Disabled and inVALID

Let's face it. Regardless of what anyone says in the world, I am disabled. Worse,I am inVALID. 
I have been trying for disability status,giving up three years ago, figuring the likelihood of my being cured was, reality check, less than my chance at seeing a live tricerotops on this planet. It was ever suggested by the government when I asked for some sort of assistance in paying the max out of pocket every year by the second month. Which would be ok, if my MOOP was still 1,500 as it was five years ago, and not 6,660. Ouch. Therefore I started the paperwork...finding as I thought about what they asked that I was even more pathetic and inVALID than I had ever thought I was. Do you cook? No. Why? I often get too tired or too ill to monitor it, leaving it less than half done. Do you go to stores? No. Why not? It's too much effort to walk, so I rarely go but to the thrift store smaller than a gas station for dive minutes, where I sit, and then to pick up holds at the library. Do you see friends? No. Its too tiring, and I don't drive but a few times a year. I have hardly used a computer since I got iritis,because the light will make inflammation worse. I listen to tv, with the screens so dimmed i can't really even see the characters move about, hide in the dark, barely able to sort of read a book, if my vision isn't blurry from inflammation cells in the eye. I don't see anyone, I feel too tired and too nauseated. To be honest, the nausea is worse than any stomach flu I have had to date. All encompassing, horrible.
However, since I got well enough to feel "better" than I had in three years, which meant I might have a very good day once every two months, and a slightly longer energy burst during a week, say two hours total in the day, I was declared well enough to work by my doctors. If my readers know of a job that pays you to not watch tv from blacked out screens, or for working the days you feel like it, and well at that, do let me know. As it is, as hard as I worked for my near 4.0 GPA in RN school, I know I would be fired the first week, if I managed to get a job. So what, should I get and lose job after job? Apparently. 
InVALID. That's what the word means to me. Not invalid, but inVALID. No longer valid, no longer useful. Especially now I cannot hardly stand to do my blogging outreach program, I feel especially useless. 
I'm being left behind by everyone. I don't have children, seemingly never will, I don't do anything, can't do much, and am regularly called a liar, lazy, and so forth for my lack of activities, and have little to nothing to talk about, making me a very dull person. I can talk about Bible, end times, news fake and real, and health. That's it. And most people do not want to talk about any of these topics, finding it boring or weird. 
My heart is beyond heavy. My soul is beyond heavy.