Exchanges in Thoughts

From J.E. Tada's Diamonds in the Sky

God can exchange the tragic meaning behind accidents or injuries for something new and positive. The cross is a good example. When God uses His glory, the most ordinary things---such as a staff, or a cross, or a wheelchair---He gives each one unique and special meaning. 

After fighting (with God!) my way through anorexia/bulimia and severe anxiety/depression many years ago, I was never sure why I had had to go through that. I often asked God why...which while many say that that is a bad, sinful thing to do...I think it depends in the manner of which it was done. I do not think my Father was angered by my questioning a few times why I had to face such hard things. 
There was a reason. I always had the ability to sense emotions easily, and in that matter, I could also sense anxiety, and found I had more ease in assisting people. I loved that God had given me the tools with which to help people who were scared. In that instance, God took a terrifying and horrible experience and turned it into a wonderful thing. 
We are often being molded into a different shape...God allows those horrible things to happen to us so that something more amazing may happen after all. We may think, as I have heard from many, that this proves He is utterly unloving, and does not care for us, only wants what He wants, etc. 
In that instant, we sound exactly like a six-year-old child speaking bitterly about being sent to bed. It may seem like harsh things happen...but considering human nature as it is here and now, how else but allowing Satan to "roam like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour" would He get our attention? 
Up to the point of getting sick, I was not super faithful about prayer, Bible studies on my own time, nor even much else in the way of keeping my faith stronger. A stagnant, but loyal, believer. How poisonous that sounds, and foolish. And while my breaks in illness may cause me to be outside or caught up in washing a load of clothes, there is never a super long time before I grasp what book about God I am reading. I am beginning to kick myself for focusing on these godly men and not looking at the Word in and of Itself as much, so trying to do that as well. Again, before being struck ill, I did not do these things, not with any consistency. I was not even dedicating my nursing work to God, as I had been in nursing school. Something in life (probably life) had dragged me away from that dedication. 
What will be the use of this time, I cannot say---not any more than I could say after fighting at another point in my life. I cannot say why you may be having a difficult time now or in the past. But I do know (oh how I know!) that God is with you, and holds you so very dear. We are the prodigal son. We are so loved by God. He never leaves us...we just leave Him and block Him out by our "important" life experiences. Open the Word, or a solid author, read His love letter to us, absorb what It says. Sing praises, dance. Be still...and see the glimpses of the Glory of God that we will see someday in full splendor.