I actually saw Rheumatoid Arthritis written up in my paperwork from the rheumatologist the other day--so I guess he has made the diagnosis. We've never really discussed it, but then I have always called it RA in the office setting.
I was in a flare, and still am--didn't eat for a couple of days (which since I have gained weight back is ok by me...), and now I am super tired and achy and nauseated.
I was thinking that with this comes a great amount of waiting, and how slowly I accept everything now. Everything is slower, with more wait...and not necessarily a bad thing. My time with God seems longer, and that I "wait" longer while I am in my work--either in my Journey book, researching what others have found in this sort of suffering. I never thought about it until now, but yes, that is my "work"...I spend a lot of my time reading Joni's books, reading other people's stories...combining with my own, reading God's Word. Researching diseases--but especially RA type things.
So life has become a time of waiting. And for the most part, I find I do not really mind---when I feel the worst, I object. It is not pleasant. But otherwise, waiting has become a peaceful thing. I wait to sleep, I wait for answers to prayers, I wait for medication to work, I wait to possibly go do something else...but I used to be much more impatient about things. Everything had to happen right now, or else maybe it could be made to happen right now. Such a common human affliction. We all think we should get everything right now.
RA is never a right now. The earliest meds take months. It teaches you to wait. And to wait patiently is taught by God. There are days I am still so riddled with irritation to be more mobile, but more often there are days I just wait quietly. I use complaints on here often as examples, but rarely are they in a complaining tone...Thank the Lord, my symptoms have been such that I have not felt the need to complain to my family. It is what it is, does what it does, and I do what I do, and God is always the same. I wait. Sometimes, I don't know what I am waiting for, but I wait patiently, expectantly. Maybe I am just waiting for God.
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
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