Continuing

From A Place of Healing by J.E. Tada

I can go on because Jesus is my consulation.Charles Spurgeon says: Jesus cheer us. He cheers us not by His physical presence but through the Holy Spirit; to make glad our tired hearts, to uplift and confirm the weak, to encourage and raise up the downcast and to comfort us. The Holy Spirit is graciously engaged to be my Comforter---it's the Spirit's greatest joy and pleasure--it's His specific command--to honor Christ by helping you and me. He lives within your heart to make your heart sturdy and glad, and to remind you of sure and certain promises. 
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Is+61&version=NIV 

There have been many times that the Spirit has so fully lifted me. Times in this current RA pain that I simply could not go on. How am I to face the possibility of this amount of pain and sickness (or worse) the rest of my life? With often such little relief for comfort, a decreasing (in my unhappiest mind) of being able to go to work and do what it seemed I was meant to do. Often I am not even thinking of God, but the Spirit must work to "pop" Him into my mind so that I cry out to Him. Otherwise I would sit in worsening misery and depression--unable to function what I do because of complete forfeit. 

I can go on because right now counts forever. To be confronted with suffering, whether observing it in another or struggling against it with your own aches and pains...to be confronted with affliction is a reminder that something immense and cosmic is at state: a heaven to be reached, a hell to be avoided, and a life on earth to be lived seriously and circumspectly.

This passage from Tada's book really makes me think more of other battles I have fought, but our sufferings, regardless of what they are, are a mirror (and a suspect a weak mirror in some instances) of the spiritual battles going on about us all the time. There is such a war, and we are often so oblivious of the battle raging.How our emotions change through the day are such an example to me. We can suddenly be so upset because we are in pain, or the baby won't stop crying, or a friend "slighted" us when indeed the person did not actually...and if we discuss the topic with God, or ban the evil ones...the emotion often immediately changes. Sometimes leaving instead the emotion of shame for having been weak enough to not be concerned on greater things. 

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Lk+14%3A13-14&version=NIV

My Daughter, keep going in My name to the broken, discouraged and despairing. Keep on being my hands and feet and eyes and ears for those who are without. Do this as long as you are able. 

This is such an empowering statement, whatever we are facing. Somehow thinking I am doing whatever I am doing for God makes it easier to take, easier to try and fight it. It is too hard to do something purely for myself, especially something as painful and dissatisfying as dealing with chronic illness.