Stand Alongside Me

I feel writer's block. Because I have been so very ill, especially this week with five days of bad days, it is difficult to know what to write. 
I feel drained, physically...but while I do not know what to write about, I do not feel especially drained spiritually. I could pick some topic and write from it, but I prefer writing from the heart. 
So then, we will see were this "not drained spiritually" leads me to write. 
This last month and some has had me in less study time, less examination of the word, or the good authors past and present who have shared their experiences. It bitterly annoys me to have wasted time in what are meaninglessness pursuits over the study of God. 
Even yet...I still feel His presence strongly the very moment I begin to speak of Him. 
I am reminded of Psalm 1.2-3:
But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on this law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.
So while I have not studied every day as I once did, have neglected my readers, I see wonder in that with that delay, He continues to be so near to me. My leaf, my faith in Him, does not wither in the hardest of times, simply because the love of God is so available.
The strongest of times are those spent in more study, more contact with God. I adore, though, that as we are distracted with life, be it illness bad enough to not be able to read, children, work or that fascinating tv season finale, He is so willing to answer us when we call. Better yet, as a favorite song of mine points out...He never stops calling us. We forever feel the urge to put down the tv remote, some novel, whatever, and pay full, undivided attention to Him. And it is always the sin nature that urges us to continue with what is not important. 

Faith is interesting as it matures. Paul speaks of us being ready only for milk, not neat as believers. When I was a child, I did not doubt God's existence. I called on Him often to help with fear...and I felt Him. Yet as harsher and harsher trials have hit, the more and more I feel His great love when I call. The weaker I am....the stronger He "becomes", though He is of course stronger than we can ever imagine.
 More incredible are the times I feel His love when I have not called. It must be a dumbfounded level of love when we stand in His presence at the end of time. 

So. As I myself struggle to force myself to study, to be with Him instead of whatever else may grab my attention, struggle alongside me. Pick up your Bible. Pick up your devotional. Pick something to delve deeper into the depths upon depths of God's wonderful self.