Hang On

I will try and write---I have been struck by RA flares or some related joy. I apologize if it does not make a lot of sense....

I was thinking today about when we are told to carry our crosses and follow Christ...how all the things that happen to us which are "bad" do not come from Him. 
Some we cause ourselves, choosing to have an affair, driving over speed limits, and then finding that we are in a worse mess than had we stuck with our first marriage, facing paralysis by speeding and wrecking. 
Some things we do not choose to do--I did not choose to have RA, and, as far as I know, did nothing to cause it. 
Yet regardless of the bad things that swirl into our lives, we have to pick up our cross. 

After more than two years of illness and study, I see hardships in the light of someone doing their best to pry us away from our faith, from our God. How often does it work? Most of us know a few people that with some tragedy or even a not-so-terrible tragedy melted them away from Christ. Some to the point of cursing Him. (shudder, I cannot fathom this). 
Every trial and difficulty, every bad spot in a day is a time for you to make a powerful, incredible choice. A choice that causes angels to rejoice and evil to scream in rage. Every time we make the choice to say to an angry, unpleasant check-out clerk at the grocery store something that makes them laugh rather than snapping back at them is a choice toward the better. Every time we shun questionable websites, every time we literally (or actually) state we will not give up God is a great victory. 

Every moment of every day can be a moment that the evil ones attempt to break us away from God. Every moment of my illness is a moment that I could (shudder) curse God for allowing me to be sick---allowing me to be sick how long? allowing me to miss so much of life. 
Life is more than what we think it should be. Carrying our cross that we might walk beside Christ, listen to His voice teach us through Scripture, hear His answers to questions in prayers---that is life. And it is a life that is very difficult to "accept" when all about us shines neon lights of achievements, adventures, "wonders", whatever is your weakness. 
Life comes from God...what is here is so fleeting, though it certainly doesn't feel like it at the time. We have been promised an eternal, perfect life, one which makes this momentary troubled time seem laughable. 

Hang onto Him with every ounce of strength. Cry out to Him for strength, for patience, for wisdom---He will indeed answer.