25 Jesus did many other things as well.
If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole
world would not have room for the books that would be written.
John 21.25
Oh my. I have read this before, of course, but unless you read and read and read and read the Word, pieces slip from your mind.
Can you imagine what other miracles and wonders Jesus must have done while here on Earth? While alive (pre crucifixion and post) He did incredible things---the ones we know about. I am so curious about what we do not know about.
I also add that He does so much in each of our own lives. Maybe not an out-and-out miracle, although I have had experiences and prayers answered that I would call a miracle, but there are many things He does.
He is there at all hours, ready to comfort and lend strength. He provides salvation to creatures who likely do not deserve it at all. He does small and large things in our lives in so many places.
I would love to read everything He has done. Even if it took all eternity.
Rheumatoid Awareness
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Killing a King
C.S. Lewis: "Our natural experiences are like pencilled lines on flat paper. If our natural experiences vanish in the risen life, they will vanish only as pencil lines vanish from the real landscape; not as a candle flame that is put out but as a candle flame which becomes invisible because someone has pulled up the blind, thrown open the shutters, and let in the blaze of the risen sun."From then on, Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jews kept shouting, "If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar. Anyone who claims to be a king opposes Caesar." Jn 19.12
But they shouted, "Take him away! Take him away! Crucify him!"
"Shall I crucify your king?" Pilate asked.
"We shall have no king but Caesar," the chief priests answered. Jn 19.15
Our lives are but a glimmer, a glimpse of what real life would be, and I suspect, will be. There is a book series I enjoy that is similar to the Narnia series in that a second world can be visited. And in this world, our look-alikes are called glimpses. The world is also saddened and broken, but is incredibly remade at the end of the series.
While the quote of C.S. Lewis does not exactly fit with the verses I shared from tonight's Bible reading...I was struck dumb by them and must share them.
The quote makes me think how insignificant, in the great scheme of things, my world currently is. All that is truly important is my King, and the world He will provide for me (and you) when the time is right...when the rooms and places are ready, the last person who would be saved before the appointed time is saved (as I have thought)...then we will be gathered up in a great procession, the greatest bridal procession ever imagined. The lines of sorrow on the flat paper of our lives will be suddenly minimized as the world explodes with light, glory and wonder...our bodies changed (I always wonder if we have better senses then, or if we are super strong...) never to age nor weaken. No sorrow, and all of our tears wiped away by the most loving of Kings who ever lived, live or would live.
I read the crucifixion story with horrified excitement. Pilate especially fascinates me, as he tried numerous times to escape this situation, and to release Jesus. I often have wondered how he handled the things that happened at crucifixion. The sudden darkness, tearing of the temple curtains, etc.
I think too, how interesting it is about the "king" discussions which the verses show examples of. It is mentioned in the 19th chapter of John that Pilate was "even more afraid". I do think that he felt this was no normal situation, and no normal man.
In the Old Testament, if you recall, the Israelites began to demand a human king; up to that point God Himself had been their (or our, if you consider we are "adopted" Jews) King. They wanted to be like all the other people who had human kings. Ok. He allowed and chose a king to lead the people. At times this was a good thing, and at times disaster.
Now, here is a king, a King in human form, who would, is and will be the most perfect King who could be. He is even of the line of David. Yet the Jews demand His death, and pick instead a king who did not even believe in God.
All of this had to happen. Because it happened, I have a King today. I have a King who listens to my heart-felt cries in the middle of the night. I have a King who is compassionate and slow to anger. I have a King who died the most horrible death that death will ever see so that I and He might be one.
"I have made you known to them and I will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them." Jn 17.26
Monday, December 28, 2015
In the Perfect Time
(NIV) Acts 17.26 26 From
one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole
earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the
boundaries of their lands.
For other versions click here
If He set the stars, planets, moons, comets and microscopic dust in the reaches of space in a certain place and to move at a certain time and speed...and we are born in a certain time, a certain place and about certain people, how perrfectly perfect it is that we are here.
I have often thought that I seemed out of place with the world. What humors others often does not amuse me, what interests me is often not a mainstream interest. I feel I do not belong, but obviously by this verse I am meant to be in this time frame, speaking to the people I meet and know, walking (shall we say limping?) the walk I walk.
Perhaps the feeling of not belonging in the world for those of us of the faith is due to that verse of our not belonging to this world. We only love the world if we are of it. We are meant to live with God...and when our faith is real, we belong less to the world than we did before. This is a good thing, considering that the world we live in is a shattered simile to that which we do belong. I would consider that those who refuse to have faith and also feel that feeling of unsettling detachment to the world feel it because of the gaping hole they refuse to fill. We need God. We know that this place we call home is not right.
So if we are here, now, why are we here and now? What is so great about this special time-frame?
I take from the opening verse, as a comfort, that as I am placed in the world in this time with these people...that I must also fight the fights I fight, take on the illnesses given me, and continue, in the best manner possible, to honor God, to love those about me...and if any way possible, continue to be the servant towards others.
We should consider that we are all here at this time for a reason. I think that sometimes we look for too deep of a reason, and that that searching hinders our reason. Not all of us are pastors of churches. Not all of us publish books that set fire to the land. That may not be our calling; that is not wrong. One knows if one is being called towards one form of service or another. I have had people who are of great, unmentionable worth to me because of the kind words, notes and prayers sent towards me. While they have not, perhaps, reached someone's heart in Asia, they have indeed made a difference in my life.
Words are extraordinarily powerful. After all, the Son of God is called the Word---and God created all that is about us with Words. I tend to think that we are all here, in whatever time-frame, for a couple of things. We should first and foremost love and honor God. We should show others the love of God by our actions and lives, and conversations as often as we can. The best way to show love, for me...has always been by words.
For other versions click here
If He set the stars, planets, moons, comets and microscopic dust in the reaches of space in a certain place and to move at a certain time and speed...and we are born in a certain time, a certain place and about certain people, how perrfectly perfect it is that we are here.
I have often thought that I seemed out of place with the world. What humors others often does not amuse me, what interests me is often not a mainstream interest. I feel I do not belong, but obviously by this verse I am meant to be in this time frame, speaking to the people I meet and know, walking (shall we say limping?) the walk I walk.
Perhaps the feeling of not belonging in the world for those of us of the faith is due to that verse of our not belonging to this world. We only love the world if we are of it. We are meant to live with God...and when our faith is real, we belong less to the world than we did before. This is a good thing, considering that the world we live in is a shattered simile to that which we do belong. I would consider that those who refuse to have faith and also feel that feeling of unsettling detachment to the world feel it because of the gaping hole they refuse to fill. We need God. We know that this place we call home is not right.
So if we are here, now, why are we here and now? What is so great about this special time-frame?
I take from the opening verse, as a comfort, that as I am placed in the world in this time with these people...that I must also fight the fights I fight, take on the illnesses given me, and continue, in the best manner possible, to honor God, to love those about me...and if any way possible, continue to be the servant towards others.
We should consider that we are all here at this time for a reason. I think that sometimes we look for too deep of a reason, and that that searching hinders our reason. Not all of us are pastors of churches. Not all of us publish books that set fire to the land. That may not be our calling; that is not wrong. One knows if one is being called towards one form of service or another. I have had people who are of great, unmentionable worth to me because of the kind words, notes and prayers sent towards me. While they have not, perhaps, reached someone's heart in Asia, they have indeed made a difference in my life.
Words are extraordinarily powerful. After all, the Son of God is called the Word---and God created all that is about us with Words. I tend to think that we are all here, in whatever time-frame, for a couple of things. We should first and foremost love and honor God. We should show others the love of God by our actions and lives, and conversations as often as we can. The best way to show love, for me...has always been by words.
Walking
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
Psalm 23.4
Diamonds in the Dust. J.E. Tada
I'm particularly fond of the 4th verse. Even though I walk through....the psalmist doesn't focus his attention on the dark valleys, and he's not distracted by the shadows. The dark valley is a place to go through, not a place to stay in.
RA Post: Christmas
Apologies on the lack of posts. Working on trying to get one up on Bible study finds.
Not been very well. Managed to do little Christmas things
Not been very well. Managed to do little Christmas things
Friday, December 25, 2015
Of Even More Certainty
I have begun a new project to attempt to add to my current Bible studies. I am writing down the book of John, and using the references noted on my Kindle's Bible, also writing down those verses.
I have to say that this venture will use a lot of paper and ink...but I also have to say that the little I have done is an incredible insight into how the whole Bible points to Christ.
My only regret is that the references do not dig into the Old Testament as much as I would like. However, it is a start.
I would highly recommend such a venture. Even one verse out of a favorite book with it's references have some pretty amazing finds.
I have to say that this venture will use a lot of paper and ink...but I also have to say that the little I have done is an incredible insight into how the whole Bible points to Christ.
My only regret is that the references do not dig into the Old Testament as much as I would like. However, it is a start.
I would highly recommend such a venture. Even one verse out of a favorite book with it's references have some pretty amazing finds.
Thursday, December 24, 2015
RA Post: Hard Day
Some days are just harder. Limitations are more noticeable. Today I was half ok in the early morning, took a mid morning nap, was up again for a short while, and then, naturally, began to feel worse. And today was a day travel was needed to see my favorite in-laws. I tried...but felt so awful by the time we got there...
We all have our limitations.
