A Song Entered My Heart

I lived in a form of fear, despair and depression this day. The idea of trying to work after having had medication hangover days was just too much. I wallowed in my despair, sinking lower and lower, trusting less and less my own capabilities....but apparently, worse, the strength God could lend me. Refusing, in selfish, miserable godhood to even attempt asking for help, God instead sent me a message. In the midst of my self-hatred, horrid self-godhood, my soul rang with these words:     

I will offer up my life in spirit and truth

Pouring out the oil of love, as my worship to you
In surrender I must give my every part
Lord, receive this sacrifice of a broken heart

Jesus, what can I give, what can I bring
To so faithful a Friend, to so loving a King?
Savior, what can be said, what can be sung
As a praise of Your name for the things You have done?
Oh, my words could not tell, not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed by this thankful heart

This thankful heart
This thankful heart

(Matt Redman, copied from metro lyrics)

Now, how is that an incredible action of God in response to my meaningless godhood? I spent so much time and energy into making myself even more miserable, and He sends, suddenly, a random song. That I must surrender my every part, to have HIM, not me, working. I do nothing of value unless it is for Him, through HIM and to HIM. When we operate alone, whether we ourselves into despair or not, we are acting in our own godhood. We are, quite frankly, worshipping ourselves.  We did this, we did that. Oh, how marvelous we are. Gag.