How Many of Us are?

"It is not a question of black or white or right or wrong, of being in communion or out of communion; but a question of God taking us by a way which in the meantime we do not understand."
Prayer: A Holy Occupation, Oswald Chambers (a collection from various of his works), Discovery House Pub, 2011, pg 14

At times the worst thing to hear from a listener, no matter how sympathetic, as we ride the turbulence of a storm, is that it is all as it should be. That this is part of a plan. At the lowest ebb of battle, those words feel like a red-hot sword, slicing off one leg.
And yet it is so! and as such, we should rejoice. Regardless of the situation we find ourselves in, we are indeed fully under the watchful eye of the Lord. 
I was thinking as I read the opening quote about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. He had the "advantage" we often beg to know...what will happen, what we should do. He knew what would happen, He knew what He should do. In knowing that He sweat drops of blood. There was no "escape" if He were to honor the Father's wishes. 
So I consider, then, the various trials and tribulations in my life. Some, as I say, have been extraordinarily useful---the anxiety and such. Some, less perhaps for the population about me, but useful in melting away the impure metals.
James Stalker, in The Trial and Death of Jesus Christ, speaks of Judas Iscariot. Judas, says he, must have had some similar quality to the other 12, that he was made one of the closest rings about the greatest Teacher ever. And yet, Stalker points out, the teachings he received did not seem to melt away the impure metals as it did for the other 12---instead it disappointed him. He had expected a King, a leader to take away the perilous, imposing rule of Roman "pigs". What he found was a man who blatantly refused the kingship the people attempted to place on Him. He knew it was not His time, His kingdom was not ready until after His death. Judas, then, it is thought, began to dip into the money.
My own pastor pointed out in Matthew, at the Last Supper, when the Disciples asked one by one if it was he who would betray, all but Judas called Him "Lord". Judas alone called Him "teacher"...the others were convinced of Who sat before them...but Judas was apparently so discouraged by the lack of his own dreams being fulfilled, he stopped listening. There are passages where Jesus speaks pointed toward Judas...but he does not hear.
Whatever happens, be it the best of new or the worst of news, we must remember that He is indeed beside us. For if we chose to stop up our ears and not listen to what He tells us, just how do we expect to live a life at all? For in Him we live---whether paralyzed for 50 years as Joni Earecson Tada will/has been, life is through Christ and those who love Him as well. Life for me, in great pain, is through Him and those who come close to me. Life is not what the world shouts it is---that life ends up more painful and useless that even being paralyzed could possibly be. Let us not be blind nor deaf! Let us be certain to hear and see the times He points out something to us; it is a shame indeed if we close up and do not heed what is said. How many of us shudder to think of being Judas? And yet how many of us are when we refuse to listen to the promptings of the Spirit?