I am running. But at least I am not running it alone. God is running it with me, never letting go of my hand.

⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4 (  ESV ).

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deut 31 (  NIV )

Behold Israel---on CSN Radio, "Every Man Must Answer"

Click Here for Video

Amir was on CNS Radio speaking about the current events.

Health Update: Starting Remicade

Well, I wrote my new rheumatologist, who I DO like, though we haven't had more than one appointment in person. In this game, if you LIKE a doctor the FIRST visit, and it continues that way, you should count yourself LUCKY.

Many doctors end up with a "god" complex. I suspect that it is somewhat necessary to maintain sanity. If you think about it, all doctors are fully responsible for your health. They need to make right diagnoses, they need to choose the right medication for your disease and your other conditions....and face the thought that they might possibly cause the death of a patient. It might not even be the doctor's fault---I had many patients who were taking herbal things that do not mix well with modern medications. Believe it or not, medical providers need to know what vitamins, supplements and other remedies you use. St John's Wart for example mixes BADLY with many drugs, as well as many other herbal things.

Anyway, I wrote to my doctor. We are going to go ahead and start Remicade. I am less apprehensive about it than I was. I just...I dunno. I was really worried about taking it. Partially because I need to take methotrexate with this medication, and I thought, oh, great, even if I get well, I can't have kids. However, the doctor and I have a plan in case I respond well to Remicade, to do a different medication, so I could have children. At this point, it really doesn't matter.

Imagine, really, spending five and a half years basically being a child again yourself. Its awful facing the fact you need other people to do so much for you, help you get places.

Should I manage to go back into home health, or whatever nursing I might go back to, I sure will have a different view of medical care. Ignorant friends and family, ignorant medical providers, the insane stupid feeling one gets when needing help with stuff one has been doing on their own for ages. It would be maybe better if one was elderly---feel that you have had a life, it was expected. Being young makes it hard. However, I've learned not to belittle anyone's health struggle, and I am sure it not easy to be older and be ill, either.

Overall, reader, maranatha. Amen

Health Update: Reality Sets In Yet Again

Welcome to the World.

Not really....more like Bette Davis, the classic film star, saying: "Get ready, its going to be a bumpy ride".

My health updates used to be just "RA Update", but as you go along with these conditions, they tend to multiply.

Part of this is because the human embryo develops into three layers, ectoderm, mesoderm and endoderm. These three things then grow up and differentiate into more things---the stem cells of  an infant turn on and off certain dna markers to become a liver cell, an eye cell or a joint lining cell. Because of this, my body sees the joint cells and my eye cells as intruding enemies. Who knows what it will pick next.
I have had to use steroid eye drops for my anterior uveitis (aka, iritis). There is a LOT of confusion about this to other people. My eyes are nearly constantly being attacked, especially the iris, the colored part of the eye, and the muscles about it and the lens. As the iris contracts and dilates with its swollen, irritated self, it grinds at the white blood cells "fighting", causing more irritation. The squashed white blood cells burst, leaking contents about, the muscle cells erupt, dumping contents. These proteins floating about, will lead to a worsening of my eye condition. My light sensitivity is NOT worsened by my wearing dark glasses all the time. In fact, I have been ordered TO wear them, as not wearing them will guarantee a worsening of my conditions.

However, along with the dark glasses, I HAVE to use steroid eye drops. If I don't, I will go blind faster. The cell contents dumped will cause my eye outlets to be plugged, increasing eye pressure and crushing my retina/optic nerve, plus other damage done from crazed immune cells. If I use steroids, I can slow this, though the steroids "can" cause increased pressures---which I have had minor issues with. The steroids can also cause cataracts. My worst eye has had cataract for a while now.

The cataract is bad enough now that I need surgery---I cannot see clearly more than about 6 inches in front of me. It is better news that some things could be, and there is also a decreased chance of my facing glaucoma (increased eye pressure) after having the cataract surgery. No, I don't want it, but after facing the ideas that have terrified me overnight, I am glad that it is such a minor thing.

Again, dear reader, hold me in your prayers. My run in the race is as slow as crawling on the ground, bleeding and sore; my heart is weary, and my soul is tired.