We all have our limitations.
Wednesday, December 23, 2015
RA Post: Pure Stupidity
I just out and out did too much. I am "sort of" ok now, but I really have been asleep for the last week. I think a week. I really don't know.
So. Hanging on, doing a little bit better.
So. Hanging on, doing a little bit better.
Steering the Ship
Diamonds in the Dust. J.E. Tada
It has always bothered me if those about me say God has sent whatever trial or hardship. While I think that He allows it---from what I understand in my Bible reading---I would be more inclined to think the opening sentence is true. God steers the "calamity" boat.
My horrific experience with anxiety was something I would never wish upon anyone. I could not understand why God was letting me face something so impossible---a veritable Mt. Everest; me without oxygen tanks. I learned then, with great assurance, that God was my oxygen. Without Him no battle can be won, no fight ever finished.
After this battle was mainly overcome, I asked myself why it happened, what was the point...
As a nurse I found a great use for that terror which had enveloped my mind, body and (nearly) soul. I was able to tread in waters many nurses fear. Speaking to patients about their own terrors, tips on handling the fears of life.
A reason for my suffering was found.
Think of the crucifixion. A harsh "calamity" indeed for Jesus, something we will never face, nor can understand, since He faced the punishment for all of our sins and was shunned from God's presence. Yet that calamity, powered by Satan through Judas Iscariot, was steered to a glorious finish by God. Consider:
There is a reason for all of our sufferings. We may not see it until we reach Paradise. Whether the suffering changes us to better us for service to God, or whether it changes us so we can help our brothers, there is a reason. Stand firm with the Captain of Creation...for He alone will guide us safely through our hard times.
Someone once said that Satan may power the ship of calamity, but God steers it to serve His own purpose....we have His promise [of] Rom 8.28.
The Lord is never forced into a corner. The Lord is never backed into a wall. "Suffering is...an opportunity to experience evil and change it into good." Saul Bellow
It has always bothered me if those about me say God has sent whatever trial or hardship. While I think that He allows it---from what I understand in my Bible reading---I would be more inclined to think the opening sentence is true. God steers the "calamity" boat.
My horrific experience with anxiety was something I would never wish upon anyone. I could not understand why God was letting me face something so impossible---a veritable Mt. Everest; me without oxygen tanks. I learned then, with great assurance, that God was my oxygen. Without Him no battle can be won, no fight ever finished.
After this battle was mainly overcome, I asked myself why it happened, what was the point...
As a nurse I found a great use for that terror which had enveloped my mind, body and (nearly) soul. I was able to tread in waters many nurses fear. Speaking to patients about their own terrors, tips on handling the fears of life.
A reason for my suffering was found.
Think of the crucifixion. A harsh "calamity" indeed for Jesus, something we will never face, nor can understand, since He faced the punishment for all of our sins and was shunned from God's presence. Yet that calamity, powered by Satan through Judas Iscariot, was steered to a glorious finish by God. Consider:
Acts 2: 23 This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men,[d] put him to death by nailing him to the cross. 24 But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him.Because of His holiness, the "calamity" that was planned was not able to truly happen. God was not defeated due to fact that death could not claim Him. (And for the reason He is God of all)
There is a reason for all of our sufferings. We may not see it until we reach Paradise. Whether the suffering changes us to better us for service to God, or whether it changes us so we can help our brothers, there is a reason. Stand firm with the Captain of Creation...for He alone will guide us safely through our hard times.
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Pruned
John 15:2New International Version (NIV)
2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful.
An apple tree has what is called water sprouts. Many branches take off from the main branches in a wild attempt to be the leader. This is draining to the tree's resources, and the fruit will be small. A good orchard manager cuts these off to force the tree to focus on making good fruit, not on making more water sprouts. In an even stranger action, the fruit is thinned later to make larger, more desirable apples
Every trial is a pruning session. At least that is what it has felt like to me. Every trial has been painful, some seemingly unbearably so.
Much like pruning shears, saws or an out-and-out chainsaw, a painful scar is made. With time, from all about that scar, new abilities have been created. More patience, more joy, more skills.
While I despise trials, and hate each one as I am in it...there are many things I am grateful to have learned, to try and use in my life this far. I am by no means perfect, or close to being perfect---i often feel the lowest of the low, the least of least. But those pruning sessions have been useful.
Walk with God, lean on His strength. Pruning may be harsh, but to be the best servers of all, we need it. There are so many statements of His being with us if we are with Him...we do not need to take these hard things alone
.
Little Wonder
Diamonds in the Dust. J.E. Tada
Little wonder the world cannot understand a Christian's faith. We have nothing, yet posses everything. We are sorrowful, yet we are able to rejoice.
Faith is what will enable us to see God as a God of love at work through hurt and hardships in our lives.
When life has hurt the most is when I have also felt most assured of God's love. During those times, I could feel His presence and love folding about me, never leaving me alone.
The hardest of times are, often, the times when we reach out to God the most, and are thus when we feel God closest. He is always there for us, but we may not always be there for Him.
We get so caught up in this world and it's gods that we forget what truly is of importance. The faith we hold in God overwhelms all others.
It is by that faith that we can have little, or no, world-wealth and be satisfied. It is by faith that we stand the world-sorrow and spout praise to and about God. How else could we withstand the horrors of the world with joy?
Consider those of other faiths, or those who have all they might want? Are they speaking with true joy, or a momentary madness of glee that comes from those things temporary?
With our faith, in what is truly true and good goodness, we can have joy that lasts and speaks through the hard times. We can relax even in the hardships by knowing God holds us closely.
Little wonder the world cannot understand a Christian's faith. We have nothing, yet posses everything. We are sorrowful, yet we are able to rejoice.
Faith is what will enable us to see God as a God of love at work through hurt and hardships in our lives.
When life has hurt the most is when I have also felt most assured of God's love. During those times, I could feel His presence and love folding about me, never leaving me alone.
The hardest of times are, often, the times when we reach out to God the most, and are thus when we feel God closest. He is always there for us, but we may not always be there for Him.
We get so caught up in this world and it's gods that we forget what truly is of importance. The faith we hold in God overwhelms all others.
It is by that faith that we can have little, or no, world-wealth and be satisfied. It is by faith that we stand the world-sorrow and spout praise to and about God. How else could we withstand the horrors of the world with joy?
Consider those of other faiths, or those who have all they might want? Are they speaking with true joy, or a momentary madness of glee that comes from those things temporary?
With our faith, in what is truly true and good goodness, we can have joy that lasts and speaks through the hard times. We can relax even in the hardships by knowing God holds us closely.
Friday, December 18, 2015
RA Post: Something Positive
Back on Enbrel and methotrexate injections, week two.
I was really still quite sick last week. Over the weekend I was just asleep and out of it---really had a hard time processing people talking to me, everything was so ANNOYING. (You do not know annoying until you have RA/Firbo/PsA flare. I mean, people walking too loud, or the wind blowing is annoying. Really hard work to not be fuming mad at everything).
Monday I took Enbrel shot #2. By evening I felt pretty good--even went on a driving date with the hubby.
Tuesday I went and saw a dear friend and her two little girls.
Wednesday I overdid, as I went to see my sister, cleaned house and moved a little bit of stuff. Too much.
Thursday was dr appointment with primary. He was very happy that I looked and acted so much more alive. (had on nice clothes rather than tossing on something, makeup, and tied shoes.)
By Thursday evening, I was falling asleep...and now have been asleep for 24 hours, with a few wake up moments.
So, either shots have thinned out for the week (as can happen at first), or just overdid it. Or both.
It is nice to be more awake and alive. The first few days I felt like I did before I was RA +
I was really still quite sick last week. Over the weekend I was just asleep and out of it---really had a hard time processing people talking to me, everything was so ANNOYING. (You do not know annoying until you have RA/Firbo/PsA flare. I mean, people walking too loud, or the wind blowing is annoying. Really hard work to not be fuming mad at everything).
Monday I took Enbrel shot #2. By evening I felt pretty good--even went on a driving date with the hubby.
Tuesday I went and saw a dear friend and her two little girls.
Wednesday I overdid, as I went to see my sister, cleaned house and moved a little bit of stuff. Too much.
Thursday was dr appointment with primary. He was very happy that I looked and acted so much more alive. (had on nice clothes rather than tossing on something, makeup, and tied shoes.)
By Thursday evening, I was falling asleep...and now have been asleep for 24 hours, with a few wake up moments.
So, either shots have thinned out for the week (as can happen at first), or just overdid it. Or both.
It is nice to be more awake and alive. The first few days I felt like I did before I was RA +
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
RA Post: Around
Methotrexate and Enbrel seem to be kicking in again. I went for a drive with my husband randomly, and the next day I went and visited a dear friend. I even drove myself both ways.
I hope to be able to be about even more as time goes by. Hoping still, too......that I could work a little bit as a home health nurse again.
I hope to be able to be about even more as time goes by. Hoping still, too......that I could work a little bit as a home health nurse again.
Monday, December 14, 2015
A "tame" God
Ingrim, in his book 'God, as He longs you to see Him", mentions that we work on ways of demanding God keep us comfortable. A "tame" God.
When I read the paragraph that I mention above, I made this notation: "Would I really want a "tame God"? Someone who listened and answered completely my foolish ideas? What a terrible, horrible idea! I can't make good choices now, it I had a "tame God" to order around, I fear my world would be much much worse.
