Well, after some amusing hysterically funny and astronomically annoying insurance adventures...Enbrel is back in my system. One shot's worth anyway. I will mention that I despise health insurance.
Hoping no colds, infections or other joyful things hit me. I really would like to see what some months on this therapy regime would do for me.
Facing retired inactive or inactive for my nursing license. That really bothers me---straight to tears if I think on it. I have done some inquiries on options. I have thought of calling the local crisis pregnancy center...but the thing is I am short on ability, cannot guarantee days or times. Gee, what a great.volunteer I would make!!!
I am mulling life over...and how I have dreamed of having a blog. I have one over a year old! I dream of having books published, I dream of bigger activity in the volunteer positions I see lacking. I dream of so many dreams. More college education. More things in life with my husband, like children, small hobby farming like we are both used to, cooking and preserving foods.
Many of those things may yet happen. Life is terribly uncertain. My dreams have shifted to include a less nauseated day, less exhaustion, to clean house, to leave the house in my car on my own and not regret it fifteen minutes later.
I have learned (and forgotten numerous times when very ill) that the most important thing to remember, consider, dream---oh dream!--- on is One Being. When stricken with illness one can quickly learn that there is only one way to survive. It is not medication (although very helpful!), it is not many of the things I listed as dreams. The only thing that will lead us through anything, never changing nor faltering, is God. I am often bewildered at being in the situation I am in after I so thought the Lord had led me into nursing. Now I am ill enough most days to be a very poor nurse indeed. I can at least understand those patients I saw in very ill stages now.
I do not understand. I expect to someday...having found ample use for other trials. I do wish that this one would ease up...but until such time as other use is needed of me, all glory and honor be to the Lord our God forever and ever. Amen.
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