Health Update: The Good Samaritan

I went to my eye doctor this last week for a one month's follow up on my OCT scans. This looks at my retina, the blood flow and the depths of the retinal tissue. Pretty cool device, actually. My eye doctor, who knows I am an RN and LOVE all things science-y and geeky, had me sit and look at my own scans. Really cool. Especially if it was someone else's scan.

My eye scan went from having a red triangle of thinning retinal tissue to a yellow area---best being green according to the machine.

It is so hard for me to face these eye things. So far in my little life, most of my nightmares have actually happened. Or are threatening to happen. I was always scared of having a chonic ailment because my sister had one when I was growing up. Evey symptom I have had since childhood has turned out to be a health problem. My inability to run, for example. Most of my childhood I could walk faster than I could run. I would be running for all I was worth, running through mud and waist deep water, and still be easily caught in a game of tag. The only thing I had in a game of tag was the ability to make quick turns--since I was barely moving. Randomly, though, I could actually run fast. I remember being 15 and being such a good runner that we almost went out for a track team at the high school. I remember thinking it was strange I could run so fast.

Then the eye things. When I walk into bright light, I get a moment to several minutes of stabbing pain. This is NOT caused by actual light sensitivity, but it caused by my swollen iris muscle being infiltrated by immune cells. The iris contracts and dilates to deal with light levels. When it does that, being swollen and full of cells that should not belong there, it grates as if sand was in the tissue. Instant pain. I had that rarely as a kid, like every few months. I would walk into the dark bathroom, flip the light on and WHEW! instant flash of pain.

I've had no RA or psoriatic arthritis treatment since the virus outbreak as the rheumatologist wanted people to not treat it if at all possible. So now I am in this holding place of not knowing whether to take treatment or not. Doubting it helps anyway...

It is what it is. I just wish it wasn't happening to me.

I figure I will lose my nursing license now. I just got a new three year license, and I need only 96 hours of "work". The problem is that my volunteer place closed down to the volunteer crowd. At the rate that this lockdown stuff is going, I am not sure I will have enough time when it comes back--if it ever does. It is really hard for me to make it anyway...and I just don't know if it matters anymore. And since I am such an unreliable volunteer anyway, no other place is going to take me. I feel so guilty about being unable to make it to the one place....
I wanted to keep my license so when I got "well" I would be able to go back to home health. Let's just face facts. I don't think I will ever be well enough to work again.

I am tired of trying all day every day, of being told by those who have no idea the non life I have that I should just try harder, of being forgotten by everyone. Of not being alive. Of being offered fake hope by everyone.

One thing is for certain. You learn quickly who will stand by you in illness...and who will abandon you by the side of the road to die. The Good Samaritan always struck me as a strange parable. But people really will leave you by the side of the road....

Maranatha anyway, and I am sorry that I haven't been able to write more uplifting stuff, or much bible study type things. I've been in a pretty dark hole, literally and figuratively for a long while now....and unless my eyes clear up to the point I can study again, I expect to remain in a dark hole. If you think of me at all...ask God to relieve my eyes at least so I can work on this blog as it is supposed to be. Not the darker side of chronic illness, but the lighter side of the darkness of chronic illness with God.

Health Update: Remicade is a No Show

The Remicade is a no show. My rheumatologist has basically banned any patient who will stand not taking their immune suppressants from taking them. That is fine for me.To be honest, none of the meds have helped me much, and with the other treatments I am using, I am well as I ever have been. Which still basically means I am fighting to stay sitting in a recliner rather than in bed, trying to go for a short walk (15 mins total in a day) and trying to do a little ultra light light weight weight lifting. No, it is NOT adequate workout levels for someone my age. I am well aware of that. But I don't know what else to do. If I push it, I will be sick in bed for three days to two weeks, which puts me at the start all over stage. I am tired of trying, beyond words, dear reader. So if you think of me, pray for strength. 
My eyes are still holding at doing better, taking light a bit better. It's a knife edge to walk. Too much light will end the good days and land me on a bad for however long. But any relief is wonderful. 
I think a lot about the life I used to have. I really honestly feel like I died. That woman that lived, that went to college and had all those dreams for her life died. I feel like her ghost, living in a shadow world (likely made more so by the darkness I dwell in) and keep hoping to find a way out, back into the light of the living. 
Never take healthy days for granted. The joint pain came in one night. One night I was fine, tired, the next day I could barely walk. I felt worse and worse the longer I tried to work, and gave up in less than a month because I felt so terrible I couldn't drive anymore--much less be a sharp nurse. Never forget it can be gone very quickly. Live your dreams, in the honor of God's house, to the fullest.

