The Hardest Part

The hardest part of RA is being alone. If you are in the middle of a flare, you might not be able to walk, or be able to type. So you spend hours and hours in pain, nauseated, and alone. It is heart breaking.

Many times I have spent in tears because I am alone. Desperate to keep anyone at my side so that I do not have to face the pain and malaise alone.

At the same time, misery makes a person incredibly difficult to be around. Nerves shot by pain causes an extremely easily irritated soul. Often a person with RA will snap at loved ones for ridiculous things, such as typing too loud, singing, etc. Not that the loss of temper is acceptable, and the RA sufferer often regrets the snap, but we are facing a very difficult thing.

However, I have to say that we are never exactly alone. I shared Psalm 63 on Facebook some time ago.

 You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.

² I have seen you in the sanctuary
    and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
    and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

⁶ On my bed I remember you;
    I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
    your right hand upholds me.

I have been filled with joy quite often, even on lonely days, because God is with me.