Advice From A Fear Suffering Auto Fear Mongerer on Fear

I am not one to be able to write on not fearing. I fear nearly everything. However, perhaps because of that, I am one of the best resources to write about fearing AND not fearing.
 Fear has greeted me and continues to greet me every day, as I wake from nightmares nearly crying. Fear greets me if I wake normally.
Fear is a black robed monster, sitting astride a black war horse. The horse is blown from the effort of running me down, turning at the end of the run, and coming back. Fear's drawn twin swords drip in blood from striking me again, and again, and again. The horse stands at the ready now, waiting for me to stagger to my feet again, to pick up my paltry, rusty single sword, and to ready for another attack. I am worn out from Fear's attack. "You have been sick--useless!--for nearly 6 years!" the Sword of Fear slashes across my back again. "You could go blind!" ..."You're next doctor's appointment will reveal a WORSE condition--and you will wonder why you dared COMPLAIN about your other "minor" issues."..."You will die alone, forgotten!"...(feel free to change these to whatever fear grips you).
All these slashes hit day after day, week after week, month after month, year...after year. On account of this, I am so very tired of dragging myself to the standing position, taking up my fighting stance again, and lose over and over again. I fear, how apropos, that I will not be able to stand at that battle station, and be trampled under Fear's horse. A sign will be erected:

"Here on this Spot Was Fought a Great Battle...Which, Like Most Great Battles, No One Even Noticed." 

The problem as a Fear-Fighter is that I don't have to be a Fear-Fighter. I won't step away from the battle field. My armor is bent, my helmet is gone now, my shoe has a rock in it. Why do I keep fighting? No one is in the stands, watching. No one is filming this great battle. No one even remembers that there was to be this great battle. 
Except One, who holds all time in His Hand.
I could step aside. Fear slaps his horse's bulging neck, laughing at me, as yet again I use my sword, in terrible technique, to stand again. The laugh is degrading, mocking. "Foolish one," he says to himself, "I will win; we both know it. You cannot live and fight like this. You will not have the strength, the power, the stamina---the BLOOD--to live to the end of this battle. You realize, don't you, that this battle lasts as long as your life lasts?" He laughs again, the horse shifting and causing the bits to rattle, the leather tack to squeak. 
Now, reader, my eye is swollen shut from the efforts. A night of nightmares that woke me at nearly screaming. A night of terror that when I wake, my vision will be gone. A night of terror, knowing that my condition could get worse...that I may never be a live person again; knowing I could be mostly alone, forgotten, the rest of my life. The Fear radiates off of me, feeding Fear to a larger being. The war horse becomes a dragon, blowing poisonous green flame. The rider, Fear, becomes a giant of insurmountable size. 
I shiver, now, reader, in exhaustion, stupidly thinking I must continue the fight. 
I try to straighten myself, trying to raise the sword to a fighting stance. 
A clinking noise sounds to my right, off the fighting field. A shuddering spasm runs through me, as I figure another Fear has joined in on the battle. 
I turn, and it is the Knight. The Knight that has been waiting off the field the entire time, the Knight that will take on Fear the moment I am willing to give up the battle, to ask for the assistance freely given. 
This Knight stands taller than myself, or indeed Fear, with delicate armor, made for show of wealth and power than for protection. The Knight does not need it, as well you would know. 
As stupidly as many of us say, "I am trying to do it myself."
We know it is stupid as we say that in our heads, in our subconscious. How well is it working, to do it myself? 
If I simply ask, step back from the fighting field, and allow that Knight to step on the field in front of me, in place of the battle....the battle stops. 
Fear, seeing  his Master, bows uncomfortably, shrinking in the presence of One so great. The dragon whimpers, becoming a shetland pony. Fear now stands on his own feet over the shetland pony. Fear bows several more times and leaves without a single word, never a single blow or movement being done by the Knight. 