Advice From A Fear Suffering Auto Fear Mongerer on Fear

I am not one to be able to write on not fearing. I fear nearly everything. However, perhaps because of that, I am one of the best resources to write about fearing AND not fearing.
 Fear has greeted me and continues to greet me every day, as I wake from nightmares nearly crying. Fear greets me if I wake normally.
Fear is a black robed monster, sitting astride a black war horse. The horse is blown from the effort of running me down, turning at the end of the run, and coming back. Fear's drawn twin swords drip in blood from striking me again, and again, and again. The horse stands at the ready now, waiting for me to stagger to my feet again, to pick up my paltry, rusty single sword, and to ready for another attack. I am worn out from Fear's attack. "You have been sick--useless!--for nearly 6 years!" the Sword of Fear slashes across my back again. "You could go blind!" ..."You're next doctor's appointment will reveal a WORSE condition--and you will wonder why you dared COMPLAIN about your other "minor" issues."..."You will die alone, forgotten!"...(feel free to change these to whatever fear grips you).
All these slashes hit day after day, week after week, month after month, year...after year. On account of this, I am so very tired of dragging myself to the standing position, taking up my fighting stance again, and lose over and over again. I fear, how apropos, that I will not be able to stand at that battle station, and be trampled under Fear's horse. A sign will be erected:

"Here on this Spot Was Fought a Great Battle...Which, Like Most Great Battles, No One Even Noticed." 

The problem as a Fear-Fighter is that I don't have to be a Fear-Fighter. I won't step away from the battle field. My armor is bent, my helmet is gone now, my shoe has a rock in it. Why do I keep fighting? No one is in the stands, watching. No one is filming this great battle. No one even remembers that there was to be this great battle. 
Except One, who holds all time in His Hand.
I could step aside. Fear slaps his horse's bulging neck, laughing at me, as yet again I use my sword, in terrible technique, to stand again. The laugh is degrading, mocking. "Foolish one," he says to himself, "I will win; we both know it. You cannot live and fight like this. You will not have the strength, the power, the stamina---the BLOOD--to live to the end of this battle. You realize, don't you, that this battle lasts as long as your life lasts?" He laughs again, the horse shifting and causing the bits to rattle, the leather tack to squeak. 
Now, reader, my eye is swollen shut from the efforts. A night of nightmares that woke me at nearly screaming. A night of terror that when I wake, my vision will be gone. A night of terror, knowing that my condition could get worse...that I may never be a live person again; knowing I could be mostly alone, forgotten, the rest of my life. The Fear radiates off of me, feeding Fear to a larger being. The war horse becomes a dragon, blowing poisonous green flame. The rider, Fear, becomes a giant of insurmountable size. 
I shiver, now, reader, in exhaustion, stupidly thinking I must continue the fight. 
I try to straighten myself, trying to raise the sword to a fighting stance. 
A clinking noise sounds to my right, off the fighting field. A shuddering spasm runs through me, as I figure another Fear has joined in on the battle. 
I turn, and it is the Knight. The Knight that has been waiting off the field the entire time, the Knight that will take on Fear the moment I am willing to give up the battle, to ask for the assistance freely given. 
This Knight stands taller than myself, or indeed Fear, with delicate armor, made for show of wealth and power than for protection. The Knight does not need it, as well you would know. 
As stupidly as many of us say, "I am trying to do it myself."
We know it is stupid as we say that in our heads, in our subconscious. How well is it working, to do it myself? 
If I simply ask, step back from the fighting field, and allow that Knight to step on the field in front of me, in place of the battle....the battle stops. 
Fear, seeing  his Master, bows uncomfortably, shrinking in the presence of One so great. The dragon whimpers, becoming a shetland pony. Fear now stands on his own feet over the shetland pony. Fear bows several more times and leaves without a single word, never a single blow or movement being done by the Knight. 