Indeed, though, we do look for ways of controlling God. Saying just the right thing in prayer. Doing just the right work at church or a missions food bank, being in a Bible study (not that those are not valuable!)...but we should not expect that because we did God a favor, He will necessarily do one back. I know that there are miracles, I have heard them from people I do not think are merely "telling tales", and I know from personal experience God answers prayers.
I read a book about cloistered nuns which was interesting. One nun in particular said that because they gave up so much, served God all of the time, their prayers were very important, because God seemed to owe them something for the service.
We need to consider, though, He has given us the biggest favor in the universe! Given us the chance to truly live, and to live in Paradise with Him on that last day that hits all of us. Nor does He leave us alone on this broken world to manage on our own. He is there, willing to lend us His strength, love, honor and joy.
He does know what we face, and I am certain loves us all the more dearly for continuing to hold onto His being with every fibre of strength.
Charles Swindol said that 'Satan and God often want the same things, but for different reason. Satan wanted the crucifixion for rebellion...God wanted it for redemption'.
Also...when has the genie in the bottle story panned out very well for the genie-owner? Would we really want a "genie" at our beck and call? I'd rather an "untame" God who knew all and was taking care of me regardless of situation.
When I read the paragraph that I mention above, I made this notation: "Would I really want a "tame God"? Someone who listened and answered completely my foolish ideas? What a terrible, horrible idea! I can't make good choices now, it I had a "tame God" to order around, I fear my world would be much much worse.
Indeed, though, we do look for ways of controlling God. Saying just the right thing in prayer. Doing just the right work at church or a missions food bank, being in a Bible study (not that those are not valuable!)...but we should not expect that because we did God a favor, He will necessarily do one back. I know that there are miracles, I have heard them from people I do not think are merely "telling tales", and I know from personal experience God answers prayers.
I read a book about cloistered nuns which was interesting. One nun in particular said that because they gave up so much, served God all of the time, their prayers were very important, because God seemed to owe them something for the service.
We need to consider, though, He has given us the biggest favor in the universe! Given us the chance to truly live, and to live in Paradise with Him on that last day that hits all of us. Nor does He leave us alone on this broken world to manage on our own. He is there, willing to lend us His strength, love, honor and joy.
He does know what we face, and I am certain loves us all the more dearly for continuing to hold onto His being with every fibre of strength.
Charles Swindol said that 'Satan and God often want the same things, but for different reason. Satan wanted the crucifixion for rebellion...God wanted it for redemption'.
Also...when has the genie in the bottle story panned out very well for the genie-owner? Would we really want a "genie" at our beck and call? I'd rather an "untame" God who knew all and was taking care of me regardless of situation.
Saturday, December 12, 2015
I Will Bring You Back
"It is written in the Prophets: 'They will all be taught by God'. Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from Him comes to me." Jn 6.45
All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace. Is a 54.13
Consider for a moment the trials currently stealing for your time and energy. Now consider the trials long past, each one causing you to receive a "medal" for effort---how that trial has impacted your life for the better. What things did you learn about yourself? About others? About God, your Father?
Consider now, that as horrible as each trial may be, and as difficult as it is to fathom God allowing them...we are being actively taught by the God who created all about us.
Every trial has offered us a choice between two paths along a great chasm.
One path, we may see that God is with us evermore, and rush to His side, His Word, call for Him to lead us----or another path, we may abandon Him, thinking ourselves abandoned and sink into despair, determined to manage ourselves.
Trials, tribulations, persecution: whichever you like to call difficulties in your walk of life, these are guaranteed to happen. After all, we chose such a life eons ago by picking a "new god"...We pick and choose our new gods out of suffering today.
If we fall to despair, we have chosen the persecution as our golden god. The more we despair, the more we worship it. We may as well be bowing and chanting to our great god.
Let us not despair! For while I despair as much as anyone, let us remember that the "god" we worship in despair cannot help us, love us, protect us nor give us peace! The more we worship whatever false god we have chosen---disability, depression, money, status, children, etc---the more power we give it. The more we are drained, and the more it spreads toxins of disbelief about our minds and souls.
Our true God, the God who is so real as to cause "gnashing" of teeth today because of the hatred felt against the One true King, loves. Oh, He loves. Cry out to Him, open the Word with a full heart, and find wonder at what He will share and teach. Oh, He can give such peace in the most unbearable of times. Peace to look into the worst of news without flinching. Oh, He protects us, even if our minds lie and say He is not...our very soul is protected. We can banish the evil if the world, not face the torment of demons as those did before Christ.
He is real, and does not leave us alone in our battles. He said His yoke was light and easy...and it is. When we take on our battles alone, make that choice, we are alone. We are hitched to a double yoke alone. A yoke meant for two animals means one alone will have more load---and not only more load, but an uneven, shifting load. There was a reason pioneers dumped items from their wagons as cattle died. The animals remaining simply could not pull the load.
Nor can we. We need the help of our Lord first and foremost. We need the help of others secondly.
"For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back." Isa 54.7
All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace. Is a 54.13
Consider for a moment the trials currently stealing for your time and energy. Now consider the trials long past, each one causing you to receive a "medal" for effort---how that trial has impacted your life for the better. What things did you learn about yourself? About others? About God, your Father?
Consider now, that as horrible as each trial may be, and as difficult as it is to fathom God allowing them...we are being actively taught by the God who created all about us.
Every trial has offered us a choice between two paths along a great chasm.
One path, we may see that God is with us evermore, and rush to His side, His Word, call for Him to lead us----or another path, we may abandon Him, thinking ourselves abandoned and sink into despair, determined to manage ourselves.
Trials, tribulations, persecution: whichever you like to call difficulties in your walk of life, these are guaranteed to happen. After all, we chose such a life eons ago by picking a "new god"...We pick and choose our new gods out of suffering today.
If we fall to despair, we have chosen the persecution as our golden god. The more we despair, the more we worship it. We may as well be bowing and chanting to our great god.
Let us not despair! For while I despair as much as anyone, let us remember that the "god" we worship in despair cannot help us, love us, protect us nor give us peace! The more we worship whatever false god we have chosen---disability, depression, money, status, children, etc---the more power we give it. The more we are drained, and the more it spreads toxins of disbelief about our minds and souls.
Our true God, the God who is so real as to cause "gnashing" of teeth today because of the hatred felt against the One true King, loves. Oh, He loves. Cry out to Him, open the Word with a full heart, and find wonder at what He will share and teach. Oh, He can give such peace in the most unbearable of times. Peace to look into the worst of news without flinching. Oh, He protects us, even if our minds lie and say He is not...our very soul is protected. We can banish the evil if the world, not face the torment of demons as those did before Christ.
He is real, and does not leave us alone in our battles. He said His yoke was light and easy...and it is. When we take on our battles alone, make that choice, we are alone. We are hitched to a double yoke alone. A yoke meant for two animals means one alone will have more load---and not only more load, but an uneven, shifting load. There was a reason pioneers dumped items from their wagons as cattle died. The animals remaining simply could not pull the load.
Nor can we. We need the help of our Lord first and foremost. We need the help of others secondly.
"For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back." Isa 54.7
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Waiting With The View Of An Eagle
Secret Strength. J. E. Tada
...waiting on God gives us the kind of perspective that an eagle must have. Our surroundings come into focus. Our horizons are broadened. We see our place in the scheme of things.
I wait a lot. I wait for pain medications to work and make life bearable. I wait at doctor's offices. I wait for people to come home and be there for me. I wait to see if the RA medications are going to work at all. I wait to see if God might allow for my release from RA.
Waiting is not as hard as it was...one, I am not overall as sick as I was although not the person I was 15 months ago either. Two, I would have to agree that waiting on the Lord is the only way to survive life with RA, and, as memory serves, life without RA.
Joni states earlier in this paragraph that waiting on the Lord is not passive--not like waiting in line at the grocery store. Waiting on God is active. And that it is.
If we are to truly my wait on God, we have put our hope and trust into His thoughts, wishes and strength. We have decided that whatever God allows is worth some great thing----even if we cannot or do not see it. We have told our Father that we will do as He says, and trust His care for us. We have this bond with Him during this waiting-trust that keeps us focused on Him, not what we face that makes us tremble in fear.
This waiting indeed fills us with strength and perseverance, for who can harm us and what can harm us when we are with God? My body may manage to destroy itself by attacking itself, but what is really me, my spirit, cannot be touched by anything due to my Salvation.
Certainly the processes in life, whether emotional or physical traumas, are not pleasant. Our own dear Savior is well aware of that; more so, being abandoned by God on the cross, while we never really are abandoned. Yet this body is cursed from generations of sin. Imagine a time when we are never sick, injured, saddened, hurt by words or actions? Imagine the strength we might have? Marathons would likely last weeks. (Laughs)
So dwell on God. Wait on Him for the joys of spirit that He brings. It is worth the wait.
...waiting on God gives us the kind of perspective that an eagle must have. Our surroundings come into focus. Our horizons are broadened. We see our place in the scheme of things.
I wait a lot. I wait for pain medications to work and make life bearable. I wait at doctor's offices. I wait for people to come home and be there for me. I wait to see if the RA medications are going to work at all. I wait to see if God might allow for my release from RA.
