Miracles

From A Step Further, J.E. Tada

It may be good for God to heal one person, and not another, or even to heal a person at one time in his life and not another time. I believe God sometimes still heals miraculously today when people pray. Miracles has a special place for the time of Christ-proving Christ to be be who He was. 

I have heard stories from mission trips of healings; people were barely able to even describe the event because they saw the massively obvious broken bone shift into place. The still obvious shock on the person's face makes me believe them. I have heard of visions of Jesus confronting non believers of various faiths stopping them from their persecution of the faith as much as Paul was stopped on the road. I do not doubt that miracles happen, and that God can heal. But He does not always heal everyone, and that does not mean a weakness of faith---look at Paul himself! He had a "thorn" in his side that was not removed; God's grace was to be sufficient for Paul, not the act of healing. Perhaps if some of us are healed, it would be worse, in that we would become prideful, or less reliant on God...it would create too strong a chance of drifting, even with a miraculous healing. 

I cannot say how I might be if I were healed. I would imagine my faith would still remain stronger than it was.My faith has remained strong following other "catastrophes", such as the anxiety and depression I fought earlier in my life. But, as yet, it does not appear to be God's will to heal me. He will usually grant me the strength to handle it, when I stupidly remember to ask for help. So I obviously have not learned to completely lean on God's strength, since I still have to remember to ask for the help I desperately need.

Phony apostles ran amok, how were the real apostles to distinguish themselves genuine? Paul clarifies in Corinthians--they can know he is real because of consistent life and success of his ministry with them. Miracles had the definite purpose of spotlighting those men whom God had appointed to begin and lead His church.
After looking everywhere else fr the reason why my prayers for healing weren't answered, I was forced to return to God's Word and take a closer look...has it ever really hit you that the reason you are n your present condition is that God, in His Wisdom, wills it to be so?   For God to answer our prayers, they must be in line with His will. 

However, one must remember Abraham, who by calm discussion, changed God's mind regarding Sodom and Gomorrah. His Will had been to not give anyone a chance out of the town, but He allowed Lot the chance to get out of the cities before their destruction by Abraham's discussion to search the city for one good man.

The pages of scripture team with good things that can come from suffering. Pain and discomfort get our minds off of temporary things of this world and force us to think about God. They drive us to pull His Word off the shelf far more than usual and pay more attention when we do.
I certainly spend more time either in the Word or with books speaking of God. More than I have in years. I spent the last many years studying, but studying books for school. Being too tired to do much church attendance, although I was able to attend Bible Study most of the times. I have been glad to study more about God---I did not get the chance to go to Bible College since I got married and immediately went to work full time. I so regret working as much as I have....I was working so much, practically taking any extra work I could at the home health nurse job...and running from the other job as soon as I could leave because of the stress. I had worked so hard to get through nursing school, and then got married in a month and started a job a week later. I should have taken two to three months off. And just breathed. Caught up on the years of missing sleep. I regret that so much now. Yes, I am glad to spend more time studying God, but sometimes this disease makes me so tired I can't study as effectively as I could. Sometimes I can't remember what I should be able to from the exhaustion. I was able to study so much and retain so much nursing info, but I just can't retain what I hope to retain of Bible things. I want to retain (with a grain of salt) the cultural things I learn, or other items like that, and I just can't as well. 

I am starting a long acting pain medication. We are having a little trouble getting the right dose. One dose is too strong and makes me loopier than all get out, the next is so weak that I am almost in worst agony because I go from no pain (and very loopy) to what pain I had before...and I see now how strong that pain really is. It is so much worse than it was when I first got this pain. 
I was reading a book called Confronting Chronic Pain by a pain specialist MD and Psychiatrist...and I was struck by the truthful statement I had not considered...acute pain (like toothache, paper cut, etc) shows our body to take a break, be careful, you are injured. Chronic pain is useless. It is not telling you anything, really. The information is old news, and old back injury, or RA. There is no real point to the pain, because nothing much can be done about it. Resting doesn't make a difference, if anything, it makes it worse.
I am trying to force myself to get up regardless. Sometimes all I manage to do is get up, go upstairs, look out a window, and fumble my way back to the coolness of the basement which soothes my instant fever. Sometimes I manage to visit someone for a while. My goal is to do that, and to sit outside on a bench for 5 minutes every day. 
What a thing...if I knew I would be like this years ago...I wouldn't have done nursing school. Maybe still have done some classes, because I love school. But I wouldn't have done all that stress when now I have no idea if I can ever go back. My medical leave is up in less than a month...then I assume I have to resign the job I loved. So I wish I had just worked at my favorite coffee stand and just had more fun. 
I wish I had not been so afraid of everything--although I think that is from pain I did not register very well.I wish I had felt more sure of doing things, going places. Now I can't drive, how could I go anywhere? Maybe the new medications will help; my injections, my nausea meds...
I didn't want to do this. No one wants to face this sort of thing. What's funny is how scared I was of this sort of thing...I would never read about Joni because I was sure I would end up like her....I would never read this novel we have about the author who went blind....and yes, I did not exactly get those things, but I do have a chronic condition, and just about got my worst fear.
God is here though. Right with me.