The medical professionals all say you will get used to your disease. No, that is not exactly true. You get used to the idea you can't be who you were, but the disease changes often enough that one never gets used to it.
I have spent the last several days asleep. No matter how hard I tried, I could not stay awake. I discussed this with my sister and my ra buddy Erin...my sister says it is like the non pain pain.
Non pain pain. Now that makes sense, doesn't it. Really. But being one with ra, it does. Pain that is there just enough to exhaust you but not register as pain. Pain enough to create anxiety, irritation or nausea, but not register as full pain. We say that is because it takes a lot of swelling etc., to actually hit the pain register in the brain...otherwise it just knocks one out into full sleep.
I could laugh slightly...I've had depression type sleeping. This is infinitely deeper sleep. I am a light sleeper...people walking in the next room wake me. This sleep, without even pain medication, is deep enough I do not wake when people walk by me. Then, suddenly, my pain increases and I wake up.
So no...I will never get used to my disease. Just to managing it as best I can.
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