Sleeping

From Gurthie's Abundant Life

Deut 11.22 ²² If you carefully observe all these commands I am giving you to follow—to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him and to hold fast to him—

To know Me, walk with Me, and share life with Me----this is the essence of real blessing...it is the hard things in life that cause you to want to know Me more intimately, walk with Me more closely, and share your life with Me more fully. That is why, in the losses of life, you can find yourself blessed beyond all imagination; because you have found more of Me in these hard places. You've discovered that My Word is true, My joy is your strength, My promises are your hope, My presence is your comfort.

Still on the hard days and nights, when the pain is out of control, nausea rampaging to the point of no longer wanting to eat (a good diet plan, but a little much, really)...I will often remember to ask for help, although lately I have felt His presence so constant, that if I take a millisecond to even think about God, I feel Him there...nearly like a glow that intensifies to say, "Yes, I am. I am He, I am here. Rest easy, My child." I nearly sigh in relief at how close He remains to me.
This closeness is a new experience. I have never had Him so close, so constant...but nearly every day, I can do such a small list of activities that I spend time with Him via the Word or a good, solid Christian author. 
A close relationship with God is real. Is possible. He is always there, and wants that relationship. After all, He created us in His image, unlike the animals. Animals were not enough. We were to be friends with a great Being, and we threw it away out of selfishness and desire for what we thought was "more". 
Do we not do that today? I do have days and maybe weeks that I don't work on my "work" or studying God. I am distracted away by things I apparently find more desirable than a deeper relationship with my God and King. I may choose TV. A book. A friend. Shopping (if I could wander more thrift stores)...the list is endless, and we all do it. We mean to spend time with God, but often given the chance and time for study and contact with our Father, we pick something else. 
I remember being in nursing school, and admittedly I had to read and study a lot....I often said to myself when I saw my Bible by my bed...."I should read that. I'm so tired, though," and I would roll over and go to sleep. 
Aren't we just like the disciples in the Garden. We would rather take care of ourselves than be with Him. We roll over and go to sleep, ignoring His call for company. And yet He is always, always, there for us.