Flare is beginning to fire up. Can't say as I am surprised. What I can say is a big shock is that it now takes 1-2 days to hit, rather than the possible hours a few months ago.
I am getting out of control pain, so nearly to the writhing about on the couch-bed, scrubbing my limbs with fists to try and relax the muscles so angered by the swollen joints. My feet are no longer going to fit in any shoe from swelling, and are super hot.
The nausea is setting in. Food still sounds good, until I eat it. Then oh boy. Lay down, don't move, please take some phenergan.
And yet today I wrote on Facebook that I would not go back to my pre RA days. I still wouldn't. Not something I would have said even probably a month ago.
My limitations are still great. I miss many important things and events. But the person I am now is better than the person I have left behind. I am still, as Paul wrote, the worst of the worst...but I am more patient than I have been (Praise you, O Lord!) and I have forgiven many sins against me that I had no idea I still held so clutched in my tight little fist (Thank you, Lord!). Those changes bring great relief to my heart and soul.
I would still love to leave my RA behind. And I expect days when I will be so wounded by hurt and sick of this disease that I will curse it. Today is today, and while I will likely get sicker throughout today, I am very grateful to have changed...how ever slight the change may be
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