Chronic Illness

From Coping with Chronic Illness, Norman Wright

My diagnosing physician....knew I'd lost everything and he told me that this could be a blessing--a rebirth so to speak. 
I was really reduced to my basic self. I had nothing left to lose. Any step I took forward, would be a new beginning. I would be with people who loved me unconditionally. I would be in a safe and secure environment. 
I am a woman with a chronic illness. I have learned each day is a blessing. I am blessed with friends and family who are compassionate and loving and helpful.

This statement....could be mine. Some days the devastation of being fully capable and working to a 26 year old using a shower chair to stand bathing...is without description. It is not something one expects. Not without massive car injury or some other accident. Not because your body decided one day that good tissue was bad tissue and to kill it. 
There are days I still feel cursed. But they are fleeting and momentary, because I reflect too quickly to the facts of what I do have. I read daily of people who have RA that has disintegrated all relationships and they are completely alone. People in which the RA has attacked the brain. Attacked the lungs. Attacked whatever. People who now have a child with JRA. The addition of MS, diabetes, or some other chronic disease. I am yet blessed. 
I still grieve. I do not think that one every stops grieving entirely with a chronic illness. Just because it is chronic does not mean it does not change. A new grief may come to pass. 

J.E. Tada's More Precious than Silver

In my case, everything meant giving up self-pity and resentment over a body that no longer worked. Selling everything [to buy a certain field] meant tossing aside the questions and investing the hours I sit in this wheelchair. But to me, it's beautiful because underneath the surface is the treasure, the priceless treasure of knowing Jesus better. What does your field look like? What treasures have you found thus far? What investments do you need to make to uncover other finds?

I have learned so much more about God, His loving power, and really how fortunate I am that He is really in control. I had read in another book about minimizing God, as if we could control Him...I thought how much more horrible my life would be if I really truly was in control of it. If I could make God do what I thought was best. Considering that, within months, I may think a wonderful idea is the stupidest idea to ever have been thought of....we are really very fortunate that God cares enough for us to not completely heed our requests. I am sure He listens, considers (even though He already knows the right answer and path) and makes the best choice. Like a mother refusing her  5 year old child's demand for a 10 pound bag of candy. It will end poorly for the child, with more suffering than needed....than if, say, Mama buys a single Hershey's bar; even though the child is most emphatic that it is not so. Thank the Lord He makes the right choices for me. 
I too have had to give up a lot of self pity and resentment over a body that does not answer to me as it did. And I still have to work on that. Thank the Lord He also gives strength to do these things!