Exposure

From J.E. Tada's More Precious than Silver

Exposure of our sin is God's way of healing our soul. As in the case of contaminated water, the danger is in the concealment of the poison. As long as it was down there, the water would kill. It had to come up and be exposed to the cleaning elements before its deadliness could be neutralized. God digs past out attempts to hide our sins and brings them to our minds. Then He exposes them to His faithful and just character to cleanse and restore life. 

We all talk about this subject a lot. I have already talked about this subject a lot.  But just because I have gotten rid of some old sins by forgiving...some new ones have emerged. 
Yesterday was the two year anniversary of my last clinical day as a student nurse. Just weeks later I took and passed the state boards. I was a nurse! One of the High Honor nurses when walking in the graduation ceremony. I got married. 
11 months ago, I woke up with feet that felt like glass shards were between the bones. I could not stop being drenched in sweat from all the pain. Nausea got worse and worse. My doctor put me on light duty, but eventually that was too much. I left that job with promises of rehiring upon steadying of my disease. We haven't permanently managed that. And it breaks my heart. 
Yet I am beginning to consider this a sin. Not the being ill with RA/fibrom, but being hurt when I come out of flares because I am "missing" so much. Certainly, it can be true...but is there a point in being distressed by it? It is not as though I am being abused or left out. I am simply, even on most good days, too sick to make going anywhere much worth it. 

To digress...I have been extraordinarily blessed. I have spent more hours in Bible related things than I likely have over the course of my life. I have loved every minute of that---ever delving deeper into the never-ending mysteries of my loving Father. This "work" as I call it has helped me fight against those feelings of grief, the fact that I am better today likely means another terrible sick day could hit me. When I spend so much time reading books written by godly authors, and read the Psalms and the N Testament, it soothes my heart. One of the Psalms even states something along the lines of "the reading of the law renews the mind". It is certainly so...
Alas...when any of us are in a state of grief, we often cannot stay focused on anything because of the grief. We must make the effort to commune with God. He is waiting with open arms, and will provide peace. 
I am most upset with my disease state and how harsh it still is when I am not doing my "work", or not reading the Bible otherwise. Or lack of prayer. I get so focused on being upset about being sick. In His Word I find comfort, peace and love. So, find (or make) some time today to do some to do one or the other. How can we expect to know our God more and see a glimpse of all the love, empathy and compassion He has for you