From Coping with Chronic Pain (forgotten author's name)
This may sound strange, but you will need to relearn your world and reinvent yourself. You will need a new definition of yourself, including others. You will also discover changes in your relationship with God and the teachings of the Scriptures.
A woman with Lupus said: "Grieving my losses served as a bridge, allowing me to celebrate my todays to the fullest instead of being imprisoned in my yesterdays and tomorrows. Grief was the key that unlocked the door to my adjustment."
While from a pain-coping book, this passage is profound, and can apply to all of us.
Life is hard. There is not getting around that. Pets die. Family members die. Simply bad days happen. All because we, long ago, made the choice to sin.
After any hard event, whether it be you spilled pop all over your lap before an interview, or that saddening fact that your aunt passed away...can create great change in you. Well...maybe not the pop spill.
Grief is a tool that makes us look at life differently. Way back in January, I had written a blog that talked about how I had finally forgiven so many people in which hurts still festered below the surface. I did not even realize until I was prostrate, wraith-like on the couch in agony, that those hurts were even THERE!
I can say, now, that while I still am sick with RA and fibro, and cannot plan anything in advance yet...my soul is clearer. As if a wind has blown away sick, thick, tire-burning smoke from the hollow of my heart. I do feel lighter, after not carrying those pains with me.
It takes time to let pains of hurts go. But we cannot cling to them like a beloved teddy bear, for their presence will poison us over time. It is good and wonderful to think of your aunt...but not to dwell on the fact and forget to live.
Sometimes people are mad at God. I have not been...but I would recommend that if you are...spend time in the Word. The longer you stay away from God, the more poisoned you will be by the evil ones, and the more they will be able to drag you with them.
God loves us so much. It has been said, I have read, that Jesus withstood every illness, hurt and whatever on the cross. For millions and millions of people. Whether or not it is true...I cannot tell you how much He loves us. It is so far beyond our mental abilities that there is no understanding it. His love can cover old hurts and new hurts so deeply, it is almost like they never happened.
Rheumatoid Awareness
Friday, June 5, 2015
Dying Trees
From J.E. Tada's More Precious than Silver
They say that when a tree begins to decay at its roots, the mischief is first seen at the extreme ends of little branches...you notice the new growth is dry and brittle. I can't help but think how much like little trees we are...we simply must aim to have a Christian walk that, like the sap of a tree, runs through every twig and leaf of our character.
As followers, we profess to be acting as our King would have us act. We often proudly state we are Christians, what with fish on the bumper of our car, or vinyl verses attached to the rear window...yet the choices we make sometimes (most times, from what I heard at college) ensure that our Lord is not real. We say something cross to a telemarketer, we snap at the bank teller who is in training, we honk the horn at the coffee stand as soon as the car ahead half has their order. We get poisoned by the world saying it is all about what we want. No. It is not.
We are now enslaved to the most loving, kind, wonderful Savior. What we do in the world should be what HE would do...which, unfortunately, does not include honking the horn at elderly in a crosswalk. (please understand the sarcasm there!). Our Lord treated everyone with respect---with the exception of the coin changers--including His betraying disciple. He was, however, also not opposed to showing, gently generally, where one was sinning.
We need remember that every time we step out of the door of our home (indeed, in our home as well!) we are missionaries in our communities. At the workplace. Wherever you spend your day. Thus, I say we show respect and love to all. I have often been questioned about behavior of non believers, and I reply that I do not always approve of behavior, due to what the Bible has to say...but I will love the person.
Remember...if you are struggling with your day, speak with your Father. I have found with many hard days that even a minute in prayer asking for help and strength and patience with a day or a person makes a difference in your day. Blessings.
They say that when a tree begins to decay at its roots, the mischief is first seen at the extreme ends of little branches...you notice the new growth is dry and brittle. I can't help but think how much like little trees we are...we simply must aim to have a Christian walk that, like the sap of a tree, runs through every twig and leaf of our character.
