Safe Comforter

Then mark how safe a Comforter the Holy [Spirit] is. All comfort is not safe; mark that. ~ Charles Spurgeon, Vol One

We all like to think that we are adept comforters. Oh, I saw this person in mourning over this or that, and I said this or that! They felt much better!
Perhaps they did. And perhaps they did not. We also hold the fatal mistake of being able to make a distressed person feel infinitely worse about their condition of struggle. We, being our own little godlets, see the world only through our eyes. Therefore, when we say a "comforting" word to someone, however well-meaning, we say it through seeing someone else's world with our own eyes.
 
This is not to say that we are not able to ever say anything comforting---I have had many people say things that meant the world to me and indeed lifted my spirits. I have had the alternate effect as well; what someone said or did devastated me. 

Still, we should go about comforting others...it is a way of loving others. We must guard ourselves against doing so pridefully; to ensure not becoming the "official church comforter" of our particular body, Sunday school, what-have-you. Being prideful on one's ability to soothe makes one blind to seeing the hurt the other person is feeling. 

When we ourselves need comfort, we feel this deep hole; a deep, aching hole, nearly like a heart-break from a relationship that has fallen apart---even if that is not the cause of our distress. I think that likely this is because, in a manner of speaking, we are feeling a large hole. 

Distressing things are massively multiplied when we have allowed our minds to wander. When I was lonely as a preteen because there were few friends who would come visit/invite me to visit (albeit I was a sad playmate with my already heat-intolerant, nauseated self), the loneliness grew exponentially if I was not focused on God. At that point in my life the best way I could focus on God was with worship music: I sang worship songs all day, listening to them as the day went by, as I attended to what chores and school work I had. If I did not do those things---singing constantly, playing the same worship tapes over and over---I sank lower into misery, crying because of loneliness. 
If, however, I managed to remain focused on God, there came a point in which I did not care that I had no one to visit with. It simply did not matter. A small twinge might come up, much like the healing sprained ankle stepped upon wrongly, but there was no more swelling, no more bruising to be noted. 

The Holy Spirit is a great comforter and counselor. Through Him we are able to be taught many things through the Word, and then also share those many things with others, as He opens others' ears and eyes to His wonders. His comfort is beyond all that we can honestly manage by our own efforts to soothe ourselves (drugs, alcohol, sex, even self-help books) or others' efforts (advice, etc). His comfort is a comfort that shows us gently (or firmly, depending) the errors we may have taken leading to this time of struggle, or in other times, His comfort is merely that of straight comfort....the comfort we find when calling to Him in the night, finding His peace, His strength, and His overwhelming love.