So why do I still, like many of us (perhaps especially with the cornavirus COVID 19 scaring everyone so) continue to fight the fight alone?
It is our immortal battle to be our own little gods. We can do it, and we are sure that we can. We were sure we could generations ago, and we haven't given up yet.
It doesn't work very well, what with the drugs, alcohol, sex, and whatever it is that people are trying to do to comfort themselves in the misery that is this world. Perhaps, even, reader, you are one of those lucky few who have not experienced much fear before this pandemic. For the science and history minded person like myself, I know that pandemics and epidemics have happened many times--the Spanish Flu of 1918 ( CDC ) , which caused my grandmother's whole house to be bedridden but for my two year old grandmother. She was required to bring cups of water to her sickened family. There were many polio epidemics over the years, causing paralysis for many and killed thousands, causing terror for generations as well. (HealthLine )
Fear is a very real problem in this world and has been since sin decimated the world we live in to function as badly as it can without the Sun imploding.

God has many verses on fear, and not wanting us to fear. It can be easier said than done, certainly, as a champion--The main point that He makes with His comments on the subject of fear is that He is in control. The misery and horror we might face here really cannot DO anything to us, the real "us". There is more than meets the eye when we look at one another, or even ourselves in a mirror
Firstly what risk does Fear pose to our actual self, who we really are? Not much, all in all, if we are followers of Christ:
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be  for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul. Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done. Matt 16 (   NIV)
Basically, we have to give up our own little notion of being so wonderful, so god-like, and not follow our favored sinful behavior whatever than might be. As I say, give up our god-complex. We are not gods, and considering how little we can control our lives, it seems glaringly obvious that we are rather pathetic gods. The worst thing that can happen to us ever is losing our soul by refusing to let God be God and refusing to admit that we think bad thoughts whether we act on them or not. We are not perfect, and have not been so in a very, very long time. If we wait on having a perfect life in this world, we won't have it. Perhaps for a short period, but our best chance is to focus on the future we have.     

 38. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, no anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rom 8 ( NIV )

²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14 ( NIV )
While this verse is from a chapter dealing on the leaving of Christ from this earth until He calls us home--it applies that we should not fear anything in this world. It is easier said than done, as I well know. Fear is a powerful and sneaky emotion. We should not fear the things that are happening in this world.

28. When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift your heads, because your redemption is drawing near. Luke 21 ( NIV )

The end of the world is closer today than it was yesterday, much like each day in a pregnancy is further along than it was the day before. Each day forward is a day closer to a world that works properly.
Fear and Terror have become the passwords for life; populations and government scream peace, peace, peace--but I fear  (dreadful word choice) that such is not possible . This creates more fear and terror.

Fear is mainly based on suffering, either suffering in and of itself, however short lived, or suffering that leads to mortal death--the destruction of this imperfect body. For those of us assured, with the presence of the Comforter, who teaches us the Scripture as we study it,  we will face death but death has no sting now. Not with the covering of  Christ's sacrifice, for death is sin and sin is death. Since we have a covering of immortal level, a great gift from God, we haven't sin on our breath--not that we can sit back and allow the rot and filth of sin march around in our homes and hearts.

  53For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. 54When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” ^h

55“Where, O death, is your victory?

Where, O death, is your sting?” ⁱ

56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

58Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Cor 15 (NIV )  ( This whole chapter via link discusses this process very well, so I urge you to read it in full) 

This whole chapter, via link, discusses this process very well, so I urge you to read it in full)  
 Everyone should recall the comfort given us, by the Spirit, but also with the Word--and, further, by those who suffer alongside us. A battle, whatever it might be with, is easier with the help of one who fights the same, or who has fought and won. 
  
³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵ For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. ⁶ If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷ And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. 2 Cor 1 (  NIV )

Fear is a terrible opponent. I well know, but hopefully a few things I jotted down will help in calming the heart, soul and body of you, dear reader. And may He who reigns indeed come soon, maranatha, maranatha, AMEN. 

