To Care

Crazy isn't it...but at the same moment that my fingers, elbows, knees and feet ache with broken glass, and intermittent nausea and fevers...I want to take care of someone who is sick as me. I want to be there, offering all of my strength, and all the strength God lends me. 
Doesn't seem to be in the plan. I hope I help my sister who is ill with ra...but she often does more for me than I for her. I miss the fight to help others feel better. I do not like being the one who has to fight to feel better. 
Maybe if I ever work again, I will even change paths. I never liked oncology nursing, but I am beginning to be very interested in it. Maybe because my pain can be similar to cancer pain, and the chronic exhaustion and nausea...I feel that, with God's strength, it would be a good path for me.  I never thought I would be interested ever in onc nursing...but I am wildly interested now. Maybe even hospice. I was too weak to take those in before. The massive illness and sadness that can be with those two. I think that I could handle it, if that is what God plans for me...if I get well enough to work again. 
Isn't it funny though...to just suddenly want to care for someone like I used to. And a sicker population at that. May God let this new dream happen....?