Anything Over Again

My weeks lately have been horrendous. I am lying down, having slept a bit after not sleeping at all last night. It's Monday. Which means tomorrow is Tuesday, and work, and the next day is Wednesday, bible study...and shot day. The closer I get to the shot day, the more I dread, because I may or may not find myself crying out to die from the pain and sickness. I never know what day will find me the most ill...and such days are so horrific that I long for night to sleep and dread day to break and reveal my sickness lottery for the day. 

Yet the last four days or so, something circles around and around in my mind. My vision. 
I honestly cannot recall if I ever told my readers of a dream I had at 14. And at 14 it saved my life. It stopped the depression and such that I later had at 17...and that is because I thoroughly believe it would have killed me at 14. (We all have some duty or another here, we are all placed in the time slot we are needed. The updates and upgrades to the Christian world. Remember to do it right with God's strength.)
At 14, I believe God spent me a message. If nothing else it is certainly not harmful, if you choose to not believe me. I dreamt that I was in heaven, standing in a long, incredibly full beyond sight "room" of people. I've never seen so many people in my life. Not even on tv. And He was walking past us all. I can see Him now, though His face was obscured hours after I dreamed it. As tears rolled down my face at the great relief to be standing here, no longer facing the trials of the world...He stopped walking, nearly having to step back to where I was standing. He then put His hand on my shoulder, said with the utmost kindness and seriousness: "Well done, My good and faithful servant."

While that seems sometimes when one reads it like a "weak" response to the horrors we face, and the living shell other Christians face, let me tell you first hand. Hearing those words come from that Man makes ANYTHING worthwhile. ANYTHING. Hearing the King of all, the One who spoke and it was so say "Well done, good and faithful servant," makes anything bearable, worthwhile, and enough you'd do it again. 
Hearing those words and that scene play over and over in my mind lately has made it seem "acceptable" to face this sickness. To remind me to face whatever is thrown into my path by the evil one to try to sway my into "cursing God and dying" is easily passed by with the strength of God. To remind me that it is beyond worth to continue on in this life, no matter the sickness and pain I face, so long as I am praising God every moment. To remind me that He does indeed see and know every millisecond we live, and knows every sting of pain and sorrow. 
We are all set into specific time slots. Hence the world has not yet ended. Some time slot of people have not yet entered, completing the "code" for the sinful world to be renewed. Let us work at what is before us. Even if it fighting sickness and pain and the fear of it, and not letting go of God for one moment.