Health Update: Eye Think, Therefore Eye Am

I just saw my eye doctor for my every three month OCT exam and health check. The OCT is a retinal-optic channel test, and looks for disintegration. 
Up to this point we have been golden. I knew as I took the test, something was a bit off from the tech. I know these people pretty well...I know their hobbies, I know who is married, who has kids, who wants kids. And I am a skilled body language reader. 
I have some optic nerve thinning in the right eye. Admittedly this is "trace, trace, TRACE" to quote the doctor. It is so little that in a month I go back for a retest to make sure that this test is right. "Never trust a first test that is funny." He said, which is true. It is not very fear allaying, though, to someone who is terrified of going blind. 
Optic nerve thinning can be because of age, neurodegenerative diseases (MS and so on), injury or shock, drinking home made alcohol (yeah, since I won't drink store bought anyway that seems likely) and glaucoma (increased eye pressure). 
I have had to use quite a lot of high steroid use over the last three years. Thankfully, it has gone down a bit lately, the least it has been. This has allowed me to VERY slightly increase my light exposure, but not much. I can type for a little bit, maybe half an hour or so a day. I don't know how to make the "white" portions of websites and Word darker to not bother me. Any suggestions, send them my way--I've gotten rid of blue light and dimmed as far as I can go.
I am pretty upset about the eye issue. There are limited things that can be done for these things. It would be a little better if the worst eye was the one that had this nerve thinning. But no, it has cataracts which are making things fuzzy, and the "better" eye has a possible thinning optic nerve. 
I just don't know what to do anymore. If I listen to advice from others on medical choices, it will be the wrong choice. If I DON'T listen to medical advice of others, it is the wrong thing to do. I guess it just really doesn't matter. I wish I wasn't have eye issues. I've spent a lifetime afraid of going blind...and it is more of a reality all the time that I could. Pray for me.

Mimicry, Shadows and Mirrors Part I

Have you ever noticed the mimicry of Satan? The way he twists and turns things, attempting to be God, or be better than God? 
With the madness of today, with the spread of coronavirus making people feel terrified beyond all belief, it sounds so like a repeat of the plagues of Egypt. Locusts, wildfires, increases in earthquakes, wars and rumors of wars, disease and pestilence spreading like wildfires themselves. The wilder the world gets, somehow, the more I see a massive struggle from the men of this earth and, most likely, the fallen ones from heaven, to force a heaven like ruling state for themselves. 
It makes me think of the following passage:
 

¹² “How you have fallen from heaven, 

O ^[a]star of the morning, son of the dawn! You have been cut down to earth. You have weakened the nations!. 13 But you said in your heart 'I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God. And I will sit on the mount of assembly in the recesses of the north. 14 'I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.' Isaiah 14.12-14 ( NIV )

Here you see that Satan fell from heaven, but that his goal is to  get to heaven and overtake God--be himself like the Most High. One, the arrogance of this makes my skin shiver. Secondly, we can see it if we pay attention, the mimicry of Man and Serpent to be the Most High God.
 

I actually like the idea of Communism. If it worked, it would be wonderful. The problem is that we live in a wicked world. It doesn't seem possible to make a system with enough checks that  someone isn't going to take more than his fair share. It just happens. The recent examples of toilet paper hoarding, hand sanitizer hoarding, selling at price gouging prices, and NOT helping one's fellow man is a prime example.( Brothers buy 18,000 Bottles Hand Sanitizer to Sell on Amazon  ) Fear not, though, as help still remains in communities as well ( Visiting Nurses Foundation to switch to Food Delivery )

Communism is, I actually think, supposed to exist. The thing is, it cannot. We were told to share what we had with one another, though I fear, both in the Christian world and the World world, vipers lie in wait for the vulnerable. 
 

7John said to the crowds coming out to be baptized by him, “You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? 8Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. 9The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.”

10“What should we do then?” the crowd asked.