Waiting is not as hard as it was...one, I am not overall as sick as I was although not the person I was 15 months ago either. Two, I would have to agree that waiting on the Lord is the only way to survive life with RA, and, as memory serves, life without RA.
Joni states earlier in this paragraph that waiting on the Lord is not passive--not like waiting in line at the grocery store. Waiting on God is active. And that it is.
If we are to truly my wait on God, we have put our hope and trust into His thoughts, wishes and strength. We have decided that whatever God allows is worth some great thing----even if we cannot or do not see it. We have told our Father that we will do as He says, and trust His care for us. We have this bond with Him during this waiting-trust that keeps us focused on Him, not what we face that makes us tremble in fear.
This waiting indeed fills us with strength and perseverance, for who can harm us and what can harm us when we are with God? My body may manage to destroy itself by attacking itself, but what is really me, my spirit, cannot be touched by anything due to my Salvation.
Certainly the processes in life, whether emotional or physical traumas, are not pleasant. Our own dear Savior is well aware of that; more so, being abandoned by God on the cross, while we never really are abandoned. Yet this body is cursed from generations of sin. Imagine a time when we are never sick, injured, saddened, hurt by words or actions? Imagine the strength we might have? Marathons would likely last weeks. (Laughs)
So dwell on God. Wait on Him for the joys of spirit that He brings. It is worth the wait.
RA Post: Back to the Future
Started my shots again. Oh, I am so glad to be killing off my immune system a bit rather than my immune system killing me off a bit!
Funny...when I start the shots my joints start loosening up, and then my smaller joints in hands, feet and jaw start being glass shard-filled. However, if memory stands true, that goes away, and then I just have semi-normal joints!
Hoping to go visit people soon. Maybe even today.
Funny...when I start the shots my joints start loosening up, and then my smaller joints in hands, feet and jaw start being glass shard-filled. However, if memory stands true, that goes away, and then I just have semi-normal joints!
Hoping to go visit people soon. Maybe even today.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Couldn't Look Past
Secret Strength, J. E. Tada
He couldn't see past his disability.
While this quote spoke of a man so focused on his paralysis that he could not see God...It struck a different note for me.
I have decided that disabilities are not just those one gets a parking placard for, or receives funding for. No, disabilities are those things that keep us from seeing, seeking, loving God.
Indeed, one must focus on a sin or fault to an extent to battle it to submission; one cannot focus fully on it.
When I was more heavily fighting terrible anxiety/depression, I could not dwell on the fact I was fighting. If I thought of the battle I was fighting, how far I had to go, and all the little set backs, the Monster became too great in my eyes. I could no longer reach for God. Instead, the Monster was fed, growing on a version of worship by awareness.
Instead, I had to think of my disability as that moment. At that moment was I going to think about the fear that clutched my heart so badly I could not breathe? Or was I going to cry out to God, begging for help, and feel His answering presence of peace and strength? To see my Monster diminish to a manageable level that my Father and I would destroy?
I face a new disability now. A physical one. Again, I must make the choice of whether I am going to focus on my disability with the likely years of pain/misery, and thus give it the power of my worship to become a god...or I can fight in the moment by choosing God's presence to battle my Monster alongside my Father. With the latter choice, although I may indeed face years of illness, I have already won and overcome with God giving me strength---not becoming cowed by my disability. Perhaps I will still be unable to do many things...but I destroyed a god which is surely worth much.
Monday, December 7, 2015
Knowing and Letting
God: how He longs you to see Him
Either we are eaten up with pride....and feel we can handle the world our little way, or we are despairing of ever managing.
We are to love God. Then, by loving God, we will, assuming we listen to Him, do things as He would have us. We often overwhelm ourselves by attempting to do everything. The things we are doing may be honorable----but not required by God.
I have believed for many years that what appears in our walk during life is what we likely have as a work for God. We merely do the best we can. Now, that is not to say a nagging calling is not worthwhile---no, indeed! That is assuredly as honorable as what those of us not called to foreign missions.
I am extremely limited at this point. I must believe that God is not disappointed in me, as physically I cannot do more than I do now. I have not had that feeling, due to other experiences faced...but I know that there is often that feeling in this or other situations of not making God proud. We must believe, and we must listen to what God tells us. Those two things are pleasing to God.
There's a difference between knowing God's attributes intellectually and letting them shape your life.
Zeph 3.17 The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing
I sensed His power, and it convinced me that He could bring complete resolution to the things pressing down on me...I could feel His absolute pleasure and delight in me---regardless of my performance. I was free to do what I could and simply trust Him for the rest.
Either we are eaten up with pride....and feel we can handle the world our little way, or we are despairing of ever managing.
We are to love God. Then, by loving God, we will, assuming we listen to Him, do things as He would have us. We often overwhelm ourselves by attempting to do everything. The things we are doing may be honorable----but not required by God.
I have believed for many years that what appears in our walk during life is what we likely have as a work for God. We merely do the best we can. Now, that is not to say a nagging calling is not worthwhile---no, indeed! That is assuredly as honorable as what those of us not called to foreign missions.
I am extremely limited at this point. I must believe that God is not disappointed in me, as physically I cannot do more than I do now. I have not had that feeling, due to other experiences faced...but I know that there is often that feeling in this or other situations of not making God proud. We must believe, and we must listen to what God tells us. Those two things are pleasing to God.
Saturday, December 5, 2015
Of Nerves and Men
I was reading Joni E. Tada's "Secret Strength" last night...and she relates the story of meeting a small boy who patted her leg and informed her she was merely not thinking hard enough. She assured him she very much wanted to move her leg, but that her want did not tell her leg to move. (Joni, if you recall, was paralyzed at the age of 17 by a diving accident in the 70s.)
Joni continues that we often live like this---God being the brain, we the hands and feet. If the lines of communication are not there, have been severed, we will not have nearly as good of communication. Our body of Christ in such cases, if you called the relationship between ourselves and Christ so, has a broken neck....we will like as not end up with a great many pressure ulcers from not getting signalled as we could have.
Life is not perfect with a great communication line, a solid neck...we will still face trials. I can use a further natural science term and state that my neck, praise God, is intact, allowing me to move...yet I still have RA.I have a good neck, a good communication with my body, but still a trial of health.
With a good solid body, in a supernatural form, we will find a deeper connection with Him, permitting us to tap into His overpowering power and love, and stand the test. He is a great communicator, willing to be there at all times. We must speak with Him; listen to Him above all else. Surely the Creator of all, who faced more as a Man than ever we will, knows what to do. Be still. Know He is God. That single thing in the worst of moments is amazingly comforting.
there is another benefit of a solid Christian neck. The wisdom of One beyond all wisdom. For example, we may move away from "stoves" as He warns us through our intact spinal system---- as the spinal system in our live bodies does when nearing a hot surface: danger! Our choice may not be wise.
We can certainly ignore that bidding, but should not be surprised at being "burned" after touching the "stove". Nor should we be surprised when the longer we reach for "stoves", the seemingly less communication comes through our "body". After all...we picked our god by not avoiding the "stove". Just as we destroy nerves in our natural bodies to the point they do not serve us, thus can our supernatural nerves be destroyed by constant neglect. Thankfully, with God, we can be healed of the dead nerves of a dead faith when we are willing to go under major surgery...and give up the lustful sins and gods of our lives. When we are.willing to listen to the true Leader of our lives, we can then have functioning nerves. At least in the most important part of our lives...the life with Christ.
Joni continues that we often live like this---God being the brain, we the hands and feet. If the lines of communication are not there, have been severed, we will not have nearly as good of communication. Our body of Christ in such cases, if you called the relationship between ourselves and Christ so, has a broken neck....we will like as not end up with a great many pressure ulcers from not getting signalled as we could have.
Life is not perfect with a great communication line, a solid neck...we will still face trials. I can use a further natural science term and state that my neck, praise God, is intact, allowing me to move...yet I still have RA.I have a good neck, a good communication with my body, but still a trial of health.
With a good solid body, in a supernatural form, we will find a deeper connection with Him, permitting us to tap into His overpowering power and love, and stand the test. He is a great communicator, willing to be there at all times. We must speak with Him; listen to Him above all else. Surely the Creator of all, who faced more as a Man than ever we will, knows what to do. Be still. Know He is God. That single thing in the worst of moments is amazingly comforting.
there is another benefit of a solid Christian neck. The wisdom of One beyond all wisdom. For example, we may move away from "stoves" as He warns us through our intact spinal system---- as the spinal system in our live bodies does when nearing a hot surface: danger! Our choice may not be wise.
We can certainly ignore that bidding, but should not be surprised at being "burned" after touching the "stove". Nor should we be surprised when the longer we reach for "stoves", the seemingly less communication comes through our "body". After all...we picked our god by not avoiding the "stove". Just as we destroy nerves in our natural bodies to the point they do not serve us, thus can our supernatural nerves be destroyed by constant neglect. Thankfully, with God, we can be healed of the dead nerves of a dead faith when we are willing to go under major surgery...and give up the lustful sins and gods of our lives. When we are.willing to listen to the true Leader of our lives, we can then have functioning nerves. At least in the most important part of our lives...the life with Christ.
