Seasons of Sorrow

From A Place of Healing by J.E. Tada.

But if for His own good, unfathomable reasons, He chooses to allow the anguish---this sharp, deep thorn in m flesh---to remain in some form until He finally issues my boarding pass for heaven (I want a window seat), then I will also pour my life into bringing glory to His most precious, saving, healing, holy name. But how do I do that? How do any of us do that when we find ourselves in prolonged, unwelcome, seasons of sorrow, stress, illness, financial loss, rational grief---or any of life's sundry valleys and heartaches.
 In the Old Testament, the principal word for glory seems to indicate "weight" or "heaviness". Its primary uses convey the idea of some external, physical manifestations  of dignity, preeminence or majesty. When we glorify the name of our God, He gives us the opportunity of adding weight or significance--incuding adulation, respect and honor---to His reputation.

We have to mourn momentarily about harsh things. That is good, allowed...Jesus wept over hard things, Lazarus passing away--even though He could fix the problem.I have not mourned my RA and my issues with that for a bit...but last night was hard because my pain got out of control. I was nearly crying about the pain and discomfort.
I think we can add honor and glory to His name without anyone knowing--in fact, I imagine God prefers that, as He wanted us to go into a room and pray where no one could see Him. Maybe adding honor and glory to God sometimes means adding it to what WE feel about God, and how our perspective of God changes when we add that glory and honor to God. Not that public things are bad--this may be a public "bringing glory to God"...which if it is helpful to others, and changes their view of God, the relationship to a new, better place, that is wonderful. 
Honoring God is something I think we get confused about...that unless we are in the most impoverished areas, or leading a children's Sunday school....we can't honor God. I think doing those things is wonderful....and does honor God, but I think that we can honor God so much by our thoughts, desire to be with Him, and by our personal choice on behavior. Am I going to snap at everyone today because I did not sleep from pain? Am I going to be irritable because I am nauseated and cannot eat? Treating those around me during my time of illness poorly is not a good way to honor God. But say you were completely alone, then what? I have had some days alone most of the day, (I do not mind)....and so I bring glory to God by reading the Word, praying, looking at godly books.,,,being still in His presence. That is so big now.

What if, because of encroaching pain, or an even more profound disability, I became hindered from doing any or all of those well-loved activities [that I do]. What then? Could I still bring Him glory? Could I still somehow, in some way, add weight to His most worthy Name?
[I can] breathe in His presence. In the hospital, I discovered that, whether we realize it or not, we truly live our lives moment by moment, breath by breath, We breathe in so naturally, it's a given.
I admit, this take something precious [breathing] for granted sort of thing as often the way I relate to Jesus, our true life and death. The presence of God almost seems monotonous in a way; we become dead to the reality that apart from Him, we can't do a thing. 

I have had so many times in my life that I literally could not do something without God. Battling my anorexia/bulimia (not otherwise specified--as it did not fit normal diagnosis criteria)....I had to pray non stop with each and every mouthful of food...otherwise I would throw it up. I prayed for strength to eat it. (Now I need strength to NOT eat, I am gaining weight from being stationary and not so nauseated). I had to rely on His strength to battle the agorophobia that I had had from childhood experiences. He gave so willingly, I could do those things when I prayed...if I did not pray, it was so much harder; I would be physically exhausted. But by a simple prayer, asking God for strength to handle whatever was in my day, He just gave it easily.
Yet, even with all those strong examples to me personally for help, and how much God loves us...I would "forget" Him, much like how we forget that we are breathing. Time would pass in which I did not send time with God, or consider Him at all---as if He did not exist. Life was harder again, as stresses piled up, and, as we all do....we try harder and harder, stretching ourselves thinner in attitude, personal treatment of self and others...we just forget the most important Being in the universe. How can we do that?

The book of Malachi [literally shows the] Isrealites yawning or looking at their watches as they took their turns in God's Holy Temple. If it had been today, they would have been texting thier friends or playing games on their iPhones.
No matter what your current situation of circumstances, you can't help but exhale gratitude and gratefulness. I may not be able to do a lot of things when I am suffering intense pain, but I can still breathe in His presence.

Considering how I might feel if someone was texting at a most important personal time (like say, a wedding), and how God is having a personal moment with us 24/7, even if we are oblivious to Him...it must really hurt Him that we are so involved in our own little "world" of importance that we cannot even spare the King of the Universe five seconds. It seems ridiculous that Isrealites were treating the Temple, where God lived, so blase. But we do it almost every day, if not every day. 
If we treated friends and family with the same disregard that we often treat God...we would not have Him. Thank Him that He is forgiving when we have these strange lapses in thought, We need to set aside time for Him...but time that is not "routine". I think the best way to manage that is to change up what you do...reading a devotional sometimes, a Bible time, or some godly book. Or to even ask God to make the time meaningful. So many times when I have set time for this...I feel as if I am merely checking off a to do list. While when I am desperate for His help and His loving arms...it does not act like that. Therefor, I think asking God for revelations during the time we spend with God. It also seems to help if that time is different every time you have some time specific time with God....and constant prayer seems to help too.