11John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.” Luke 3 ( NIV )

Because we live in the fallen world, the idea of socialism and communism is a Man and Demon idea to create Paradise WITHOUT having God be involved at all. "We can be our own gods", as was said at the Fall of Man itself, and repeated at the Tower of Babel:Here, the Fall of Man shows the woman herself changing the words of command that God actually given--the twisting of the words that we people all do to make the Word of God fit our "unique" understanding of Scripture:

² The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, ³ but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
⁴ “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. ⁵ “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Gen 3 ( NIV )

(The word "serpent" here shares a same root word with bronze--perhaps hinting towards his being called an angel of light, the "morning star" section of Isaiah. It is an intriguing anaology if you have ever been up before dawn. Sitting in the early morning chill, looking to the eastern horizon, one can see a morning star--a planet. It is very bright, the last standing star still seen. What happens as the sun rises over the horizon? The morning star vanishes, being replaced with the more powerful spatial body. This is a great analogy for the fact that Satan has a form of power and strength, but it is easily eclipsed by the power of God. ) ( GotQuestions ) 

Here is the true command given to man as found in the previous chapter:

¹⁶ And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; ¹⁷ but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” Gen 2 ( NIV)

 Next seen is the passage of the Tower of Babel:

3They said to one another, “Come, let us make bricks and burn them thoroughly.” And they used brick for stone, and they used tar for mortar. 4They said, “Come, let us build for ourselves a city, and a tower whose top will reach into heaven, and let us make for ourselves a name, otherwise we will be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth.”  Genesis 3 ( NIV )

Take a moment, reader, and consider the words spoken by the Men at the conception of the Tower of Babel...with the words spoken by the Great Serpent in Is 14.12-14.
Do you note some same words and phrases? 

13 But you said in your heart 'I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God. And I will sit on the mount of assembly in the recesses of the north. 14 'I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.' Isaiah 14.12-14


And this, again, from Genesis: 

They said, “Come, let us build for ourselves a city, and a tower whose top will reach into heaven, and let us make for ourselves a name, otherwise we will be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth."

They are mainly aiming for the same thing--to build something, be it a city, a nation or rebellion which will march itself up into the dwelling of the Most High, probably with the direct notion of becoming "God".

It is said among rabbinical teachers that part of the plan to ascend to Heaven, besides forcing entrance into the Paradise, was to attack the heavens with axes, draining it of water so that God could  not bring a Flood about again. There is thought that one group was aiming on climbing to the top of the tower should a flood come to escape the waters, and a second to use it as a shrine for a false god, while the third planned on bringing battle directly to God's door  (  Chabad ). However, this is NOT from the Word of God, so do not put any power in the idea beyond it being interesting.
 The fear of worldwide flooding continues to this day, as heard from terrified lips of the elite.

So why the drive by Man and the fallen angels to create, or force their way into Heaven? One, this is a rather terrible place to live. There is misery, sorrow, pain and illness, not to mention death itself. Two, those who do not like God, in fact HATE Him, cannot bear the fact that He reigns over all, and always will. It is infuriating, maddening. 
And yet, it is surprising, in a way, that Man and Serpent take such offense at having been a Creation that God loved.  They take offense at being servants of God, and give that up to be a slave to the world of sorrows and pain.

Jay Mack points out that, when Adam was placed in the Garden, he was commanded to work in it--but the word used for put means "to rest", and the word work was abad, meaning to serve. ( Mack ). To me, the idea of "resting" in a peaceful place and serving God sounds wonderful. If I had to dig a hole every single day (unlikely, I would think) in a place where I was never sick, never sad, lonely or dealing with all the chronic health conditions I have been collecting with hoarder like intentions, I would be thrilled. Sign me up now, today!
Basically in the Garden of Paradise, God commanded one thing---not to eat the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil."God’s first command to man concerned life and death, good and evil,... Adam was not to assume that because he was given authority over the earth that he was independent of God and exempt from His authority. The question was whether man, like Lucifer (Isaiah 14:12-15) would reject God’s right to rule and declare himself independent of God." ( Mack ) 
Man, too, decided instead to not allow God to reign. Unfortunately for the anti-God men and fallen ones, regardless of the number of times they refuse to honor Him, claiming instead to be gods themselves, God is still VERY much in full control. 
There is a joke that floats around the internet of a Roman Emperor, infuriated by the sinking of some ships, who declared war on Neptune. Supposedly, then, a group of Roman soldiers marched to the Mediterranean's shore, yelled in definance, and stabbed the water with spears. 
While funny, the joke is a great example of what it looks like for man and demons to not honor God. The arrogance of the Tower of Babel and the verses speaking of the fall of Satan are rather like the story of the Emperor of Rome taking on the world's oceans.   

