Despising Discipline

From A Place of Healing, J.E. Tada

Could this pain I'm going through be God's way of disciplining me? Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. Not all suffering is God's discipline, and, if you're like me,you tend to cringe at the idea of God correcting or reproving you. 
All I can say is the love of God is only after what is pure and praiseworthy in my life.
 Heb 12 5-6

When God Weeps; J.E. Tada

A boy who lived in a box by the trash heap said: "You Westerners are the ones we can't understand. God has given you so much, you have been so blessed....why are so many people in your county unhappy?"     We have our ranch-style homes and unemployement insurance,three meals a day on the table and supermarket double coupons, if not food stamps, but isn't it odd that we still want more? If God were God---I was convinced He was all powerful and loving---He had to be as anxious to relieve my pain as I was. I was one of God's children, and God would never do anything to harm one of His own. As answers elude us, as God's way stymie us, the fire of suffering is stoked. We feel the heat of wanting what we don't have and having what we don't want.

I first felt when my RA did not magically go away, and a I got sicker and sicker until I crawled into bed one day and did not get back out...that I was being disciplined. I had done some terrible evil that was nearly unforgiveable, and would lay and wither away until I died. I  nearly would have welcomed death to be free of the agony and sickness. What had I done???
I do not think that I was exactly disciplined. I have, as said before, forgiven some people, and thoughts have changed, so that was of use. I am not as sick for the moment, praise the Lord, but my RA is still there, and will be there, although I hope for remission.So I think it was discipline in the sense that sins I clung to like a favorite stuffed animal were finally seen by my sinner's eyes as petty and evil. I let the old toy that was battered, filthy, holes in various spots, stained and likely infested with some insect be torn from my clutching fingers and thrown far far away into a blazing fire. 
My discipline continues, as more ad more thoughts about God and the world and people change--sometimes daily. 
So many of us are so unhappy. Misery shines out of almost every person's eyes, even though we do our best to mask it. Maybe our husband spends too much money and the bills are getting higher. Maybe the baby has colic and nothing works to soothe her. Maybe the best friend you have ever had has just told you they are moving. Lost a job. House burned. Car broken. Parent died, spouse ill. The list could go on for practically eternity. Maybe you have a chronic disease and can't be a nurse, and feel like you can barely be a human being.
The main reason, really, for any unhappiness is the lack of God in our lives. Haven't you found in your life that when things are going the greatest....you drift away from God. Oh, sure, He is there, and you know it...you think about Him in passing, maybe once a week, maybe once a day...but He isn't the consuming power of your life. He's the....vending machine in the sky. 
Then catastrophe happens. Whatever may be a catastrophe in your life...whatever may be happening now that has you so scared or so angry that you really are not sure why your very cells do not go shooting off in every direction. 
Then, that quiet voice that has been whispering on the wind for however long it has been since you last listened for it......comes softly through the window of your soul. "I'm still here. I never left." 
Maybe you answer, maybe you ignore it. "I can handle this, it's not so bad."
Yeah. No. That's not going to work. WE can't handle anything in the world. So things either get worse, or we get too tired to "handle" it anymore. 
"I'm still here. I never left. Why won't you talk to Me?"------it's like we are angsty teenagers, refusing to talk to mom or dad, even though in our deepest heart of hearts we want to. Nope. Not gonna do it.
Then something happens. Maybe you catch sight of a verse, or a friend calls and prays with you...your heart breaks that dam holding you from God...and you run, tears streaming, to Him. 
"See? I never left. Tell Me child."
I poured out my heart, everything I could think of that was bothering me (and actually I just thought of something else that is bothering me, and I will take to prayer)....and as I speak to Him, weight lifts off of my chest and body. Pain still ravaged me, fevers still reigned and nausea rolled. But I had strength now. His strength. 
That is why we "Westerners" are so unhappy. We get things, thinking that they will fill this hole...we get a boyfriend or girlfriend, buy new clothes, new xBox games, a new car, new college degree (that's my weakness there)...and we still have that hole that only God can fill. Then we know happiness, because the Lord of all is walking beside us in the cool of the day, caring about and asking about me.