Friday, December 4, 2015
Always Present, Always Involved
God, as He longs you to see Him. Ingrim
I explored passage after passage in scripture describing a heavenly Father who not only loves me, but cares deeply about every little nuance of my life...He may not intervene the way I want Him to, but He's always present and involved.
I enjoy the Rick Riordan books. The teen aged book are retelling of the old Greek myths. Have you much knowledge of those myths? The Greek gods were really quite horrible. They may have "had" children with mortals or been interested in some random mortal...but they were really horrible...nothing I have found has been much assistance to anyone. There was no love.
I'm not comparing God with those imagined beings, but it is interesting that they created these unloving, distant gods.
We indeed have a God who is present. I very much am certain that He is with us every moment of every day. We need only look for Him. and yes, He does not intervene like we would always like. Neither do parents always let children do as they like, for their own protection. I cannot say how being nearly completely housebound with crippling RA--- problem with getting an infection----is something better than other things. I will however believe that God is with me, and will continue to help me bear it. I also will continue to ask I be relieved of my thorn in the flesh...although the answer may be no, as it was for Paul. And if anyone seemed like they should be relieved of a thorn, it would have been Paul. We must stand firm with God.
I explored passage after passage in scripture describing a heavenly Father who not only loves me, but cares deeply about every little nuance of my life...He may not intervene the way I want Him to, but He's always present and involved.
I enjoy the Rick Riordan books. The teen aged book are retelling of the old Greek myths. Have you much knowledge of those myths? The Greek gods were really quite horrible. They may have "had" children with mortals or been interested in some random mortal...but they were really horrible...nothing I have found has been much assistance to anyone. There was no love.
I'm not comparing God with those imagined beings, but it is interesting that they created these unloving, distant gods.
We indeed have a God who is present. I very much am certain that He is with us every moment of every day. We need only look for Him. and yes, He does not intervene like we would always like. Neither do parents always let children do as they like, for their own protection. I cannot say how being nearly completely housebound with crippling RA--- problem with getting an infection----is something better than other things. I will however believe that God is with me, and will continue to help me bear it. I also will continue to ask I be relieved of my thorn in the flesh...although the answer may be no, as it was for Paul. And if anyone seemed like they should be relieved of a thorn, it would have been Paul. We must stand firm with God.
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Worth the Weight
Diamonds in the Dust. J.E. Tada
It is not until we have hit rock bottom---or nearly rock bottom---that we go back and pick up our dropped cross. We see then that leaving our cross on the ground is much more devastating to our existence than carrying it, we pick it up with somewhat less resentment.
We are expected to carry crosses alone, yet I would say it is not possible to carry one's cross alone. It was, after all, asked of a man to carry Jesus' cross. We should depend on God foremost to have His strength to assist us in carrying our struggles, but we should further depend on others for their experiences. No one's cross is exactly like someone else's...but we can still learn and use compassion, understanding, empathy and full support in the battles of life.
We are not losing our lives to follow God...because before that we are already dead. We are alive because we follow God. It is so worthwhile to lean upon the grace of God and feel His loving presence. Without that, all is lost.
Is it worth taking up your cross, losing your life, and following the Lord?Often times, I have noticed in my own and others' lives, we would rather not carry our cross. We fully intend to believe in and follow God...but without the rough, heavy, wooden weight of our cross. We, understandably, want life to be easy.
It is not until we have hit rock bottom---or nearly rock bottom---that we go back and pick up our dropped cross. We see then that leaving our cross on the ground is much more devastating to our existence than carrying it, we pick it up with somewhat less resentment.
We are expected to carry crosses alone, yet I would say it is not possible to carry one's cross alone. It was, after all, asked of a man to carry Jesus' cross. We should depend on God foremost to have His strength to assist us in carrying our struggles, but we should further depend on others for their experiences. No one's cross is exactly like someone else's...but we can still learn and use compassion, understanding, empathy and full support in the battles of life.
We are not losing our lives to follow God...because before that we are already dead. We are alive because we follow God. It is so worthwhile to lean upon the grace of God and feel His loving presence. Without that, all is lost.
RA Post: Stiffness
I am going into my primary doctor tomorrow, as I want to double check that I no longer had a bladder infection. Assuming that all is well in that regard, I can start my RA shots again next Wednesday. I really want to be able to do that...as my stiffness and "dragging about because of tiredness" is getting worse.
I am not sure about methotrexate, but Enbrel can complete be "gone" in a month.
I am not sure about methotrexate, but Enbrel can complete be "gone" in a month.
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Harder and More Impossible Than Before
Bible Ethics---Oswald Chambers
I was stunned and thrilled to find this in my book. I had always thought that His statement of fulfilling the law did not, as He said, abolish the law. I have often heard that verse half used and out of context...to state that we do not have to do anything. We are merely forgiven; our only task is to love one another and God. And, I do agree that that is a summation of the Law, I do not think that it thus negates the Law to non-existence. What He said, He meant.
While I do not think that anyone could ever (besides Christ Himself) manage to achieve half of the laws, I do think that this more stringent look is true. We cannot control our thoughts. We misjudge someone at the grocery checkout, and think badly of them---it could be considered sinful that I was unsure of the doctor's office receptionist.
If we are not merely supposed to control our actions, but our very thoughts and imagination, what a mess we truly are in the silent recesses of our minds. Among the dirtiest and nastiest things, I imagine, if all of our cross thoughts were lined up from our normal to "bad" days. I would hate to have to read my own list...
The Spirit is indeed a Counselor---with His help, if we listen, we can been turned away from some thoughts, and have the assistance needed to attempt to not think things we should not. It is, however, extraordinarily easy to ignore the nudgings of the Spirit and continue onward in our spiral of sinful thinking. The more we ignore and tell God we know what we are doing, that what we are doing is not "hurting" anyone----but ourselves and God---the easier it is to continue to do so, and with more frequency. I always have loved the Shakespearean line: Oh, what fools these Mortals be. We ever continue to tell ourselves that we are rightful in our actions and thought...
Let us therefore strive with God's help to be silently holier; to think and imagine less evil and to dwell more on His being.
If the "Oughts" of the Old Testament were difficult to obey, Our Lord's teaching is unfathomably more difficult...Jesus Christ does not simply say "Thou shalt not do certain things," He demands that we have such a condition of heart that we never even think of doing them, every thought and imagination of heart is to be unblamable in the sight of God....The purity God demands is impossible unless we are re-made from within.
I was stunned and thrilled to find this in my book. I had always thought that His statement of fulfilling the law did not, as He said, abolish the law. I have often heard that verse half used and out of context...to state that we do not have to do anything. We are merely forgiven; our only task is to love one another and God. And, I do agree that that is a summation of the Law, I do not think that it thus negates the Law to non-existence. What He said, He meant.
While I do not think that anyone could ever (besides Christ Himself) manage to achieve half of the laws, I do think that this more stringent look is true. We cannot control our thoughts. We misjudge someone at the grocery checkout, and think badly of them---it could be considered sinful that I was unsure of the doctor's office receptionist.
If we are not merely supposed to control our actions, but our very thoughts and imagination, what a mess we truly are in the silent recesses of our minds. Among the dirtiest and nastiest things, I imagine, if all of our cross thoughts were lined up from our normal to "bad" days. I would hate to have to read my own list...
The Spirit is indeed a Counselor---with His help, if we listen, we can been turned away from some thoughts, and have the assistance needed to attempt to not think things we should not. It is, however, extraordinarily easy to ignore the nudgings of the Spirit and continue onward in our spiral of sinful thinking. The more we ignore and tell God we know what we are doing, that what we are doing is not "hurting" anyone----but ourselves and God---the easier it is to continue to do so, and with more frequency. I always have loved the Shakespearean line: Oh, what fools these Mortals be. We ever continue to tell ourselves that we are rightful in our actions and thought...
Let us therefore strive with God's help to be silently holier; to think and imagine less evil and to dwell more on His being.
Saturday, November 28, 2015
RA Post: Oh, sure, why not?
Apparently I decided that over the holiday was a good time to get a bladder infection. I tried the whole cranberry juice (extract in pill form, as I had some) and Vitamin C to the hilt. No go.
So this AM I decided to stop waiting to see my primary, and go to the local walk-in.
Oh, my aching shod feet. Two hours sitting just in the waiting room. Ironically, more than half the people in there were there for the same reason I was. Still not really sure what took so long...
Now I get to argue with somebody, as well. The receptionist was DEAD SURE I still have three hundred and some cents to go before my deductible. Maybe as a group, but my individual was met months ago---haven't paid a single dime for any dr appointments nor medication. Even today's antibiotics did not cost me. I did not want to stand and argue with the receptionist...because quite frankly I was concerned she would put me further down the list to be seen. I don't usually think that of people, but she was a bit hot about that topic. I imagine she gets "yelled" at a lot; so I will deal from it from my end.
So here's to antibiotics. Here's to having to stop all my RA treatments until infection free. Hope that it stay amiably quiet for the next holiday run.
So this AM I decided to stop waiting to see my primary, and go to the local walk-in.
Oh, my aching shod feet. Two hours sitting just in the waiting room. Ironically, more than half the people in there were there for the same reason I was. Still not really sure what took so long...