As followers, we profess to be acting as our King would have us act. We often proudly state we are Christians, what with fish on the bumper of our car, or vinyl verses attached to the rear window...yet the choices we make sometimes (most times, from what I heard at college) ensure that our Lord is not real. We say something cross to a telemarketer, we snap at the bank teller who is in training, we honk the horn at the coffee stand as soon as the car ahead half has their order. We get poisoned by the world saying it is all about what we want. No. It is not.
We are now enslaved to the most loving, kind, wonderful Savior. What we do in the world should be what HE would do...which, unfortunately, does not include honking the horn at elderly in a crosswalk. (please understand the sarcasm there!). Our Lord treated everyone with respect---with the exception of the coin changers--including His betraying disciple. He was, however, also not opposed to showing, gently generally, where one was sinning.
We need remember that every time we step out of the door of our home (indeed, in our home as well!) we are missionaries in our communities. At the workplace. Wherever you spend your day. Thus, I say we show respect and love to all. I have often been questioned about behavior of non believers, and I reply that I do not always approve of behavior, due to what the Bible has to say...but I will love the person.
Remember...if you are struggling with your day, speak with your Father. I have found with many hard days that even a minute in prayer asking for help and strength and patience with a day or a person makes a difference in your day. Blessings.
Beautiful
From J.E. Tada's More Precious than Silver
So when God asks us to think about Him, He asks us to think about everything that is true, just, pure, lovely and praiseworthy. God knows that the more we get to know Him, the more we will know of life---real life...the more we will know about love. God wants us to get to know Him--not just because He needs our worship, but because we desperately need His strength.
At a later teenage time, I was more or less bulimic. It was not the typical "I am so fat" etc.,etc., that most bulimics would use...but bulimia is a form of control. Mine was again, not typical, as mine began at a very stressful time in the family's life, and I, who always had a phobic fear of vomiting, decided slowly over months that various food items had salmonella, and therefor, could not be eaten. Eventually it ended up with my weight being such that my counselor nearly put me in the hospital.
To win over this...while my Christian counselor helped, as well as my parents...the full win was won with the strength of God. I used to ask God to keep evil ones at bay with EVERY bite.
We desperately need His strength. There are so many battles each of us face. Some large and life-threatening, some smaller, but very irritating, like tailgaters. But we all desperately need His strength.
I have found my Father more than willing to give help. Often times, the problem is we, being humans and being ever so sure of our clever selves (much like a toddler), decide that we do not need God's strength in certain areas. Oh, we can handle this. It is so easy! Personally, it being 2 AM, I cannot think of a brilliant example--but I know I have done it, so I assume others have as well. So there we are. Merely going along, helter-skelter, knowing we know best.
I have found that doing that lead to disaster. One, we are not asking for God's help (which in turn often provides His strength), two, we are often ignoring His whispers from His Holy Spirit. And, the longer you ignore His whispers while doing something, the harder they become to hear.
Stop! Listen to your King and Savior! He will guide you, give you strength and peace! Do not let the evil ones get a foothold in your life; however small, they will destroy you in time.
Take a moment and look at creation. It is said in the Bible that creation speaks of God, and it is by the befuddlement of Satan (and their own choice) that non believers have refused to see it--that creation is practically screaming of God.
How beautiful our broken world is! How glorious God is in it--He placed the Earth perfectly; scientists further state that if the Earth was just a little bit closer or further, we could not live...and how often the giant gas planet Jupiter has such a gravitational pull it captures passing meteors that might otherwise strike the Earth. But that is just science...
The beauty of the Earth, the plants and the animals...how much more amazing it must have been before the Fall. And if the Great King cares for the sparrow and the lilly of the fields, He will be so glad to help us. If we just ask our perfect Father. Hear His whisper.
Praise the Lord, oh my soul.
So when God asks us to think about Him, He asks us to think about everything that is true, just, pure, lovely and praiseworthy. God knows that the more we get to know Him, the more we will know of life---real life...the more we will know about love. God wants us to get to know Him--not just because He needs our worship, but because we desperately need His strength.