Mimicry, Shadows and Mirrors PART II

Here is the second part of the Mimicry, Shadows and Mirrors post. We are looking at the fact that the fallen angels and man are each determined to create their own false Heaven here on earth...so that we can be our own god. How's that working? 


  In Ezekial, God speaks of Satan, and the status that he had help, much as the Isaiah 14 passage earlier speaks of the same thing.  
Ezekiel 28.14-18
“You were the anointed cherub who ^[a]covers,
And I placed you there.
You were on the holy mountain of God;
You walked in the midst of the stones of fire.
¹⁵ “You were blameless in your ways
From the day you were created
Until unrighteousness was found in you.
¹⁶ “By the abundance of your trade
^[b]You were internally filled with violence,
And you sinned;
Therefore I have cast you as profane
From the mountain of God.
And I have destroyed you, O ^[c]covering cherub,
From the midst of the stones of fire.
¹⁷ “Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty;
You corrupted your wisdom by reason of your splendor.
I cast you to the ground;
I put you before kings,
That they may see you.
¹⁸ “By the multitude of your iniquities,
In the unrighteousness of your trade
You profaned your sanctuaries.
Therefore I have brought fire from the midst of you;
It has consumed you,
And I have turned you to ashes on the earth
In the eyes of all who see you. ( BibleGateway )

Here was a creation who walked in the great Heaven of God, one of God's elite angels, yet he rebelled against God and was removed from the presence of God. 

Funny, isn't it? People generally have the idea that if they "live a good life" and avoid murdering people, they will "make it" into Heaven, or "earn" their way into Heaven. Yet I cannot say I have ever heard one person claim, even on ridiculous movies who claim "good" hearted people go to Heaven, that Satan will go to Heaven, so long as he is good hearted. Never have a I heard that "well, he only made the ONE mistake of wanting to be like God--and who wouldn't want to be like God? I'm sure that, after the whole Fall of Man thing, he stopped doing things, and will make it to heaven. After all, it is all about earning your way, having a good heart."  Or, equally saddening to me is the current ideology that "all paths lead to Heaven"...which they do not. 
But Man is certain that he holds the keys to his own salvation, that he can march into God's presence at the end of time. Never mind all the passages in the Old and New Testament that state otherwise.

  ⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14 (  NIV)

 Man was made in the image of God, a unique and, perhaps, honoring gift. We were to be the rulers, caretakers and such of the earth. 
 
 ²⁶ Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,^[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” Gen 2 ( NIV )

It wasn't enough to be made in the image of God. We wanted to be God, and in doing so, chose generations of misery and sorrow. We continue to think of ourselves as little gods. Admitting we are unkind, cruel and awful people takes a great deal of courage. The selfishness in our hearts is sometimes well hidden, but is often so obvious that it is startling. 

With the whole world in a state of despair, we try and create paradise...but rather like a house missing 90% of its foundation, we can never create paradise. It takes God to get closest to paradise here on earth. And it will take the completion of evil's final death gasp at the end of the Millennial Kingdom for us to fully reach Paradise.  
***Watch this great Amir Tsarfati episode to understand the Millennial Kingdom, if you are confused about when, where and how the Kingdom comes to pass: Behold Israel)

**Then please read the passage from Revelations 20 to make sure I don't have a mistake--- ( Rev 20 NIV ) 

I think we all somehow feel something is missing in this world...we hear the descriptions of Paradise in Genesis, and we read of the Millennial Kingdom when Jesus stands as King of the World in Jerusalem, and it sounds so good to believing ears. This is why I saw that Communism and Socialism really could work...but only under the reign of Christ. At the end of those Thousand Years, though, Satan goes out to create another war on God. Another attempt at making little gods of everyone. 
 

For those waiting for Christ to gather us to Him, though, remember these words in this hard life--and scary time for many.

 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. 2 My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."
John 14 ( NIV ).

Life is very awful here, and I will be the first to say so. But someday it will all end, and end well. Unlike our lives here, or the books we read, nothing ends "happily ever after" without God being in control--which He is. We will walk under the banner of the Most High God, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. His prophecies given us are always right and true, and always come to pass. Look for yourself at the prophecies on Christ's first arrival--and they all have come to pass! That is statistically impossible. I say, trust the King of All over the wanna-bes. Maranatha, oh my King! Maranatha!