Now I get to argue with somebody, as well. The receptionist was DEAD SURE I still have three hundred and some cents to go before my deductible. Maybe as a group, but my individual was met months ago---haven't paid a single dime for any dr appointments nor medication. Even today's antibiotics did not cost me. I did not want to stand and argue with the receptionist...because quite frankly I was concerned she would put me further down the list to be seen. I don't usually think that of people, but she was a bit hot about that topic. I imagine she gets "yelled" at a lot; so I will deal from it from my end.
So here's to antibiotics. Here's to having to stop all my RA treatments until infection free. Hope that it stay amiably quiet for the next holiday run.
Friday, November 27, 2015
RA Post: Thanksgiving
Pretty good Thanksgiving---actually was well enough (praise God!) to go to my MIL's house for a lovely time of food, talk and laughter.
Oh, I was so pleased to have gone. I am quite tired today, and have sore feet. I should have kicked my shoes off. Apparently.
Still had a marvelous time. I can't believe that I actually made it. I have not made it that far to visit in a year and some.
Oh, I was so pleased to have gone. I am quite tired today, and have sore feet. I should have kicked my shoes off. Apparently.
Still had a marvelous time. I can't believe that I actually made it. I have not made it that far to visit in a year and some.
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Puppy Post: Day One
Well, we have schnauzers in the house---mini schnauzers. Have for about two years. We had bred Mom's dog, Gracie, and last night was spent in doggie obstetrics. We have one live puppy; the litter was two, with one being dead. It is quite common to have one or more deceased in a litter of pups.
Gracie did not appreciate this activity in the least, and told us so.
The puppy is a dark brown female with white markings. Stronger and eating well.
Gracie did not appreciate this activity in the least, and told us so.
The puppy is a dark brown female with white markings. Stronger and eating well.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
What I Believe vs What I Think...And How That Changes
God: as He longs for you. Ingrim
The more time passed, I came to think that fear was a fear of respect. Surely the Creator was deserving of respect, a reverence, honor. I began to realize that my trying to be afraid of God was not perhaps what was wanted, but the similar fear I might have for a parent, or some other adult authority figure---a much more higher being.
Since my attempted reverent fear was gone, I was able to then see more and more how God loved me, how He was there for me, even in the littlest of things. I realized one day that I did indeed love God, and how vastly different my relationship was. It is again different, and again many other ways and times. Ever growing.
The more time we spend with God, the Word, the more we find and learning about Him. This further changes how we think and believe some things, and continues to change in us. It is wonderful for us to grow in God, to have a deeper relationship with Him.
What you think about God shapes your whole relationship with Him. What you believe God thinks about you determines how close you will grow toward Him.I remember being a child, one who grew up in church and Sunday school, who saw her parents and sisters doing God-related lifestyle choices. God was real, God was important. I was puzzled immensely by the order to fear God, as many verses say...and I was ridden with guilt because I didn't know if I loved God. I believed in Him, most certainly....but those other things bothered and confused me.
The more time passed, I came to think that fear was a fear of respect. Surely the Creator was deserving of respect, a reverence, honor. I began to realize that my trying to be afraid of God was not perhaps what was wanted, but the similar fear I might have for a parent, or some other adult authority figure---a much more higher being.
Since my attempted reverent fear was gone, I was able to then see more and more how God loved me, how He was there for me, even in the littlest of things. I realized one day that I did indeed love God, and how vastly different my relationship was. It is again different, and again many other ways and times. Ever growing.
The more time we spend with God, the Word, the more we find and learning about Him. This further changes how we think and believe some things, and continues to change in us. It is wonderful for us to grow in God, to have a deeper relationship with Him.
Live, and These Things You Will Do
Diamonds in the Dust. J.E. Tada
Overall a nice sentiment---although I differ on the last sentence. Our commandment is to love God and love others, so thus we must have some obedience at least; we are blessed with eternal life by accepting and believing in the One He sent, and following His command that we should love and believe in Him.
While I certainly am not at all perfect, fail in numerous respects to follow loving all, etc., I do not think that obedience is the result of blessing. Perhaps in some instances, yes, such as times when one unbeliever makes a desperate plea, is indeed blessed, and begins in earnest to follow Him.
I think that obedience is the result of love. Loving our King and wanting to please Him as we can. I am blessed in many, many ways, and I am extraordinarily grateful for that...but my obedience to God has not come because I have seen my blessings and feel I must obey God.
Few people obey whole-heartedly to the commands of someone that they dislike, or even do not trust. People listen to people that they trust, or at least respect enough to warrant obedience.
Now, we can also look at this statement as through the blessing is that of salvation, and then we obey---and that I would consider likely. This thought would more fully explain obedience to God as one grows in Christ. I think that many of us do not exactly "love" God when we first believe...our knowledge and experience of God is naive; we do not know Who this Person is, nor what is expected of us.
As our knowledge and personal experience with God grows, so does our love. We see His great love for us, and begin to develop a deeper relationship with Him. As the Spirit fills us, teaches us and we follow, we will likely follow commandments because we are with Him and know that what we do is right or wrong. We honestly have a rather terrible sense of right and wrong, and without the Spirit's guidance, we fail miserably at obeying any of God's wishes.
The law says do these things and live, but the Gospel says live, and these things you will do. The law demands holiness, but the Gospel gives holiness. The law makes blessings the result of obedience, but the Gospel makes obedience the result of blessing.
Overall a nice sentiment---although I differ on the last sentence. Our commandment is to love God and love others, so thus we must have some obedience at least; we are blessed with eternal life by accepting and believing in the One He sent, and following His command that we should love and believe in Him.
While I certainly am not at all perfect, fail in numerous respects to follow loving all, etc., I do not think that obedience is the result of blessing. Perhaps in some instances, yes, such as times when one unbeliever makes a desperate plea, is indeed blessed, and begins in earnest to follow Him.
I think that obedience is the result of love. Loving our King and wanting to please Him as we can. I am blessed in many, many ways, and I am extraordinarily grateful for that...but my obedience to God has not come because I have seen my blessings and feel I must obey God.
Few people obey whole-heartedly to the commands of someone that they dislike, or even do not trust. People listen to people that they trust, or at least respect enough to warrant obedience.
Now, we can also look at this statement as through the blessing is that of salvation, and then we obey---and that I would consider likely. This thought would more fully explain obedience to God as one grows in Christ. I think that many of us do not exactly "love" God when we first believe...our knowledge and experience of God is naive; we do not know Who this Person is, nor what is expected of us.
As our knowledge and personal experience with God grows, so does our love. We see His great love for us, and begin to develop a deeper relationship with Him. As the Spirit fills us, teaches us and we follow, we will likely follow commandments because we are with Him and know that what we do is right or wrong. We honestly have a rather terrible sense of right and wrong, and without the Spirit's guidance, we fail miserably at obeying any of God's wishes.
Monday, November 23, 2015
Life to the Fullest
For the bread of God is He who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world. Jn 6.33
I read this verse just last night---tried to get on and blog my thoughts then and there, but being Sunday the internet was completely used up by others as I could not go to even Google.
I do not remember a time, except for the one time of crisis, when I was not firmly convinced that there was and is a God, and that there was and is a Son to believe in. It was just the way things were. Therefore, I cannot express the massive change in life that many converts express---the change of life being that life is fully alive, and not half dead doldrums of mere existence.
Yet I can express the change in my life thusly: when at my sickest, and all the effort in the world allows me to hold my Bible, I feel alive because of the Word. When I am at a better point in my life, and I am busy with the twaddle of day-to-day life---laundry, cleaning, etc., my life appears to be more lively. It would seem that it is more lively; after all, I am doing normal things that we all do, surely I am more alive.
I would disagree. I feel the most alive when I remember (and even force myself) to pick up and study the Word. Not a "pious book", as O. Chambers would say---I agree when he writes that reading a pious [Bible study] book is not enough, nor the same. It is indeed not. The Word gives life, is alive, sheds light on our lives, shows us more of God.
The well-written and solid words of others is worthwhile, and may help expand one's knowledge base on things which help expand the Word...but there is a Counselor sent to do the same (and a better job than any pious author0, and we are so very blessed to have Him and the Word.
The Word does make one be more alive---much more than any relationship, career or other "life" duty. We were to be with God, so without great focus on God, we naturally feel a large whole we attempt to fill with things of the world. Many of those things are not sinful--families, etc., but still do not fill that gaping hole.
Speak with God, read one verse, worship in whatever way...for He does indeed make life alive.
Saturday, November 21, 2015
The Devastation of Evil
Victory Over the Darkness. Anderson
I have heard stories and seen many fall to the side. Whether they listened to lies, or were never His, I do not know.
We are all His; He knows us by name. I have loved the passage about His being the Good Shepherd, and that His flock knows Him, and He knows His flock by name. Oh, that just melts my heart.
We have had goats. I used to take a book, climb a tree overlooking my herd of goats eat excess blackberry vines. A great and peaceful time, I will tell you. Each of those goats knew me well, and each would answer to her name. If I cried, they milled about me, gently setting their heads against me. If I rejoiced and ran with them, they lept about like kid goats.
I cannot imagine how well He knows me. It astounds me that He knows me, that I am worth knowing
Let not the trials of today drive us from One who knows us so very well. Our trials may be ever so hard, but as Job shows, rewards are ever so overwhelming. God knows how hard these things are; reconsider for a moment how excruciating it must be for the prince when we stand firm in our faith, run to the fold of our Shepherd, rather than crumple to the prince of the world.