At a later teenage time, I was more or less bulimic. It was not the typical "I am so fat" etc.,etc., that most bulimics would use...but bulimia is a form of control. Mine was again, not typical, as mine began at a very stressful time in the family's life, and I, who always had a phobic fear of vomiting, decided slowly over months that various food items had salmonella, and therefor, could not be eaten. Eventually it ended up with my weight being such that my counselor nearly put me in the hospital.
To win over this...while my Christian counselor helped, as well as my parents...the full win was won with the strength of God. I used to ask God to keep evil ones at bay with EVERY bite.
We desperately need His strength. There are so many battles each of us face. Some large and life-threatening, some smaller, but very irritating, like tailgaters. But we all desperately need His strength.
I have found my Father more than willing to give help. Often times, the problem is we, being humans and being ever so sure of our clever selves (much like a toddler), decide that we do not need God's strength in certain areas. Oh, we can handle this. It is so easy! Personally, it being 2 AM, I cannot think of a brilliant example--but I know I have done it, so I assume others have as well. So there we are. Merely going along, helter-skelter, knowing we know best.
I have found that doing that lead to disaster. One, we are not asking for God's help (which in turn often provides His strength), two, we are often ignoring His whispers from His Holy Spirit. And, the longer you ignore His whispers while doing something, the harder they become to hear.
Stop! Listen to your King and Savior! He will guide you, give you strength and peace! Do not let the evil ones get a foothold in your life; however small, they will destroy you in time.
Take a moment and look at creation. It is said in the Bible that creation speaks of God, and it is by the befuddlement of Satan (and their own choice) that non believers have refused to see it--that creation is practically screaming of God.
How beautiful our broken world is! How glorious God is in it--He placed the Earth perfectly; scientists further state that if the Earth was just a little bit closer or further, we could not live...and how often the giant gas planet Jupiter has such a gravitational pull it captures passing meteors that might otherwise strike the Earth. But that is just science...
The beauty of the Earth, the plants and the animals...how much more amazing it must have been before the Fall. And if the Great King cares for the sparrow and the lilly of the fields, He will be so glad to help us. If we just ask our perfect Father. Hear His whisper.
Praise the Lord, oh my soul.
Thursday, June 4, 2015
All Night
From J.E Tada's More Precious than Silver
His soul was so overwhelmed with sorrow, so that for the only time in His life, Jesus asked for something for Himself. "Be with me...stay beside me...stay awake with me please, would you?" He wanted human comfort...eleven men, some accustomed to working all night on their fishing boats, could not stay awake to lend moral support to the Son of Man.
Really, what a horrible, terrible night that must have been. I shudder to imagine it.To be alone on the night you know at any moment you will be betrayed by a friend, to be sent, eventually, to a horrendous death on a cross....made worse yet by the refusal of myrrh (a painkiller) and the absolute worst.....being left alone without the Father.
But now, He is lifted up, risen, and He...the Wonderful Counselor, Savior and Lord is always there for you and I. And unlike His time on the cross, because of our guarantee, our mark, the Holy Spirit, we know we shall never be left without Him being right with us on into eternity.
I spend more hours awake at night. It is a strange phenomenon with RA sufferers...I like to jokingly blame that since we are on the dark side of the planet, there is more gravitational pull, creating more pain.
I love to know that my Lord and Savior is there with me. I can pray and He will be there both before and after I pray, before and after I fall asleep (hopefully), He will still be there. He will not leave me during the watches of the night, to be alone during the night. Praise the Lord.
His soul was so overwhelmed with sorrow, so that for the only time in His life, Jesus asked for something for Himself. "Be with me...stay beside me...stay awake with me please, would you?" He wanted human comfort...eleven men, some accustomed to working all night on their fishing boats, could not stay awake to lend moral support to the Son of Man.
Really, what a horrible, terrible night that must have been. I shudder to imagine it.To be alone on the night you know at any moment you will be betrayed by a friend, to be sent, eventually, to a horrendous death on a cross....made worse yet by the refusal of myrrh (a painkiller) and the absolute worst.....being left alone without the Father.
But now, He is lifted up, risen, and He...the Wonderful Counselor, Savior and Lord is always there for you and I. And unlike His time on the cross, because of our guarantee, our mark, the Holy Spirit, we know we shall never be left without Him being right with us on into eternity.
