True Passion

Finding God. L. Crabb

True passion for our Lord is a work of the Holy Spirit....God's Spirit gives us a fuller experience of Christ to the degree that we are willing to face terrifying truths about ourselves and life. Truths that will either destroy us or drive us to trust the Lord. 
We all fear that life is intolerable and overwhelming, but we don't want to admit it. To do so would require a terrifying dependence on God.

People often squawk about the fact God has predestined us. Yes, I believe He does that. I also thoroughly believe, without any ill-stirring in my soul, that the Creator of all things knows who will stay with Him. 
Think of the friendships and family members you have. You know which ones accept you pretty much fully for who you are....and then there are the people who only tolerate you because you are "family" or it is the "godly" thing to do...and finally the sort that would trip you up when you were using crutches. Somehow, without even knowing the person very long, you usually know who is for you and who is against. 
So most certainly the God who knows all, Creator, Alpha and Omega, will know which of us would want to choose Him. 
So then the Spirit. Oh, praise God He gives us His Spirit. We, who did not see the Savior, get to have His strong, loving Spirit right there, gently leading us, nudging us in ways God wants us to go. (Naturally one must be certain that the nudges are truly from Him, and not from the prince of liars---we must test all to be certain it is from God, that it matches His holy nature).  His sweet Spirit, oh, words fail me. These heavy days, sleepless nights, waves of pain, eddies of nausea, His Spirit is what I cling to, His Spirit is what sends relief, eases my illness for a time, smooths my hair like a beloved parent watching concernedly over His ill child. Why my own illness, trials, and hardships have been necessary---what other terrifying things may hit---I cannot say. I do not understand that. I do know that God never leaves us for an instant. 
I admit life is terrible. I have admitted that for many years. Without the hope of God's arms holding me, loving me, it would be an unbearable thing to state. It is wickedly true, the brokenness of the world, and its apparently worsening state as generations pass on sins upon sins...we really must admit that the world is broken, screaming out in agony. Then we must admit that the only way to walk forward in this world, and not hide under a kitchen table with a stockpile of our favorite form of drug (porn, drugs, spending, etc.,etc.,) in an attempt to numb themselves, is to put our hope in the Lord. Fully. Beg for help to believe, like the father asking for healing for his child. We believe, yet wicked doubt creeps in with fear...so dig in deeply, my reader. Hold onto your King with the grip of one drowning, and He will pull you out, and walk beside you. I imagine Him walking, arm around us as we sob, looking into our turned down face with such love...love as can never be seen here on earth. Hang onto Him, as He longs to hold onto you.