[Satan] can do nothing to damage your position and identity in Christ. But if he can deceive you into believing his lie---that you are not acceptable to God....then you will [live that way].If we even consider the Book of Job, and all the persuasive things said by his closest friends and wife...these were things to drive Job from God. Attempts to displace his relationship with God. God did not doubt Job; if one will recall the conversations in Heaven, God gave permission for trials. I will not claim to know why God allowed them...that is likely not for us to ever know, or not at this time.
I have heard stories and seen many fall to the side. Whether they listened to lies, or were never His, I do not know.
We are all His; He knows us by name. I have loved the passage about His being the Good Shepherd, and that His flock knows Him, and He knows His flock by name. Oh, that just melts my heart.
We have had goats. I used to take a book, climb a tree overlooking my herd of goats eat excess blackberry vines. A great and peaceful time, I will tell you. Each of those goats knew me well, and each would answer to her name. If I cried, they milled about me, gently setting their heads against me. If I rejoiced and ran with them, they lept about like kid goats.
I cannot imagine how well He knows me. It astounds me that He knows me, that I am worth knowing
Let not the trials of today drive us from One who knows us so very well. Our trials may be ever so hard, but as Job shows, rewards are ever so overwhelming. God knows how hard these things are; reconsider for a moment how excruciating it must be for the prince when we stand firm in our faith, run to the fold of our Shepherd, rather than crumple to the prince of the world.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Eternal Life
.Victory over the Darkness, Anderson.Salvation is not a future addition; it's a present transformation. Eternal life is something you possess right now because you're in Christ.....if you see yourself as a child of God who is spiritually alive in Christ, you'll begin to live in victory and freedom as He lived
I love this. When I first read this in April, it was so comforting. Somehow I had never considered the fact that eternal life is mine right now. Yes, I expected that if I died at that very moment I would be in Paradise, but I did not see it as a gift, as if I wore a ring of eternal life. It comforted me on my sick bed that I was given such a promise. I could be victorious and free, even with a chronic illness, I can do what works I feel led to do...even on a bed. Someday, too, either here on earth or later, I will also be free of sickness.
Knowing that we have such a valuable gift makes us more aware of certain things. Many of us live in fear of one thing or another---either for ourselves or loved ones, disasters in the world. But with this gift given, we are victorious over the evilness about us. We, by accepting Jesus as the King, have personally defeated evil the fullest way we manage...while Jesus has already conquered him on the Cross, we must conquer him with our acceptance and following of Christ. Otherwise, he has won us over, and we are lost to his evil whims without escape.
Our gift of eternal life does indeed mean we are victorious and free---free from evil, the constraints of the world.
I have found myself more willing to speak out about my faith here and other places, while Christianity becomes more and more hated. I do not doubt there are many who claim the faith and are not perhaps in the Book of Life---antichrists fill the world now.
We stand victorious. We are free. Regardless of what happens to our health or safety, especially with such darkness and murders in the world, we belong to the One who will say at the appointed time, "Enough". Until such time, we remember our Lord, and, oh! He remembers us. Never doubt for a moment that every moment God is very aware of you and me. He knows us---better than we know ourselves, I imagine. He, after all, knew everything about the Samaritan woman, without her saying a word. He knows us, never forsaken us.
Fear in the Night
By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is with me---a prayer to the God of my life.
Ps 42.8
Night. A time which sight is limited. Strange noises fill the air, the flutter of night fliers overhead.
Night is always the theme in horror flicks, a time when we feel the most fear.
Evil is referred to as darkness; God is light.
I have been afraid of night for a long, long time. I remember being a little girl and wishing desperately it was morning. I loved it when people were still up and awake...despised that I could not go to sleep after hours of trying, and heard the solid silence fill the house that meant only one thing. Everyone was asleep.
Now, I can walk in the dark---in fact, moonlit nights are beloved by myself. I will run in an empty field (before the RA) with great delight. Full black darkness fills me with such dread. Power outages are still stressful because of the dark.
Yet I think my fear is abating because I have spent so much time with God at night. The quiet of night keeps distractions at bay. I am not "supposed" to be doing anything but be asleep. At night, one can reach out to God and have a good, full conversation with Him. Discuss problems, fears, your love for Him. In return, with the building of this relationship, He will reach and comfort you. At night you can get full proof that, at the loneliest time of day, you are not alone.
Darkness, sin, evilness all keep us from seeing God. Those things are like walking in the blackest of nights without any homes nearby. Completely lost. We have to have light, we were designed to have that light and love---the complete love only God can give us. With our acceptance and repentance, we have the light and can again see. Reminds one of the line in Amazing Grace: "...was blind but now I see...".
Life without God is a disaster, and little comfort can be found in this world. All comfort of the world is fleeting and simple. Our Father's love is deep and consuming. He love me, He loves you. We are not alone, most certainly not at night when the dark is darkest...just like when life is darkest dark, He is right there, ready to love, support and hold.
Ps 42.8
Night. A time which sight is limited. Strange noises fill the air, the flutter of night fliers overhead.
Night is always the theme in horror flicks, a time when we feel the most fear.
Evil is referred to as darkness; God is light.
I have been afraid of night for a long, long time. I remember being a little girl and wishing desperately it was morning. I loved it when people were still up and awake...despised that I could not go to sleep after hours of trying, and heard the solid silence fill the house that meant only one thing. Everyone was asleep.
Now, I can walk in the dark---in fact, moonlit nights are beloved by myself. I will run in an empty field (before the RA) with great delight. Full black darkness fills me with such dread. Power outages are still stressful because of the dark.
Yet I think my fear is abating because I have spent so much time with God at night. The quiet of night keeps distractions at bay. I am not "supposed" to be doing anything but be asleep. At night, one can reach out to God and have a good, full conversation with Him. Discuss problems, fears, your love for Him. In return, with the building of this relationship, He will reach and comfort you. At night you can get full proof that, at the loneliest time of day, you are not alone.
Darkness, sin, evilness all keep us from seeing God. Those things are like walking in the blackest of nights without any homes nearby. Completely lost. We have to have light, we were designed to have that light and love---the complete love only God can give us. With our acceptance and repentance, we have the light and can again see. Reminds one of the line in Amazing Grace: "...was blind but now I see...".
Life without God is a disaster, and little comfort can be found in this world. All comfort of the world is fleeting and simple. Our Father's love is deep and consuming. He love me, He loves you. We are not alone, most certainly not at night when the dark is darkest...just like when life is darkest dark, He is right there, ready to love, support and hold.
Fear in the Night
By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is with me---a prayer to the God of my life.
Ps 42.8
Night. A time which sight is limited. Strange noises fill the air, the flutter of night fliers overhead.
Night is always the theme in horror flicks, a time when we feel the most fear.
Evil is referred to as darkness; God is light.
I have been afraid of night for a long, long time. I remember being a little girl and wishing desperately it was morning. I loved it when people were still up and awake...despised that I could not go to sleep after hours of trying, and heard the solid silence fill the house that meant only one thing. Everyone was asleep.
Now, I can walk in the dark---in fact, moonlit nights are beloved by myself. I will run in an empty field (before the RA) with great delight. Full black darkness fills me with such dread. Power outages are still stressful because of the dark.
Yet I think my fear is abating because I have spent so much time with God at night. The quiet of night keeps distractions at bay. I am not "supposed" to be doing anything but be asleep. At night, one can reach out to God and have a good, full conversation with Him. Discuss problems, fears, your love for Him. In return, with the building of this relationship, He will reach and comfort you. At night you can get full proof that, at the loneliest time of day, you are not alone.
Darkness, sin, evilness all keep us from seeing God. Those things are like walking in the blackest of nights without any homes nearby. Completely lost. We have to have light, we were designed to have that light and love---the complete love only God can give us. With our acceptance and repentance, we have the light and can again see. Reminds one of the line in Amazing Grace: "...was blind but now I see...".
Life without God is a disaster, and little comfort can be found in this world. All comfort of the world is fleeting and simple. Our Father's love is deep and consuming. He love me, He loves you. We are not alone, most certainly not at night when the dark is darkest...just like when life is darkest dark, He is right there, ready to love, support and hold.
Ps 42.8
Night. A time which sight is limited. Strange noises fill the air, the flutter of night fliers overhead.
Night is always the theme in horror flicks, a time when we feel the most fear.
Evil is referred to as darkness; God is light.
I have been afraid of night for a long, long time. I remember being a little girl and wishing desperately it was morning. I loved it when people were still up and awake...despised that I could not go to sleep after hours of trying, and heard the solid silence fill the house that meant only one thing. Everyone was asleep.
Now, I can walk in the dark---in fact, moonlit nights are beloved by myself. I will run in an empty field (before the RA) with great delight. Full black darkness fills me with such dread. Power outages are still stressful because of the dark.
Yet I think my fear is abating because I have spent so much time with God at night. The quiet of night keeps distractions at bay. I am not "supposed" to be doing anything but be asleep. At night, one can reach out to God and have a good, full conversation with Him. Discuss problems, fears, your love for Him. In return, with the building of this relationship, He will reach and comfort you. At night you can get full proof that, at the loneliest time of day, you are not alone.
Darkness, sin, evilness all keep us from seeing God. Those things are like walking in the blackest of nights without any homes nearby. Completely lost. We have to have light, we were designed to have that light and love---the complete love only God can give us. With our acceptance and repentance, we have the light and can again see. Reminds one of the line in Amazing Grace: "...was blind but now I see...".