I spend more hours awake at night. It is a strange phenomenon with RA sufferers...I like to jokingly blame that since we are on the dark side of the planet, there is more gravitational pull, creating more pain.
I love to know that my Lord and Savior is there with me. I can pray and He will be there both before and after I pray, before and after I fall asleep (hopefully), He will still be there. He will not leave me during the watches of the night, to be alone during the night. Praise the Lord.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Cry Out
From J.E. Tada's More Precious than Silver
Maybe like Mephibosheth [Jonathan's disabled son] we might cry out to God, "What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me? (2 Sam 9.8). We should know the answer. It lies in the story of love and friendship. God the Father invites us to His table to commune with Him, because He sees in our countenance the remembrance of His dearly beloved Son. There is something about us, those of us who are hid with Christ, that shows a trace of Jesus. Little wonder that God delights to have us to His table.
Often when bad things happen, or even just a really bad day...we either scream out to God, demanding why all these things happened to us...to the other extreme of wondering why more bad things haven't happened. I've heard people say all across the spectrum...whether it was a simple flat tire, a bad head cold or the weather killed the power.
Personally, I cry out more than I scream out. Cry out asking why I am sick, why I have to face this...and generally, though I still have to face RA, I have more peace, more comfort, than I did. People may argue that it is from crying, but I don't think you get that depth of peace from just crying...especially about a chronic illness, one that has stopped me, personally, from doing a great list of things I had planned to do.
So, cry out to God. I don't recommend screaming at Him, but...I suppose if you need to. But cry out and tell your Father what is wrong. How your day was bad. He really does care, even about the little things. He cares for sparrows and flowers...and He died for you...
In one of my other readings this was said....{Paraphrasing}The Father is before you beckoning you onward, the Son is beside you walking, and the Holy Spirit is within, guiding your thoughts, giving you strength and peace.
Never doubt God. He is way more amazing than we can ever even consider...lately, in the world, He has gotten pretty "Hollywooded" and "tamed"....
Another quote, C.S. Lewis..."He's not a tame Lion."
Maybe like Mephibosheth [Jonathan's disabled son] we might cry out to God, "What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me? (2 Sam 9.8). We should know the answer. It lies in the story of love and friendship. God the Father invites us to His table to commune with Him, because He sees in our countenance the remembrance of His dearly beloved Son. There is something about us, those of us who are hid with Christ, that shows a trace of Jesus. Little wonder that God delights to have us to His table.
Often when bad things happen, or even just a really bad day...we either scream out to God, demanding why all these things happened to us...to the other extreme of wondering why more bad things haven't happened. I've heard people say all across the spectrum...whether it was a simple flat tire, a bad head cold or the weather killed the power.
Personally, I cry out more than I scream out. Cry out asking why I am sick, why I have to face this...and generally, though I still have to face RA, I have more peace, more comfort, than I did. People may argue that it is from crying, but I don't think you get that depth of peace from just crying...especially about a chronic illness, one that has stopped me, personally, from doing a great list of things I had planned to do.
So, cry out to God. I don't recommend screaming at Him, but...I suppose if you need to. But cry out and tell your Father what is wrong. How your day was bad. He really does care, even about the little things. He cares for sparrows and flowers...and He died for you...
In one of my other readings this was said....{Paraphrasing}The Father is before you beckoning you onward, the Son is beside you walking, and the Holy Spirit is within, guiding your thoughts, giving you strength and peace.
Never doubt God. He is way more amazing than we can ever even consider...lately, in the world, He has gotten pretty "Hollywooded" and "tamed"....
Another quote, C.S. Lewis..."He's not a tame Lion."
RA Post: No Change
My relationship with my new medication gabapentin (Neurontin) was short lived. I still take it. It still cuts the fibro pain, which is great I admit.
I went out to the library and a thrift store and had three walks (which I had been working up to)...and then I crashed so hard that I woke up one day (yesterday) and realized I had been asleep for a week and a half, waking only an hour or so each day, and totally forgot my Enbrel injection. I kept thinking it was the same week, I had already taken it. Yeah, no.
