"Remember, God will never give you more than He can handle, but almost always
more than you can handle"
This was added in an email from my oldest sister today, and it struck me as most profound. How ultimately true, and especially so considering my current chronic disease.
Illness makes me realize that nothing, absolutely nothing, is under my control. I cannot control whether or not I even breathe the next second, I certainly cannot control whether or not my body has decided to attack itself with all it's might.
I guess the opening statement makes me feel like it's control, not even necessarily "handle". God may or may not take this disease from me, or from anyone else...and, for the moment, I am ok with that, I accept it. Tomorrow may be a hard day, and I may not accept that being sick is out of my control...but even in my weakest moments, God is in control, and will take care of me.
How can that be? How can it be ok for me to be sick? Or anyone else? Yes, I am "worth more than many sparrows", doesn't that mean I should be well? That everyone else should be well?
Certainly.
But I make choices every day that are sinful--I, like everyone else, continue on a path of sin, regardless of my struggles to be worthy of God...I ask for forgiveness constantly and admit my wrongs as best I can so salvation can be mine. It is that salvation that atones for my sin, and my faith that counts as righteousness, as it did for Abraham.
Sin is still so rampant in this evil, broken, sad world. I feel that many of our diseases are by the sins of our forefathers, much as it was said the sins would follow the generations. To me, epigenetics prove that what I do will travel to my children and punish them, as it were, by my life choices. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epigenetics)
Still, why? I am still taken care of, even while sick...I am able to have medications to help with dealing with the disease.
I think further, that because this world is so filled with sin, other people's sin poison the area around us, not even considering our own sinful choices. The Bible talks of the world groaning...how toxic the earth must be with the constant sin. No wonder there is so much suffering, we bring it on ourselves.
We have complete choice on what we do. We cannot control anything beyond our choices. Thank God that He is willing to always be there with us, through the things we bring on ourselves.
Beyond my RA, I have faced many hard things...the one Constant was always God, the one least disappointing was God. Yes, I want to be well, and I know if it was His will He would heal me. I cannot tell anyone why He would pick not to heal me, but, for now, it is enough that He is here, holding my hand and waiting with me.
He is in control, and will keep in control always.
And, there is the knowledge that this time of suffering is so short lived.
"Our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body." Philippians 3:20-21
I do not think we can even fathom what this new body will be like. I think it will make any suffering we have now be as insignificant as a papercut. So why must we wait? So we can share the News with those who do not yet know...and that we continue our faith even through the worst of times. Who would believe in something so strongly in the worst of times when healing was denied? Only something worth that faith and relationship.
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