Really Reading

John 3:17-20 (NLT)
¹⁷ God did not send his Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it.
¹⁸ “There is no eternal doom awaiting those who trust him to save them. But those who don’t trust him have already been tried and condemned for not believing in the only Son of God. ¹⁹ Their sentence is based on this fact: that the Light from heaven came into the world, but they loved the darkness more than the Light, for their deeds were evil. ²⁰ They hated the heavenly Light because they wanted to sin in the darkness. They stayed away from that Light for fear their sins would be exposed and they would be punished.

note from The Recovery Bible: 
Faith says yes to God's loving overtures to us. God cared enough to send His own Son to pay for our sins. True faith has nothing to do with human efforts...true faith says to God 'I am a helpless sinner, unable to effect my own recovery, I trust your forgiveness, which you freely offer me in Jesus Christ.' This faith delivers us from the ultimate consequences of our sins---eternal separation from God.

I have been exploring other translations lately...we have a 12 step Bible in the house, not from need from an AA point of view, but from the view that everyone is somehow an -aholic. Stressaholic would likely be my diagnosis. NIV has been my favorite translation, but it is intriguing to read the Word with slightly different intonations. The meaning is there, and it hits me the same, but it is different. Like reading Harry Potter in a English version (which I have) versus the standard American translation. It's almost like getting a whole new book. 
My RA has really shown that efforts are meaningless. I am so nauseated as I write this that I know there is nothing I can do at the moment other than have faith; praise God. He is there, He loves me, and I do not have to do anything but believe Him and love Him back. What an amazing gift He really gives us...I was just thinking how all the stories of ancient gods "demanded" such terrible things of their believers. All my God requires is that I believe in Him and love Him. 
It bothered me as a child, because I didn't love Him yet. I liked God...but how could you love someone you never saw? But then....we do sort of see God. I see Him, what He can do, when I look outdoors at nature; gorgeous flowers, the sweet flow of wind in maple trees, singing birds, the stars and sunrise, a sunset. I think between seeing what God had made, and how God was always there for me, I loved Him. "Because He first loved me."