Life without God is a disaster, and little comfort can be found in this world. All comfort of the world is fleeting and simple. Our Father's love is deep and consuming. He love me, He loves you. We are not alone, most certainly not at night when the dark is darkest...just like when life is darkest dark, He is right there, ready to love, support and hold.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Spiritually Alive
Victory Over the Darkness. Anderson
The moment you were born again your soul came into union with God...you became spiritually alive and your name was written in the Lamb's book of life (Rev 21.27)
Eternal life is not something you get when you die. You are spiritually alive in Christ right now.
As a home health nurse I met many people: the patients, the friends, the family members. There is something about a Christian that I have found...a "look" in the eyes. Something is there, a glimmer that I do not see in one who does not believe.
One family I visited, toward the end of my last nursing stint, had something about them that made me nearly certain that they were believers. At the end of the visit, the family members looked at each other, nodded...and one leaned forward in her chair.
"Are you one of us?"
Now, that could mean one of a hundred things, but I knew then, "Yes, yes I am."
Oh, they bounced up in their seats! "We knew it! We knew you were!" We were bonded beyond the nurse-patient relationship. If I had their address still, I would send letters---and I know they would be welcomed. Perhaps someday I will make it to their home and say hello.
There is a difference, we can see it in others. A look, a softness--an example of fruits of the Spirit. We are very much alive spiritually, even while our bodies fail us. Older Christians who are likely to pass, have, in my experience, a glowing quality--and I would say that was the fact of a lively spirit.
I love the idea that my eternal life has started now, and while I am not in a perfect body yet, and face the trials and tribulations of this world, I am alive. I, by the love of God and acceptance of His Son, am alive.
How wonderful it is that we have God, that we will live with Him always, from now when time makes sense to later when time is meaningless.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Author Post: Scratch That
I have given up on my one idea for a novel. Yes, it was the first I had plans for from beginning, middle and end...but I could not find research to use that was suitable. So scratch that.
I have dreamed of being an author since I was six. I may still have "stories" I wrote then. I have one notebook half full of hand-written pencil words, telling a story I thought of at the age of 13-16. I love the feel of pen, pencil, crayon, anything (!), against the soft blue horizontal lines of filler paper. Spiral notebooks, for stories, drive me crazy. I can't add pages!
I haven't written anything in ages that is a story.
My blog has become a story, in one sense. I tell my life as it was, is and may be. I pour my heart out into it, which, as any author knows, is the only way to write.
I love my blog, whether it helps others or not, it helps me. I write about things I have fought past with the grace of God--hard battles that at the time I thought I would never make it through. I have shared samples of heartbreak in how it affected me. My blog is a story, a journal, a way to show myself how God is there for me, and thus He is there for us all who accept Him.
I get to write a bad day out, work on showing myself the glory of God, and feel 100% ready to battle on by the end---which is purely God's great strength and love, it has nothing to do with me.
Writing is a passion--except maybe writing college papers--and I hope I get to use it in a big way. If not, I love writing my blog, seeing what countries may be reading my blog, and thanking God for being with me and showing me good things to write about.
I have dreamed of being an author since I was six. I may still have "stories" I wrote then. I have one notebook half full of hand-written pencil words, telling a story I thought of at the age of 13-16. I love the feel of pen, pencil, crayon, anything (!), against the soft blue horizontal lines of filler paper. Spiral notebooks, for stories, drive me crazy. I can't add pages!
I haven't written anything in ages that is a story.
My blog has become a story, in one sense. I tell my life as it was, is and may be. I pour my heart out into it, which, as any author knows, is the only way to write.
I love my blog, whether it helps others or not, it helps me. I write about things I have fought past with the grace of God--hard battles that at the time I thought I would never make it through. I have shared samples of heartbreak in how it affected me. My blog is a story, a journal, a way to show myself how God is there for me, and thus He is there for us all who accept Him.
I get to write a bad day out, work on showing myself the glory of God, and feel 100% ready to battle on by the end---which is purely God's great strength and love, it has nothing to do with me.
Writing is a passion--except maybe writing college papers--and I hope I get to use it in a big way. If not, I love writing my blog, seeing what countries may be reading my blog, and thanking God for being with me and showing me good things to write about.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Sinning and Not Sinning
Considering the following verses:
When one is chronically ill, as Joni Eareckson Tada describes in various of her books, there can be a lot of conversation that sin is causing illness.
While I certainly would agree, I would also agree with Joni---if a conscience is clear---and if one is still actively studying the Word, likely sin is not the reason.
We can then look and hope that the reason for our hardship and trial is to the glory of God. That, for me, makes my trials easier. Especially knowing God is with me while I continue walking the path laid before me.
Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” John 4.14
“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." John 9.3
When one is chronically ill, as Joni Eareckson Tada describes in various of her books, there can be a lot of conversation that sin is causing illness.
While I certainly would agree, I would also agree with Joni---if a conscience is clear---and if one is still actively studying the Word, likely sin is not the reason.
We can then look and hope that the reason for our hardship and trial is to the glory of God. That, for me, makes my trials easier. Especially knowing God is with me while I continue walking the path laid before me.
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Being in Christ
Victory Over the Darkness
There is a TV show I watch with my husband (or without him if he is not present, ha ha!) that uses the term "my person". This person is deeper than a best friend, in some mysterious way...the sort of friend that shares everything, absolutely everything---the sort of friend that shows up in the middle of the night, calls in the middle of the night if there is a crisis.
I realized the other day...that while I have other "my person"s, the main "my person" is God.
This is a new thing for me. I have leaned heavily on God for a very long time. I have had to, as there was no other way of surviving. This battle has changed that, as I have had to rely on Him even more strongly that before in my life. God is my person.
I do not say this to brag. We all fall in our relationship with God when we get "worldly"--go from a time of great closeness to a time of "convenience".
If I were to explain this to you, dear reader, in person---as I did with my mother---I would be crying. It amazes me and is so wonderful to know that all of me, every single particle, says God is my person.
For some of us, even with a growing relationship with God (me at numerous times), it takes time to say God is our person. We have to get to know Him enough, have called on Him enough, to say He is our person. We may fully trust Him and rely upon Him...but our relationship is young and new. We may not be able to truthfully say He is our person--even if we do rely on Him to eat every bite while fighting anorexia.
Any relationship here on earth with our fellow people takes time to build, to be to the depth of knowing we can call in the middle of the night when some "crisis" hits. Thus, it also takes time to know our Father and Savior. Those human relationships can quickly deteriorate if not kept up with a fairly constant contact schedule; again, like the relationship with God can deteriorate without constant learning and conversation.
Being in Christ---calling Him our person---is indeed the most critical element of our identity. If we do not have Him fully into our lives, we do not live:
We must strive side-by-side with God to deepen our relationship with Him. As our relationship deepens, this harsh life takes on more meaning--although I cannot exactly explain that thought. Continue and grow, my friends. Grow deeper in the love of the Lord, know Him more, take comfort in His peace. He is there at all times, for you and I are each His "person".
For every reference for Christ being in you, there are ten for you being in Christ. Being in Chris is the most critical element of your identitiy.
There is a TV show I watch with my husband (or without him if he is not present, ha ha!) that uses the term "my person". This person is deeper than a best friend, in some mysterious way...the sort of friend that shares everything, absolutely everything---the sort of friend that shows up in the middle of the night, calls in the middle of the night if there is a crisis.
I realized the other day...that while I have other "my person"s, the main "my person" is God.
This is a new thing for me. I have leaned heavily on God for a very long time. I have had to, as there was no other way of surviving. This battle has changed that, as I have had to rely on Him even more strongly that before in my life. God is my person.
I do not say this to brag. We all fall in our relationship with God when we get "worldly"--go from a time of great closeness to a time of "convenience".
If I were to explain this to you, dear reader, in person---as I did with my mother---I would be crying. It amazes me and is so wonderful to know that all of me, every single particle, says God is my person.
For some of us, even with a growing relationship with God (me at numerous times), it takes time to say God is our person. We have to get to know Him enough, have called on Him enough, to say He is our person. We may fully trust Him and rely upon Him...but our relationship is young and new. We may not be able to truthfully say He is our person--even if we do rely on Him to eat every bite while fighting anorexia.
Any relationship here on earth with our fellow people takes time to build, to be to the depth of knowing we can call in the middle of the night when some "crisis" hits. Thus, it also takes time to know our Father and Savior. Those human relationships can quickly deteriorate if not kept up with a fairly constant contact schedule; again, like the relationship with God can deteriorate without constant learning and conversation.
Being in Christ---calling Him our person---is indeed the most critical element of our identity. If we do not have Him fully into our lives, we do not live:
While this verse also speaks of eternal life...if one thinks about it, living here and now is pointless if not for the relationship we have with God. We would live the life here, and continue a worse life after. We would not ever live the life God had intended for humans to live.
John 3.36 Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.
We must strive side-by-side with God to deepen our relationship with Him. As our relationship deepens, this harsh life takes on more meaning--although I cannot exactly explain that thought. Continue and grow, my friends. Grow deeper in the love of the Lord, know Him more, take comfort in His peace. He is there at all times, for you and I are each His "person".
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