So now comes the grieving. You can't help it with RA. You crash and burn like someone strung out on drugs when you are really strung out on exhaustion from pain and overall poor sleep. You crash and you wake out of a coma. So you cry. You cry because it is a week later. You cry because this is your life until you get the right medication combo. You cry because you know it only a matter of time before you crash and burn. Again.
I went out to the library and a thrift store and had three walks (which I had been working up to)...and then I crashed so hard that I woke up one day (yesterday) and realized I had been asleep for a week and a half, waking only an hour or so each day, and totally forgot my Enbrel injection. I kept thinking it was the same week, I had already taken it. Yeah, no.
So now comes the grieving. You can't help it with RA. You crash and burn like someone strung out on drugs when you are really strung out on exhaustion from pain and overall poor sleep. You crash and you wake out of a coma. So you cry. You cry because it is a week later. You cry because this is your life until you get the right medication combo. You cry because you know it only a matter of time before you crash and burn. Again.
A New Take
From J.E. Tada's A Step Further
Brook Schroder walked into my office last week, an eleven year old girl with soft blonde hair, a smattering of freckles, pixielike eyes and a full mouth that easily broke into a grin. She was joined by her mother and pastor. They thought it would be good for her to meet another person who is facing tough limitations. Brooke has juvenile arthritis. I would never have guessed except her mother pointing out Brooke's fused ankle. After that I noticed how Brooke kept squeezing her hands and rubbing her knuckles. I also noticed her stiff gait. She was in a lot of pain. I asked if Brooke could spend some time alone in my art studio. We sat and talked about her friends at school, her hobbies, and her interest in art. Our discussion turned to Spiritual things. I asked her what her favorite Bible verse was, thinking it might be the typical Jn. 3:16 or Rm 8:28 that most kids would choose. I was not prepared for the answer. Brooke quoted Jn 3.10-11 (which when I now look at does not make sense,)
This eleven year old girl with the ready eyes explained: "I could do a lot of complaining about my arthritis, but I've learned that's not right. I want to trust God." Brooke's eyes held mine, revealing a wisdom far beyond her years. Her gaze burned right through me. I squirmed and privately confessed grumbling about a backache earlier in the day.
No further statements other than my own personal verse has been m favorite since before 1st grade:
But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded. 2 Chron 15.7
Sometimes it seems like that verse has been burned into my very being, because I have had to "be strong" an awful lot. We all have to at different times. And I really have to be strong with the ups and downs of RA and fibromyalgia.
Brook Schroder walked into my office last week, an eleven year old girl with soft blonde hair, a smattering of freckles, pixielike eyes and a full mouth that easily broke into a grin. She was joined by her mother and pastor. They thought it would be good for her to meet another person who is facing tough limitations. Brooke has juvenile arthritis. I would never have guessed except her mother pointing out Brooke's fused ankle. After that I noticed how Brooke kept squeezing her hands and rubbing her knuckles. I also noticed her stiff gait. She was in a lot of pain. I asked if Brooke could spend some time alone in my art studio. We sat and talked about her friends at school, her hobbies, and her interest in art. Our discussion turned to Spiritual things. I asked her what her favorite Bible verse was, thinking it might be the typical Jn. 3:16 or Rm 8:28 that most kids would choose. I was not prepared for the answer. Brooke quoted Jn 3.10-11 (which when I now look at does not make sense,)
This eleven year old girl with the ready eyes explained: "I could do a lot of complaining about my arthritis, but I've learned that's not right. I want to trust God." Brooke's eyes held mine, revealing a wisdom far beyond her years. Her gaze burned right through me. I squirmed and privately confessed grumbling about a backache earlier in the day.
No further statements other than my own personal verse has been m favorite since before 1st grade:
But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded. 2 Chron 15.7
Sometimes it seems like that verse has been burned into my very being, because I have had to "be strong" an awful lot. We all have to at different times. And I really have to be strong with the ups and downs of RA and fibromyalgia.
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