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Col 1:15-19
15
The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.
16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him

Rheumatoid Awareness

Rheumatoid Awareness

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Broken Tears

Tonight is a night for silent tears. Today was spent in pain and nausea...and fitful slumber. I can't even read easily, so at the moment I prefer not to. I can't make sense of what I'm reading, it is just words and more words scattered across a page. 
I am focusing on this moment, that my pain is less, I am mildly comfortable.

But it is so hard to go from yesterday, sitting in the sun almost like a normal human being, laughing on a cell phone....to this shriveled crying wraith on a couch who weighs the cost of pain by the cost of needing to go to bathroom before moving.

One thing has begun to jump out at me from the Bible. Over and over and over again.

But Jesus answered, “No more of this!” And he touched the man’s ear and healed him.
 
You know what jumps out of these passages? And screams at me so loudly it almost hurts? Jesus touched these people. He touched them. My Lord touched these blessed people...and I want that more than I even want healing. To run into my King's arms and cry "Father!" and mourn briefly of my woes. Oh, to have His dear, sweet, pierced hand but brush the merest particle of my person...for that matter, He wouldn't even have to touch me...even a look, an actual physical look would be deafening to my soul. To hear Him say to me, "Well done, my good and faithful servant" would blast away the worst, most hellish day on earth for me. 
So as I cry just a little while longer tonight...for the pain, sickness and frustration...I imagine my scene above. And you know what? If anything, it makes me cry harder. But not from the pain.....but from feeling the absolute love of my God. 

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RA Awareness Day

RA Awareness Day