Understanding Suffering

I spent part of last night and the night before asking God why He was doing this to me. Why was I having to spend hours writhing in pain, with no relief with anything I tried.
As i lay writing, the same words flowed from my mouth. "Why are you doing this to me?" "Why are You letting this happen to me?"
Today I found out what I suspected. The costochondritis is now diagnosed as chronic, meaning it may never go away. I expected that...but I didn't expect my doctor to say there is nothing that can be done. All of my various providers, with the exception of my eye doctor who would prescribe steroids if he was allowed for better eye control, do not want to give me long term steroids. I am not sure if it is my age, being on the younger side of RA diagnoses...or what. It is bad to take them, but on the other hand. 
I feel floored and overwhelmed. I expected this to now be the new me, but the idea of facing it, alone medically, is absolutely terrifying. Thus far everything I have come up with symptom wise I also came up with slight medical assistance. I do have some slight aids, but when all I want are.steroids....
So again, I lay moaning to God, asking Him why this is happening. And you know, I have no answer. I don't know why God has let my life stop, that I literally died four and a half years ago, that every moment is a moment of sickness. I don't know. 
Non believers often spout that such things like this are exactly why they do not believe in a 'god'. "Any 'god' that allows misery like yours is no god I want to know. A god that allows suffering is no god of love."
My understanding of how suffering started is based in the Word, another irritation to people. The story of the fall of man points out how misery entered our lives in great leaps and bounds, winding itself around our legs. 
We chose this life. We had perfection, all that was needed, but much like we are seen doing today, enough was not enough. We needed more, not even knowing what we wanted it for, but we craved to be more. Doesn't that sound like us today? Reaching and stretching to be, know, own or get aomething? And 99.99% of the time, we were fine without whatever it was we ruined our lives for. 
We reached out and took on genetic errors. We embraced not being perfect, with even great glee at times. Through generations, more sin gathering created more genetic damage. 
Ever have a prized book? Perhaps even a first edition, unusual book? Or it was gifted to you? A book that warms your heart when you see it. Now, imagine a child got this book, ripped a few pages, and scribbled pen on many others. A wise person would but punish the child, not kill him outright. This same person likely would keep the book that had warmed the heart at sight---and indeed still does---but he will now also receive a quick stab of sorrow each time he sees his book. 
Creation was the book...and we, thinking we knew better or could know better, took the book, scribbled and ripped, and objected to the consequences---and yet we still refused to hear the suggestions for an easier life, adding more corruption to our generations. The book still exists, but in a much sadder version. 
So no, I don't as yet know what God has planned for me or why these things have all happened. All my other experiences have been made useful for myself and others, yet I see little fruit for this.
Regardless of what we see when we limp through these hard times, we must keep the faith. The thing about being miserable, physically, mentally or emotionally, is that if you look, you will discover that while God may be allowing it, He hasn't left you. You are never writhing in pain, crying in sorrow, or numb with mental strain without Him being right there, unlike Christ's most horrific time. We are never forsaken, left, abandoned or lost. He is right here with me now.