I am quite discouraged at the moment. Wrote out all the days this year alone that I was too sick to do anything for the disability application. Depressing as the application itself. You don't really know how bad off you are until you, at the request of the government, fill out a disability application. I avoid so many things because they will make me "sick". I don't go anywhere longer than four hours if it is close and I feel "really good", but I am more likely to only stay one hour. I don't drive but on really good days, and even then I won't go to town by myself. I get so sick so fast that it isn't even funny.
I would do almost anything to not be sick again. I am so tired of feeling so horrible, limping around the house, refusing to get too tired, or anything else I have learned will result in weeks worth of punishment.
The few times I have pushed through horrible sickness, the world basely shimmering before my eyes with the fever and the nausea, was terrible. I did not enjoy it, but counted the minutes until I could lay down in a cold bed and close my eyes against the world and wait for however long I had to for the waves of nausea to go away, the burning heat of 2 degrees of fever to wash away from me.
Oh. I would do anything to go into remission and stay there. I never have even gotten that. I guess that's a fib. I got one week's worth in August, 2014. When I took some antibiotics for a UTI and the RA pain went away. Since then I have had one or two days of being free of nausea, and never a day free from pain.
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