So why do I still, like many of us (perhaps especially with the cornavirus COVID 19 scaring everyone so) continue to fight the fight alone?
It is our immortal battle to be our own little gods. We can do it, and we are sure that we can. We were sure we could generations ago, and we haven't given up yet.
It doesn't work very well, what with the drugs, alcohol, sex, and whatever it is that people are trying to do to comfort themselves in the misery that is this world. Perhaps, even, reader, you are one of those lucky few who have not experienced much fear before this pandemic. For the science and history minded person like myself, I know that pandemics and epidemics have happened many times--the Spanish Flu of 1918 ( CDC ) , which caused my grandmother's whole house to be bedridden but for my two year old grandmother. She was required to bring cups of water to her sickened family. There were many polio epidemics over the years, causing paralysis for many and killed thousands, causing terror for generations as well. (HealthLine )
Fear is a very real problem in this world and has been since sin decimated the world we live in to function as badly as it can without the Sun imploding.

God has many verses on fear, and not wanting us to fear. It can be easier said than done, certainly, as a champion--The main point that He makes with His comments on the subject of fear is that He is in control. The misery and horror we might face here really cannot DO anything to us, the real "us". There is more than meets the eye when we look at one another, or even ourselves in a mirror
Firstly what risk does Fear pose to our actual self, who we really are? Not much, all in all, if we are followers of Christ:
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be  for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul. Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done. Matt 16 (   NIV)
Basically, we have to give up our own little notion of being so wonderful, so god-like, and not follow our favored sinful behavior whatever than might be. As I say, give up our god-complex. We are not gods, and considering how little we can control our lives, it seems glaringly obvious that we are rather pathetic gods. The worst thing that can happen to us ever is losing our soul by refusing to let God be God and refusing to admit that we think bad thoughts whether we act on them or not. We are not perfect, and have not been so in a very, very long time. If we wait on having a perfect life in this world, we won't have it. Perhaps for a short period, but our best chance is to focus on the future we have.     

 38. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, no anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rom 8 ( NIV )

²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14 ( NIV )
While this verse is from a chapter dealing on the leaving of Christ from this earth until He calls us home--it applies that we should not fear anything in this world. It is easier said than done, as I well know. Fear is a powerful and sneaky emotion. We should not fear the things that are happening in this world.

28. When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift your heads, because your redemption is drawing near. Luke 21 ( NIV )

The end of the world is closer today than it was yesterday, much like each day in a pregnancy is further along than it was the day before. Each day forward is a day closer to a world that works properly.
Fear and Terror have become the passwords for life; populations and government scream peace, peace, peace--but I fear  (dreadful word choice) that such is not possible . This creates more fear and terror.

Fear is mainly based on suffering, either suffering in and of itself, however short lived, or suffering that leads to mortal death--the destruction of this imperfect body. For those of us assured, with the presence of the Comforter, who teaches us the Scripture as we study it,  we will face death but death has no sting now. Not with the covering of  Christ's sacrifice, for death is sin and sin is death. Since we have a covering of immortal level, a great gift from God, we haven't sin on our breath--not that we can sit back and allow the rot and filth of sin march around in our homes and hearts.

  53For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. 54When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” ^h

55“Where, O death, is your victory?

Where, O death, is your sting?” ⁱ

56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

58Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Cor 15 (NIV )  ( This whole chapter via link discusses this process very well, so I urge you to read it in full) 

This whole chapter, via link, discusses this process very well, so I urge you to read it in full)  
 Everyone should recall the comfort given us, by the Spirit, but also with the Word--and, further, by those who suffer alongside us. A battle, whatever it might be with, is easier with the help of one who fights the same, or who has fought and won. 
  
³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵ For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. ⁶ If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷ And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. 2 Cor 1 (  NIV )

Fear is a terrible opponent. I well know, but hopefully a few things I jotted down will help in calming the heart, soul and body of you, dear reader. And may He who reigns indeed come soon, maranatha, maranatha, AMEN.