Despised

From J.E. Tada's More Precious than silver

God often wills what He despises, because He has two lenses. You can trust Him today that your painful experience is part of a pattern. When the Lord looks at a painful event, He sees the tragedy for what it is in itself, and He is deeply grieved.  Ez 18.31: ³² For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!
He sees the tragedy in relation to everything leading up to it, as well as everything that flows from it (Rom 8.28)

I am still working on Timothy Keller's Walking with God through Pain and Suffering...and He mentions a thought I had never considered. He, willingly, went to become a human and go through every horrible thing humanly possible. And then, I realized, Jesus spent time on the cross in Hell. Jesus went to Hell. For Hell is what it is to be without God. And He was fully, and I think more than we "think" we are when we feel God is not answering our prayers. God is still there for us, we are just not listening, as we are so frantic in what we are asking for....and yet Jesus was fully in a living Hell. So, by that token...Jesus took more on Himself than we ever will, for we are already fully adopted into the Kingdom, and will never be forsaken. 
I can say I have felt those times that make it seem as if God is not there, or not answering our prayers. And for myself, I can say that those were times when I was literally acting like a toddler demanding an entire bag of candy. I was praying...but I wasn't listening.I was so concerned with what I WANTED, not what was necessarily good for me. Prayer is not a one way conversation. It is a two way. But you have to listen enough with your spirit, mind and soul to hear...for I have found that God whispers.
I do not know why we face hard things. Autoimmune, illness in children, gangs...it just happens. I don't think we will ever truly know. But I do know that my Lord is here with me, and while I am doing better with my RA now, He made me get through to this far. Other people have helped too, but my Abba, Father was there holding me all night on the worst nights of despair. Praise Him for all His goodness!